My Journey through Motherhood

And Another Year Goes By...

2011-08-26T16:21:00.008-05:00

Sometimes I'm sad about my lack of blogging, but my life is full and the key to balance is not doing everything that you may want to do, so blogging doesn't happen. Anyway, I now have a break from school and thought I'd take a moment (or hour) to try to reconstruct highlights from the last year. Bear with me.

Home
I mentioned last post that we sold our house in May and moved to a new suburb into a duplex. It has actually worked out great. While we struggle with some "old house" issues, things that break, become our landlord's expense. We have enough room for now and even though we're attached on 2 walls, we never hear our neighbors. The best part is we LOVE our neighborhood. We know more neighbors by name than we did in our old neighborhood that we lived in for 9 years. There are a few girls close to Grace's age or a little older (one was even in the same kindergarten class) and Grace spends tons of time outside "running the neighborhood." Thankfully we can see about 1/3 of the entire street from our front window and we've met all the other parents, so we feel safe letting her hang out with her friends. We intend to stay here until I graduate and we find out where I'll be working.

Eric
At last post, Eric was still unemployed. It was actually a real blessing to have him home when I started school. School was a big transition for me (more on that later) and it was very nice not to have to worry about when I got home for the babysitter or if my schedule changed. However, eventually (about mid-March) unemployment ran out and it was time to get serious about the job search. Eric had a very promising lead for basically the same job he used to do, but it fell through last minute. Then the husband of one of my school friends gave him a lead on a Management Training/Sales job at a mattress company. He was hired in less than a week and started right before Easter. It's actually turned out really well for us. Because it's retail, he has to work weekends, which on one hand stinks, but on the other that means his 2 days off per week are weekdays and he can choose his days off each month. So, we coordinate schedules, so that we are only using a sitter 1 or 2 days per week. The savings in childcare makes the salary managable.

We posted ads on Craigslist for a babysitter and found someone that had her own 3 year old son that she brought with her to play with Luke. That worked out well for a couple weeks and then she had a trip to the ER and found out she was 6 months pregnant, in preterm labor, and needed bedrest. So, no sitter. We had a week to find someone else. We posted another Craigslist ad and signed up for Care.com and interviewed a couple more people. We ended up finding someone who is a single mom with a 4 and 5 year old that brings them with her. She's been very flexible and reasonably priced, so we're pretty happy with for the last 3 months or so. Although we may be searching again as her son is starting kindergarten and they aren't in the same district as us.

So, back to Eric. He was doing good at work and went to the company training in Texas in June. Once he finished training he was officially a manager in training and was now eligible for commission. So, July (the first full month of commission eligibility) he was the top salesperson in Columbus and made about $1200 in commission over his draw. Yay, Eric! It looks like he'll at least make his draw in August and if he makes draw in September, they've pretty much guaranteed him a store to manage. He also became eligible for benefits, so we're switching him and the kids to his insurance to save some money (compared to my student health insurance premiums). So, all good news.

Eric has also been keeping up with the photography business. He's had several shoots this year (made just under $600 last year) including 3 shoots this month and a wedding earlier this year. He's got 2 more weddings lined up for next summer, so I'm so proud of him.

Grace
Grace started kindergarten last fall and just started first grade this year. She did awesome and loved kindergarten. Although we liked her school, Eric and I decided to apply for the magnet school program here in town. She was accepted into a Math & Science magnet school, so started a new school this year. She's also now in full day school versus half day kindergarten, and now rides the bus, so quite a few changes! This year at her 6 year old checkup at the Craniofacial Clinic at Children's Hospital, they noticed that she was becoming very nasal in her speech. They did a nasal scope and found that her palate wasn't closing completely in the back allowing air to escape during speech. The cause was likely shrinking of adenoid tissue casused by age. So, more surgeries needed. In April, she had her tonsils and adnoids removed, so they wouldn't continue to change shape and cause further gaps. Then on Monday (this week) she had her repair surgery, a Posterior Pharyngeal Flap procedure. It's kind of complicated, but the basically built a tissue bridge to close off her nose from her mouth most of the time, so when she speaks she isn't hypernasal. She's doing great and her recovery has been surpisingly easy. She'll go back to school on Monday and I hope her voice will start sounding "normal" within a couple weeks as things heal and any swelling goes down.

Luke
My year with Luke has been challenging. We've been dealing with the 2-3 year old defiance and lack of social skills. Our biggest problem with Luke is that he is so big for his age, (55 pounds and 3'6" at his 3 year check-up), that when he does normal 3-year old stuff like tackling his sister or throwing things, it hurts! However, for the most part he is very sweet and giving. As his language skills explode, we learn and more about his personality. He's very funny and loves to make people laugh. He's such a funny boy and loves all people. He transitioned from his crib to a twin bed right before his birthday. It was a little bit of a challenge to keep him in bed and now he gets up early (usually about 6:15 a.m.), but he's adjusted pretty well and still takes about a 2 hour nap in the afternoon. Luke took a very long time to become interested in potty training. We had to switch to pull-ups because he outgrew diapers. But even the pull-ups were becoming a challenge. We got to the point where he started telling us he wanted to pee, so he would. Eventually he started staying dry most of the day, but he wanted no part of sitting on the toliet or wearing underwear. Finally, we convinced him to wear a pair of underwear in July and he's had about 3-4 accidents since and no more pull-ups (even at nap and bedtime). Going #2 is still a challenge, he waits as long as possible before he goes and then gets extremely distressed when it's time. He has very clear signs that he needs to go, so if we take him in and physically hold him on the toliet, he'll go, otherwise, he just screams and cries and goes in his underwear. Still working on that one. We considered pre-school for him this year, but I'm not quite sure the potty-training is where it needs to be yet, so maybe next fall.

Faith
At last post, Faith was getting ready for her cleft palate repair surgery. It went well. We had problems the first week getting her to eat or drink. I think the bottle nipple hit her stiches, so everything was uncomfortable. She also HATED her arm restraints and her sleep schedule got all messed up. BUT, once we finished recovery, she's been doing great. She makes noises that Grace never made (blowing rasberrys, can say "Daddy", etc. She also can drink out of a straw and blow bubbles, so I'm wondering if her time in speech therapy may be even less than Grace's. She's coming up on 2 years old and is just starting to show us the attitude. :) Don't know why the attitude is still cute on this one. She's so lovable and cuddly, but has a stubborn, sneaky streak in her. But she carries out the mayhem with a dimpled-smile and a laugh, so she probalby gets away with more than she should! I think she knows what buttons to push and tries to stir up touble with her siblings. She has to be in everything that they are doing and is pretty sure she must be one of the big kids. She's also my climber. Surprisingly, she hasn't climbed out of the crib yet, but I pull her off tables, chairs, and everything else all day long. Her language skills are also developing. I don't understand alot of what she says, but she talks ALOT. I adore her. :)

Me
Let's see, what have I been up to? Ha! Grad school! I started school in September and it was quite a transition period. Getting back into the habit of studying and having SO MUCH reading and studying to do was (and still is) quite overwhelming. Eric was sweet and insisted that he share the basement with me and got me a big, old desk, a desk lamp, and bookshelves to have a dedicated study area. At the time, I didn't know that it was necessary, but now I realize it was a great idea. When it was time to study, I went to my area and didn't have the excuse of watching television or anything else. My first quarter classes included a nursing basics class and clinical placement in a PCU (ICU step-down) unit at the hospital. We learned basic skills of personal care (bathing, bedpans, linen changes, feeding, etc.) and some basic nursing skills (sterile technique, catheters, suctioning, dressing changes, etc). We also learned medication administration for oral, topical, and injectable meds. We also learned the basics of assessment for all body systems. My other classes were Pathophysiology (hard!) and Statistics. Next quarter was med/surg nursing and I was placed on the burn unit for clinical. New skills this quarter were phlebotomy (blood draws), IVs including starting an IV, hanging IV medications, and giving IV push medications. I started my first IV and got to see a pretty horrific wound dressing change on a burn victim. I also had a surgery observation day and saw a MAZE heart procedure. Other classes that quarter were Pathophysiology 2, Human Development, and an elective on Women and Cancer. I believe I got 2 A's and 2 A-'s that quarter. Then spring quarter I got all hyped up. My clinical classes were Pediatrics and Obstetrics with clinical placements at Riverside postpartum floor (with a day in Labor and Delivery) and the Oncology floor at Children's Hospital (with a day in the NICU). My other class was a Culture class. Then summer quarter (that I just finished) my clinical class was High Acutity and I had a placement on a floor in the Heart Hosptial with post-MI patients and others needing procedures like heart catherterization or ablation or cardioversion. That was some tough material, but I buckled down. My other classes were Master's level classes in Nursing Policy and Politics and Theories of Advanced Practice Nursing. So far, I have about a 3.78 GPA, so I'm pretty pleased with my work. Now I have 4 glorious weeks off until I start up with Psych and Community nursing and my first Midwifery class in the fall.

I love school. I'm so happy that I took the leap of faith and did this. Now that it's been a year I can't believe how much I've learned. I feel almost like a "real" nurse when I was freaking out about taking a blood pressure less than a year ago. I have 2 more quarters than I can take the NCLEX and will be an RN. In June next year, I will be starting my first Midwifery clinicals. Speaking of...I also added a specialty. I'm now doing both Midwifery and Women's Health. So, now when I finish I'll take the boards to become both a Certified Nurse Midwife and a Women's Health Nurse Practitioner. I'm hoping it will even further open up my employment opportunities. I've made some great new friends and realize that I love the college atmosphere and lifestyle. Not that it hasn't been without challenges. Finding time to go to group meetings or study for exams when Eric is working can be challenging if we don't want to pay for an extra day of babysitting, but most days I can get stuff done and I just focus my available time. Perhaps most surprising to me is exactly how much more time I'm spending with the kids. And for the most part, I love it. I'm practically a stay-at-home Mom too.

Speaking of roles, my side business has changed too. I can't remember if I posted that I signed up in March 2010 to be a Premier Designs consultant. So, I was selling jewelry and doing ok at it. I actually had I think 5 or so shows lined up for September last year, but for one reason or another, several fell through and the ones I did do, I didn't push for bookings. Once school started, I had no time to work on the business and I had a lot of guilt when I did have shows because I couldn't study that night or I was missing time with the family. So, in March when my contract was up for renewal, I decided not to renew. I did get to keep all my jewelry and was able to sell pretty much all of my supplies. I didn't anticipate it being so hard to do in school, but still think if I was "just" a stay-at-home Mom or even still working, it would have been o.k.

So, I started a new side business! I'm a glutton for punishment (or addicted to projects). My friend S. and I were chatting (she's already a Bradley Childbirth Instructor) and she mentioned that she was considering becoming a Birth Doula. It clicked that that would be a great role for me also. So, we went through training together in June. I'm now a DONA-trained Birth Doula and just need to go to a few births and fill out alot of paperwork to finish my certification. In case you don't know what a doula is, a doula is basically a labor support person. Most doulas are hired for natural births because we specialize in emotional and physical support during labor, but can do medicated births too. I currently have one client booked for January, but hopefully will get a few more in the not too distant future. I really am doing this not for the money, but because I think the practice supporting women in labor will come in handy when I am practicing as a midwife. I'm including the link to my doula blog which I'm going to try to update monthly about the business stuff and any births I get to attend.

So, that's the nuts and bolts of the last year. Been a busy one, but good. My family is healthy and relationships strong, my school is going great, we're surviving financially and I couldn't be happier. I'd say I'll try to update here more often, but who am I kidding? Although, if you would like to be a friend of mine on Facebook (where I tend to do most of my posting), send me a message and I'll give you my contact info, so we can be friends. :)

The Kids

2010-08-20T20:19:00.001-05:00

The Kids
Originally uploaded by Jenmomma

This is why I don't have time to blog anymore! All is well in our household. We've had a busy half year. We sold our house in May and moved into a better school district. We're renting a duplex with tons of space and nomaintenance worries. Eric has been staying home with the kids and it's actually very nice not to have to worry about babysitters.

Grace starts kindergarten on September 1st and she's so excited. Speaking of starting school, it's finally happening for me too! I've been working on it for years, but in just 4 weeks, I will be starting my Master's program full time! I've given my notice at work and been getting prepared by buying my books, parking pass, scrubs and equipment, and getting my clinical complance done (CPR, immunizations, background checks, etc.). I'm so excited I can hardly stand it!

Anyway, before all that goes down, Faith is scheduled for her cleft palate repair on September 7th. I'm praying it will be smoother for her than Grace's surgery. My parents will be coming to stay for a few days while she's in the hospital and first days home to help with Grace and Luke and make sure Grace doesn't miss school!

That's my short entry for now. Just wanted to let everyone know I'm still around. Just busy and happy!

Craniofacial Visit

2010-01-05T22:17:00.002-05:00

My day started off kind of crazy. It started last night (yesterday afternoon) when I got a text from my best friend telling me that her baby was sick and so she wouldn't be able to watch Grace and Luke during our doctor's appointment with Faith so we didn't risk catching it. So, we called our old babysitter and left a message and tried a church friend (who unfortunately was back to work as a teacher) to find someone to watch them. We didn't get a return call from the babysitter before bed. Due to Faith's feeding schedule, I didn't attempt to really go to bed until after her midnight feeding.

We slept really well until about 3 a.m. and then Faith moved from the bassinet to my bed until about 4:40 a.m. when she let me know she really was hungry. I fed her, pumped, and then attempted to convince her it wasn't supposed to be "awake time" until about 6:30 a.m. when she finally fell asleep and let me turn off the TV (light). At 8 a.m., Grace burst into my room and told me that Luke was awake and that Daddy had sent her upstairs only one time. I informed her that Faith was not awake and she needed to leave us alone. About 20 minutes later, she came back in and told me that she got Luke out of his crib and sure enough he was all smiley beside her. I have no idea how she got him out of his bed. He weighs more than 30 pounds! I was a bit grouchy, but I changed Luke's diaper and took him downstairs and got his milk and handed them over to Daddy. I attempted to go back to bed, but I couldn't stop thinking about our babysitting situation, so I got back up and started my morning. Around 9 I started making more calls, but long story short, we couldn't find anyone on short notice to watch the kids. So, we decided that we'd attempt to give Luke an early nap, so he wouldn't be too horrible at the 1 p.m. appointment.

Around noon we left and stopped at McDonalds for lunch and then headed to Children's Hospital for Faith's craniofacial appointment. The kids were mostly well behaved except for Luke figuring out where the light switch for the room was and feeling the need to push the chairs all over the room and play with the automatic water in the sink.

Faith's appointment started with the Nurse Practioner and her weigh-in and measuring. She weighed 8 pounds, 6 ounces! After 2 1/2 weeks she's made it back to her birth weight. She was born at 8 pounds, 2 ounces, was 7-8 at discharge (2 days). We had a weight check at 4 days and she was down to 7-2. At 1 week we rechecked and she was up to 7-6 and then again at 9 days and she was up to 7-8. So in the last 8 days she's gained another 14 ounces. I guess my pumping is doing some good at fattening her up! They asked us about her feeding and seemed satisfied that she's taking 3 1/2 to 4 ounces every 3 hours. Next we met with the surgeon. He explained that her cleft is both hard and soft palate. He will do a repair surgery when she is 9 or 10 months old (we got back June 1st for another consultation and to finalize the plans). The reapair will be the same as Grace's surgery. They will cut down the gum line to get some extra tissue and then pull the skin together and stitch it up the middle. Apparently, the bone on the roof of the mouth isn't that important as long as there is something separating the mouth from the nasal/sinus cavities. So, her repair will be all soft tissue and she will never have any bone on the roof of her mouth. The next doctor to come in was the speech pathologist. At this point we don't have much to discuss with her, but I'm sure around age 2, she'll become a vital part of our team. The ENT came in and told us that we can expect Faith to have lots of ear infections and unless she somehow doesn't have any ear infections and her ears look great, we'll have tubes put in during her repair surgery. Shouldn't be a big issue and we are used to that with Grace, so we'll just keep an eye on it. The last set of doctors we saw was the dentist group. She confirmed the cleft doesn't extend to the gum line. She did say it appears that her mandible (lower jaw bone) may be a little small and that if it doesn't catch up we may need braces or something, but for now, there are no major issues. The geneticist wasn't in today, so we didn't get to have that meeting, but they do want us to reschedule that appointment, now that we have siblings both with clefts. I'm curious to know why (if they can tell us) we had two out of our three children with the same birth defect, but at the same time, we don't have any intention of having more children, so it doesn't really matter as long as they don't find anything else wrong with Faith (or Grace).

So, that's the update on the appointment. I need to go make some more milk for Faith before she wakes up for our last feeding before Mommy's bedtime. :)

Faith's Going Home Duds

2010-01-03T22:06:00.001-05:00

Faith's Going Home Duds
Originally uploaded by Jenmomma

As mentioned in my previous post, here is a picture of Faith. Click for more pictures.

Happy 2010!

2010-01-03T20:38:00.004-05:00

It would seem that I've been on a blogging hiatus for most of 2009. It was a crazy year that I never could have imagined, but we've made it through. Now I'm standing here looking forward to 2010 and not really knowing what is in store for my family. If I learned anything over the last 18 months or so, it is that I am not in control and my best laid plans don't always work out. I've become much more relaxed in that manner. I'm learning to go with the flow, have faith that God is in control of my life, depend on my husband and cherish our open communication, and believe that in the end as long as I have my family and my faith, things will work out for the best.

That being said, I do have a couple of resolutions/goals for 2010 (and then I'll attempt to catch up on 2009).
1. My pregnancy years have come to a close (yes, I gave birth to #3, more to come later), so as soon as I am cleared medically, I plan to start watching what I eat and exercising. I'm currently 10 pounds from my pre-pregnancy weight, so at a minimum I need to lose that, but ideally 20 pounds would put me at a very comfortable weight (especially if I can tone a bit).
2. Be a good wife. This year I read the 5 Love Languages book and think I've learned a little more about how to make my husband feel loved. I need him and that means I need to continue to show him that I love him, need him, and respect him. This means I need to be fully committed to supporting his dreams and aspirations, and being thankful to what he contributes to our family, be it financial or through work around the house or time with the kids.
3. Be a good mom. I have 3 children now, so it's vitally important to me that I remember to enjoy all the small moments with them. Each of my children needs quality time with me, so sometimes that means that the dishes or laundry have to wait until after bedtime, so I can play a game of Operation, give a bottle, or have a tickle fight.

Those are the only things I'm willing to put down as goals. Some other things that I'd like to see happen, but I can't 100% control are:
1. School - I'd like to start my Masters program full time in the fall.
2. Finances - I'd like to get in the position that we can get by if I am in school full time.

So, a little about what's been going on.

Baby #3
Faith Evelynn is my new daughter. I don't think I posted since my intial announcement, but Faith was born on December 19, 2009 at 4:39 p.m. She weighed 8 pounds, 2 ounces and was 20 1/2 inches long. We did end up finding out she was a girl, although we had considered having this last baby be a surprise. In an early ultrasound (12 weeks) we thought we saw "boy parts" so we wanted to confirm and when we confirmed, we found out "he" was actually a "she." Because of all of our shoulder dystocia issues with Grace and Luke and Luke's extremely large size, we kept a close eye on her growth and decided to induce 3 weeks early to be sure she didn't get too big. We did an amnio on Dec. 17th for lung maturity and when we got the results, my parents and Eric's Dad and girlfriend came in on the 18th. Christie stayed with Grace and Luke on Saturday morning while my parents and Eric's Dad came to the hospital with us. My induction went smoothly. I seemed to stall at about 3 cm for a couple of hours (too early for an epidural), so I spent some time on a birthing ball for some pretty intense contractions. Finally made it to 5 cm and got my epidural. After that I progressed to 10 cm very quickly and when it was time to push I pushed twice during one contraction and she was born. No shoulder dystocia and the easiest delivery yet!

After birth, when we were doing the newborn assessments in our post-partum room our baby nurse surprised us by informing us that Faith had a cleft of the hard palate. We were shocked that we again have to deal with this birth defect. We will be visiting the Craniofacial Clinic at Children's Hospital on Tuesday (1/5) to determine exactly what the plan will be to get her fixed up. So far, things are going well. She has to use the same special bottles that Grace used and I'm pumping as she can't breastfeed. I haven't decided how long we're going to pump, but it isn't making me crazy yet, so I am just keeping going day by day.

Eric's Job
I think at my last post, Eric was still at home with Grace and working nights and weekends at Wal-Mart. He did take a job with a medical collections firm at the beginning of July. Things were going well when he was let go without a good explanation at the beginning of November. He did qualify for unemployment again, but now the "base" period used for calculating benefits only included the time he was at Wal-Mart, so our weekly benefit is significantly less than before. He's now keeping both Grace and Luke at home and will have Faith too if he isn't back to work before I finish up maternity leave. For now, we've decided not to have him take a part-time job as it would reduce the unemployment benefit and there's no way he could work late nights and take care of all the kids all day. We are also looking into ways for him to get started on some photography stuff. In the fall he took some pictures of friends in outdoor settings for his portfolio and he just used some of his birthday/Christmas money to buy some backdrops and studio lighting so he can start doing some indoor work too. I hope he can get a couple of shoots set up and eventually start doing some photography work on the side. It's crazy and I don't know why we have to deal with this unemployment stuff again. I am not sure what our plan is. He really needs whatever job he takes to pay well, as we'll have to pay for childcare for 3 kids.

Grace
Grace just turned 5. She's awesome and funny and so smart. She can almost read now. If we spent a little more time working on it, she'd have it down. She's an excellent colorer. She does imaginary games all the time. She loves dinosaurs and learning about anything. She also loves her baby sister and brother.

Luke
Luke is about to turn 20 months old. He's hitting the terrible twos I think as we are constantly saying "No, Luke." He's so sweet though and the "no's" are all because he's into everything. He loves the "moan (phone)" and watching "Mo" (Nemo). He runs, dances, and attempts jumping. He loves playing peekaboo and laughs and smiles all the time. His conversational skills keep improving. I feel like he drops a new word on us almost every day. He's grown up from my baby to a toddler. It's exhausting, but also wonderful. He loves his Momma and blows kisses and gives big hugs before bedtime (all other times of the day he's too busy to be bothered). He's become a Daddy's boy too. I love it.

School
I just finished my Columbus State pre-requisites for the Master's of Nursing program. My application to the Masters program was due December 15th. I completed everything and sent it all in. I haven't received the decision yet, but could find out in March. I expect I will be accepted, but am not sure if I'll be able to go or not. With Eric's job situation it doesn't seem to be possible financially to think I could quit my job. Now thinking of the possible future surgeries that Faith might need, I know I need my insurance, so I unless Eric gets a great job with comparable benefits, I'm not sure how it's possible. I do think this career path is what God wants for me, so I'm trying not to look too far ahead as I can't control the future. I'm hoping that something will work out by Spring when I have to make a decision as I can't defer and if I don't start in the Fall, I'd have to reapply for next year.

House
We're trying to sell our house again. When Eric lost his job in November we put the house up again. We're hoping to get out and break even. If we can rent someplace with at least 3 bedrooms for a little less than we pay now in a better school district, we can eliminate some expense, plus solve our delima of where to send Grace to kindergarten in the fall. We'd be able to rent until I finish school and then hopefully buy a bigger place in the same school district. So far, no luck, but we're trying to stay positive.

So, that's about it. I'm going to try to post more often because I missed writing. Now that I'm done with classes until at least summer (assuming I'm going to start full-time in the fall), I should have a little more time in the evenings. I'm not sure if the picture I tried to post with this worked, so if not, I'll add a picture of Faith soon.

Look What I Can Do!

2009-06-26T09:04:00.001-05:00

Look What I Can Do!
Originally uploaded by Jenmomma

Thought I'd update really quickly about Luke's walking skills. He's been taking steps for about a month, but is starting to get good. Although in this video he gets a little too excited, so doesn't get far. He can walk accross the room pretty easily now and tries to walk most of the time before he crawls. Yay Luke!

I Have An Announcement

2009-05-31T14:07:00.002-05:00

Ultrasound 7w5d
Originally uploaded by Jenmomma

While many of you that know me in real life, have already heard the news, I am ready to make my announcement on Blogger. We are expecting Baby #3, due January 8, 2010. As of today, I am 8 weeks and 2 days pregnant.

Even though I have not been writing about it here, I have so far been documenting all the details in a paper journal I keep by my bed. So I wanted to share a few of details so far here.

I had mentioned several months ago my desire to have a third baby, but that I was unsure about the timing due to school deadlines and Eric's employment situation. Eric and I spent more time discussing and praying and decided to continue to have faith that God will provide for us. I even had come to peace that when we did start trying I would stick to the window of needing to be pregnant by my August cycle or that if I wasn't, I would trust that the time was not right for us and focus on still starting school full time 2010 and deciding in the future if we would ever have a third child. But when to start?

I started charting my cycles again in January. I still had my IUD in,but mine is non-homonal (ParaGard rather than Merena), so I knew my cycles were not influenced. I was kind of thinking of maybe removing my IUD and starting to "try" in May or so, but after watching a couple months and having an anovulatory cycle and 2 cycles with only an 8 day lutal phase, I was beginning to get a little scared that my cycles weren't going to be regular enough to sustain a pregnancy. So, I talked to Eric in late March (3/23/09 according to my journal) and he agreed that I could make the appointment. They actually scheduled me really quickly for an April 1st removal. My cycle started on March 31st and on day 2, I had my IUD removed. Seemed a little fast and scary to me, because when we were chatting in March I never really thought we'd get everything done in time to make April a viable month to really start trying.

So, I charting in April. I also wanted to do a pregnancy test experiment this time, so I ordered some really cheap pregnancy tests online (seriously, I got 100 tests for $34 plus $6 shipping). I was getting kind of hyped up and decided to try using an OPK (Ovulation Predictor Kit) this month too. I started taking them on CD 14 and day 16 got an almost positive result, I couldn't tell about Day 17 and day 18 was negative again. My temperature rose on Day 19, so we estimated a Day 18 ovulation date. So, since I knew when I ovulated, I started taking HPT's at 1 DPO. I kept them all to see how early a pregnancy could possibly show up. I figured I had enough tests to last me until August if needed.

Of course nothing happened for a while, but on on April 22 at 5 DPO, I started spotting and cramping. Considering the last 2 months I only had 8 DPO before starting, I assumed this meant that I was again going to have a short cycle. The spotting and cramping lasted 3 days, stopping by Saturday when I was in Chicago for GWO. I had brought my tests with me and got up and tested each morning. Although, I couldn't let them sit the whole 10 minutes, since no one knew what I was doing, but i put them back in my ziplock to take home with me. So, Monday after GWO, 10 DPO, I was getting encouraged that my new cycle still hadn't started yet, and when I used my cheap test, I thought maybe I might see a hint of a line. I couldn't be sure though, so I used the same urine (the cheap tests require dipping in a cup) and used a digital test I had gotten on sale. I went to get some clothes from the basement while it was processing and when I got back upstairs it was staring at me saying "Pregnant." I have to say I was completely floored. Of course, I had hoped it would work, but honestly, I never thought it would happen on the first try again. Wow, we are so blessed.

So, at this point, we hadn't told anyone we had started trying except for Samara and I had told 2 of my coworkers that I chat with daily, so after telling them the news, we decided we wanted to keep it to ourselves for a little while.

I think Luke is waking up from his nap, so I will go tend to him, but I will write again soon about how we told our family and our symptoms to date. I have a new set in Flickr with pictures from this pregnancy, including now a "weekly" belly picture, which I was inspired to do by my friend Danialle. So far, believe it or not, I haven't missed one of those from 4 to 8 weeks. Please ignore my starting flab. :)

Happy Birthday Luke!

2009-05-26T21:57:00.001-05:00

Blow Out the Candle
Originally uploaded by Jenmomma

I can't believe I'm 3 weeks late on this, but wanted to be sure to mark the occassion. My baby is 1 year old!

His actual birthday was marked with very little fanfare, just a birthday shirt, birthday shots :(, and an extra sqeeze when dropping him off at the sitter. He did have his one year checkup on the day and weighs in at a healthy 26 pounds 12 ounces. Although, he's down to 93rd percentile for weight and about 80% for height.

The following weekend we had his birthday party. Very low key. We just had a cookout and had Nana, Grandpa Gary and Grandma Christie, and Will, Samara, Ava, and Clara over for cake and presents. He loved the cake and was a great little host opening his presents. After opening he gave each gift his full attention and spent some time that day playing with each new toy! His favorite is still the drum from Nana. He's such a boy and loves to bang on things.

So now that he's one, we should probably discuss milestones! He had 4 teeth on his birthday (we've added one more since then). While he stands and cruises constantly, still no walking. Although last week (or maybe two...) he took his first 2 steps first at the sitters and then later that night for me. Since then, he will turn and let go alot, but then changes his mind and drops to his knees for quick crawling. He is getting very good at standing unsupported, so I have to believe eventually the walking will come. I know he isn't late yet, he's just taking his time. I think we were expecting it to be like Grace who was walking across rooms at 11 months old.

We have completely switched to table food now. Luke LOVES meat. So strange to me, but any kind of meat product he will eat right up, bacon, sausage, ham, hamburger, chicken, etc. He's not nearly as adventurous on the fruits and veggies, but will still eat applesauce if you spoon feed him and does like bananas. He also is a huge fan of yogurt. We also switched him to whole milk. He drinks it fine, but won't take it completely cold, so we have to warm it up a bit first. I'm going to try to start warming it less and less, so eventually he'll drink it cold too. We haven't taken away the bottle yet, but probably could because he'll use a sippy cup very well and self-feeds the bottle. Mostly just didn't have enough sippy cups, so when we run out, I grab a bottle. I need to probably fix that soon!

His personality is still very sweet. He's definately adventurous and wants to get his hands on everything, but he does still want an occassional cuddle from his Mommy. He is starting to voice his opinions more than before (must be learning something from his sissy) and will cry if you tell him "no" or take something away from him or stop him from getting to something he wants. He definately understands alot of what we say, but doesn't say much yet. We get a Mama or Dada (unfortunately usually if he's mad about something) and now I think he says "dog" alot when he's pointing at Zeus. We used to think he said "Grace" but I haven't heard that one lately.

I think the most interesting thing for me to watch is how different boys and girls are. Now I'm starting to pick out true gender differences other than just differences between my children. Luke really likes toys that make lots of noise or have wheels. He would push things across a table, so we bought him some toy cars and he loves to roll them back and forth. I never remember Grace doing that. He also makes a lot of non-verbal noises. He grunts, growls, and screechs. Grace's noises all seemed more predictive of language. He likes to make noise, just to hear the sound it makes.

It's been a great year. It went by so fast! He's still an amazing little guy and I have to say I'm kind of excited to see how he turns out as a toddler. I think I may have my hands full! He's going to be sweet, but full of mischief.

Click on the picture to go to Flickr and see the rest of the pictures from party day!

Happy Easter!

2009-04-12T20:10:00.001-05:00

Grace and Luke
Originally uploaded by Jenmomma

Happy Easter. I hope yours was a great one. More pictures from our Easter on Flickr. Hope to get pictures from yesterday's egg hunt off Eric's camera eventually.

Luke and the Gate

2009-04-08T19:08:00.001-05:00

Luke and the Gate
Originally uploaded by Jenmomma

One more video of Luke and Grace.

Luke at 11 Months

2009-04-08T19:07:00.001-05:00

Luke Watches Monkeys at the Zoo
Originally uploaded by Jenmomma

I started this post with a video from the zoo this weekend. We were watching some crazy monkeys at the zoo and Luke was enthralled. I thought it was cute.

So, my baby is 11 months old. I can hardly believe he's been here almost a year. Sometimes he still seems like my baby, but then again over the last couple of months he's been hitting so many milestones he seems like he'll be all grown up way too soon.

So what is Luke like as an 11 month old?

Physically
I have no idea his height or weight, but he seems tall to me. He can grab the top of the kitchen table when standing and his 12 month clothes are getting short in the legs. We have started buying 18 month clothes for spring and summer, but still are wearing some 12 month clothes for the warmer stuff. I just couldn't go buy 18 month winter clothes when it should start warming up anytime. We may be getting close to his first haircut, but I am not ready yet. He's still kind of thin in the front, but the back of his head is covered with the softest light brown hair that has just a touch of curl to it. His 3rd tooth broke skin on Sunday (4/5/09 - the top left) and I think #4 will be here anytime too.

His motor skills seem right on track for his age. He can get into sitting from his belly or standing. He pulls up on anything he can get his hands on and cruises effortlessly. Occasionally he will get busy with his hands and I'll catch him standing without holding on, but he doesn't know it. Yesterday I had him stand in the middle of the floor and he can stand alone for a few seconds before he gets scared and sits down. He doesn't really enjoy trying to "walk" if you hold his hands. He'd rather explore on his own. He is very coordinated though and can bend over and pick things up or reach for things while holding on and rarely falls.

Mentally
It's kind of hard to tell how smart he is yet, but he does at least understand the word "no" now. He has a thing for our broiler on the stove, so anytime he tries to play with the stove, he hears "no" alot. Luke is also extremely vocal. He babbles all the time and makes the strangest noises. I've heard that boys do that alot more than girls and so far it's true.

He LOVES his sister. She can make him laugh whenever she wants and he always wants to be involved in whatever Grace is up to. Thankfully, Grace eats it up and will talk and play with him to make him happy. She just gets a little mad if she's trying to color and he takes her paper, wads it up and eats it. She's learned that if she doesn't want him to bother her, she should play at the kitchen table.

He is still my happy smiley boy, but we're starting to get some tantrums thrown in there too. He definately has wants now and if you don't fulfill them or take something away, he lets you know he isn't happy about it. He seems to be a "Mama's Boy." He will let Eric hold or care for him, but if I'm in the room, I'm the one he wants.

Eating
Regarding food, we're trying to increase the kinds of "real" food we let Luke try. So far, he likes most things. I can't think of anything he won't eat. Sometimes he prefers you to still "feed" him instead of self-feeding, but he'll eat it. He especially loves Chipotle rice, just like his Mom and sister. He can hold his own bottle and many times feeds himself the bottle. I still like to hold him though because that's the only time he'll sit still for me. I've given him a few sippy cups and he does ok, but I just don't really think about it often enough to give it to him all the time. As of now, we'll plan to switch to whole milk at 12 months, so we'll see how that goes.

From What To Expect The First Year (11 Months):
By the end of this month, your baby
...should be able to:
- Get into a sitting position from stomach (yes)
- Pick up tiny object with any part of thumb and finger (yes, he loves tiny objects)
- Understand the word "no" (but not always obey it)

...will probably be able to:
- play patty-cake (clap hands) or wave bye-bye (He claps his hands together a lot and just started waving last week)
- walk holding onto furniture (cruise) (yes, definately)

...may possibly be able to:
- pick up a tiny object neatly with tips of thumb and forefinger (he loves this little bottle of Graces with a ribbon tied around it. He picks it up by the ribbon and carries it around)
- stand alone momentarily (yes)
- say dada or mama discriminately (I think so. He said mama the other day when I was changing him and tonight he was crawling towards Eric and I said, "say dada" and he did)
- say one word other than mama or dada (we think he says Grace, sounds more like "Geese"

...May even be able to
- Stand alone well (not quite yet)
- Indicate wants in ways other than crying (he reaches for things and makes other noises)
- "play ball" (roll ball back to you) (I don't play with enough balls, but he will hand you things and then take them back)
- Drink from a cup independently (only a sippy cup)
- use immature jargoning (gibberish) (Yes all the time)
- Say three or more words other than mama or dada (not that we can understand)
- respond to a one-step command without gestures (no)
- walk well (no)

I cannot believe in a month he'll be 1 Year Old. Must not forget that update!

March Recap

2009-03-31T18:12:00.003-05:00

So much for weekly posting, right? March has been busy for me. So, tonight I have some free time and am going to try to get caught back up. So, what do I have to talk about...

Dieting
I kind of fell off the bandwagon in March. I haven't been horrible, but I haven't been exercising or journaling my food intake. I think I'd lost about 3 pounds a month ago. I'm at about 6 right now. Only 1 pound from my pre-pregnancy weight. I keep saying I'm going to get serious again, but I really don't know. I'd like to lose about 10 more pounds still.

School
This is the major reason for falling behind on posting. Anatomy was tough. Not that the subject matter was overly difficult, but there was just so much of it! The lab part had usually a 2 to 3 page list of bones/markings (i.e. there was a whole page of terms for the skull/bone section)/muscles/organs(usually 2 or 3 columns per page). Our lab practicals consisted of about 70 identification items. Then the written exam went into more detail. Hard to explain exactly, but it was different information than the ID part, more like the function of different body parts or how they related to other areas of the body. Anyway, I had to study nearly every night just to get through the material to be prepared for the exams. My final was on 3/14 and 3/16 and I needed to get a 90% average on the final practical and exam to get an A in the class. I got a 93 on the practical, not sure on the exam, but did end up with an A for the quarter. Whew, I was sweating that one a bit. Next is Physiology which I also think I'll enjoy. I'm taking it on Friday nights for the Spring quarter and start this Friday. I've been slacking a bit about studying for the GRE, but eventually will get to it. I'd like to get serious on all the application stuff over the summer.

Babies
No, not me. Late February, Samara had a bit of a scare with preterm labor and had to do home bedrest for about a week. It was a bit scary, but she and baby behaved and they let her off restrictions. She's now 3/4 of the way through her pregnancy and I can hardly believe another friend is about to have her 3rd baby! Speaking of having babies, on Monday 3/23 Danialle after going almost 2 weeks past her due date had her daughter Addie! I wasn't able to travel to Chicago for the birth, but got frequent texts from Jamie (her sister) on the updates. She is a GORGEOUS baby and I can't wait to meet her in about a month. Yay for new babies!

Mini-Home Makeover
For at least a month, I planned to take Friday 3/20 and Monday 3/23 off of work to clean the house. I knew that weekend I'd be done with class and not have to study. I also knew, I'd have a really hard time getting done what I needed to get done with the family around, so I had Eric make a trip to Indiana to visit his Mom and take both kids. After getting so psyched about all the alone time with my house, we expanded our plans to include doing a little revamping too. We took some tax money and bought paint, new bedding for our room, some new rugs, curtains, a slip-cover, some throw pillows, a couple lamps, and new matching frames for the kid's milestone pictures to make the whole house look like new. I ended up painting 6 rooms in the house (family room, dining room, kitchen, 1/2 bath, master bedroom, and kid's bath) in addition I added the new stuff and CLEANED everything. I took before and after pictures for reference. You can view the set on Flickr if you follow this link.

My Family
My family is doing awesome. Sorry I didn't get Luke's 10 month update done. I'll do an 11 month one next week. Just a short re-cap, he's gotten really good at crawling. He now is 100% hands and knees rather than the belly crawl. He loves standing all the time and will pull up on anything. He's really coordinated at getting back down too and will even hold on with one hand and lean down to pick something up off the floor. He seems much more coordinated than Grace (unfortunately Grace inherited my clumbsiness). Still no walking, but I have caught him not holding on a couple times, but he hasn't noticed. This weekend at church I was holding him up by his hands and let go and he stood by himself for 3 or 4 seconds before freaking out and sitting down.

Grace is exceptionally smart and hilarious. She's getting really good at writing all her letters and while we haven't spent a ton of time working on "reading" I think she's picking up a little about how letters go together to make words. She seems to get simple math too, although we haven't formally worked on it. Although she still skips 15 and 17 everytime she counts to 20. She can't tell you what 2 plus 2 is, but can't count to 20, don't ask me! (Just tried out 5 minus 2 and she got that one right too). She is really good at reasoning. You can almost see her putting things together in her head. Eric and I have to really watch what we talk about in front of her, because she'll start asking questions or remember if for later. That explains why, it's likely that she'll make Eric help her plant flower seeds tomorrow. We got a seed packet in the mail a couple of weeks ago and I told her we had to wait until April when it was warmer to plant them. She keeps asking if it's April yet, and on Sunday, I told her 3 more days. This morning, she said, "Just one more day until April and we can plant our seeds!"

Eric is doing alright. He still doesn't have any really good leads on a job. He kind of prescreens them, because our financial situation at the moment including his unemployment, the extra money from his night job, and the money we're saving on childcare from keeping Grace at home, is pretty much exactly the same as what he was bringing home while working full time. He doesn't want to take a job at this point that pays less than he made before because we'd end up coming out further behind than we are at the moment. His first set of unemployment did run out, but he was approved for a 33 week extension. Considering he doesn't take the full benefit (because of the night job), I calculate that we have probably 9 to 10 more months of unemployment. I would hope that in that amount of time, he'll find something appropriate, or he'll have to accept something paying less than before. But, at least for now, we're in good shape. Also got a nice tax refund and some other money, so we're fully funded for my school for the year, Christmas, the annual trip to visit my parents, clothes for the kids for the year, plus have an emergency fund of about $4,000 that isn't allocated to anything and we haven't been using the credit cards at all since Eric's been getting his unemployment. We feel so lucky and blessed that God has provided over the last 8 months that we've been on "one" income.

April Plans
As previously mentioned, school starts again on Friday 4/3. We don't really have any plans for Easter, but I may see if my coworker and her fiance want to come have dinner on Sunday night, since they aren't traveling to visit family either (Will and Samara are going to NY and we're not going anywhere). Mom is coming to visit the weekend of 4/17, and I have my Chicago GWO to meet the new baby on 4/25. I think Samara can come this time too and we're considering flying over together. This month will fly by! May is busy too with Luke's 1st birthday, Ava's birthday party, a bachelorette party for my friend Tara, my 8th anniversary, Memorial Day, and possibly Samara's new baby (or early June).

That's all for now. Next week, I'll try to post some new Luke pictures and do a proper update on his 11 month milestones.

I Know I'm Behind

2009-03-16T20:37:00.002-05:00

Yes, I realize my weekly posting has gone awry. I will try to correct soon, just not tonight. I will blame it on trying to finish this quarter of Anatomy (just took my final exam and final practical tonight), a new internet service provider and a couple of days of inability to access secure servers, and just plain business. I owe an update on Luke at 10 months and by next week I want to share some pictures of my Spring Clean/Mini Home Makeover project that will be taking place this weekend while I send my husband and kids away for the weekend to visit Nana. Tonight, however, I'm just brain dead and want to veg for a bit with no guilt about lack of studying.

Monday Update

2009-02-23T21:47:00.002-05:00

Last week was pretty good. Made some progress on the diet. I lost 3 1/2 pounds. Was up to about 5 around Thursday, but weekends are a little tougher, so I'm still happy with the total outcome. I also managed to work out a bit too. I was on the treadmill 3 days, lifted weights 1 day, and did Pilates DVD's 3 days. Eric lost 6 1/2 pounds just by watching what he ate. Men are so lucky!

This week still trying and I found a really great website to track what you eat and activities. I just found it today, but it seems really cool and it's free!

Ok, back to studying and stuff, really big exam and practical this weekend coming up. More when things settle down a bit at work and school.

Getting Healthy

2009-02-16T21:33:00.002-05:00

Not to eclipse my last post about Luke, but I wanted to make a note that I am officially dieting again. I think I have my motivation this time though. Eric is going to do it with me. Yay! He actually brought it up and we spent some time last night reviewing menus, he went grocery shopping with me today, and we cleaned out the garage today so that we can use the treadmill and weight bench. I'm so psyched because now we shouldn't have any temptation foods in the house and we're in it together. We actually made a deal that if one of us exercises on any given day, the other one has to too! I'm going to attempt to do at least 20 minutes on the treadmill and some sort of toning exercises every day, probably in between Luke and Grace's bedtimes, considering I still need to study (which I should be doing right now).

My goal is 17 pounds (would have been 15 if my start weight today were my "usual" weight). I don't really have a timeline, but I'm shooting for beginning of May. I kind of think the first 5-7 will come off super quickly. I have a really strong personal incentive and I think it will keep me on track every time I want to quit or cheat. Eric's goal is about 45 pounds (I think). He hasn't come up with an incentive yet (except that he doesn't want to die, which I suppose is a good one). I just hope doing it together will keep us on track. I would love to feel good in my body again.

We are also hoping this will help Grace out as she's on the heavy side for a 4-year old. We're not talking about losing weight, but about being healthy and talking about what kind of foods are good for us. On Sunday I got sucked into the shows about the World's Heaviest Man and Grace told me he was "enormous". Today, at the store she asked if she could get candy and I told her know that candy wasn't good for us. She said, "If we eat lots of candy that isn't healthy for us, we will get really big like that guy on TV and that isn't good for us." Yes, indeed. She didn't even through a fit afterwards. We're very careful not to say she's "heavy" or "fat" or anything negative. She has no idea we're concerned about her weight, and she's 100% self-confident about her body and looks. I want to keep that innocence as long as possible, while still trying to keep in under control.

Ok, enough about that. I'll give you an update in a couple weeks and let you know how we're doing on this project.

Luke - 9 Months

2009-02-16T21:26:00.001-05:00

Luke - 9 Months
Originally uploaded by Jenmomma

I'm a week late, but Luke is officially 9 months old. This picture was from this weekend, so you are seeing a new skill that he didn't quite have at 9 months. Phyical milestones include crawling on hands and knees now, although he's a bit faster on his belly, so he'll switch between hands and knees and army crawling depending on what he wants. He has also learned to pull himself up. At 9-months exactly he had only figured out how to get to his knees, but over this weekend he learned to get all the way to his feet, demonstrated first when we walked in to see him standing in his crib! Now he does it constantly and has even taken a couple of sideways steps (cruising!). Also, tonight, he transferred from the coffee table to the couch via my leg. His other new thing is splashing in the bathtub. He LOVES it. I actually took some video tonight that I'll have to upload later of both kids in the bath.

His personality is still great. He's extremely happy and smiley, although we are getting a taste of his frustration cries when he can't get to something fast enough or wants me when I'm making dinner, etc.

Still just have the two teeth. Not sure when the next ones will be in.

Other stats, at his 9-month check-up on the 9th, he weighed in at 24 1/2 pounds (down from 96 to 93rd percentile) and was 29 1/4 inches long (80th percentile). So still a big boy, but not quite off the charts anymore.

Here are the milestones he's met according to "What to Expect the First Year," The Ninth Month:

...should be able to:
- work to get a toy out of reach
- look for dropped object

...will probably be able to:
- pull up to a standing position from sitting
- get into a sitting position from stomach (I think he could if he tried, but I've never actually seen him do it)
- object if you try to take a toy away
- stand holding onto someone or something
- pick up tiny object with any part of thump and finger
- say mama or dada indiscriminately (he says dada, but not mama)
- play peekaboo (he doesn't initate it, but loves it when we do it)

...may possibly be able to:
- play patty-cake (clap hands) or wave bye-bye (clap hands only)
- walk holding onto furniture (cruise) - got this one at 9 months 1 week
- understand word "no" (but not always obey it) - Not sure, he will look at you when you say no, but not sure if he knows what it means, although if he paid enough attention to Grace, he should!

...may even be able to:
- "play ball" (roll ball back to you) - He LOVES balls
- pick up a tiny object neatly with tips of thumb and forefringer

Peekaboo

2009-02-04T20:56:00.001-05:00

Peekaboo
Originally uploaded by Jenmomma

I was requested to upload more pictures, so here's one. I love it.

Good Week

2009-02-02T20:06:00.002-05:00

I had a really good week this week. Although, my studying skills slacked on Monday (got caught up in The Bachelor) and Tuesday (actually had a long conversation with my husband), I did study enough on Wednesday and Friday to feel fairly confident going into my lab practical on Saturday. Although, I have to admit this one was much harder as out of the 70 questions, 21 were identification on a cadaver, which is much tougher than looking at drawings/pictures of bones/muscles/structures. I still think I did ok. Also got my first exam score back as a 75/80 (94%), but after reviewing in class I had two "scantron errors" so that will actually bump up to 77/80 (96%). Exam #2 is this Saturday.

In addition to class, on Saturday I got to go out with Samara for dinner and a chance for the two of us to catch up sans children. Will couldn't watch Samara's girls last minute, so Eric volunteered to watch all 4 of the kids so we could still go out. Yay! They all survived and seemed to have fun too, so that's good.

Wednesday was a snow day, so it was fun to get to spend a day in the middle of the week with the family. Friday, I was supposed to go to "open lab" after work for some practice with the cadavers, but apparently they decided not to do it on Friday's anymore, so no practice for me.

Saturday morning Samara came over again with the girls. I'm trying to do a little research on the Bradley Method of childbirth as Danialle is planning on attempting an all natural delivery in March and Samara in June. So, I'm trying to learn a little so if I get to be in the delivery rooms I will know what to say or not to say to help them both experience the birth's they want. Anyway, Samara is taking a class and had a video she brought over for us to watch together. She also lent me a book that I'll be taking with me on my business trip to Texas later this week to read up.

Eric's been sick which isn't so good, but he did take off a day and a half of his night job, so I feel his more well-rested and I didn't have to worry about him driving home on Wednesday morning.

Today was weird. This morning I told my boss about wanting to attend Danialle's birth and that if I got the call in a few weeks, I'd want to leave as long as work permitted. She was cool with that and then an hour later Danialle calls to tell me she was heading to the hospital! Turns out it was a false alarm, but I did some flight checking and was ready to go if it turned out to be the real thing. Hoping the real thing holds off a bit longer so baby can get bigger and healthier. Also, work clears up alot after Feb 17, so that would be much nicer. :) So then later this afternoon Mom calls and tells me that my brother is in the hospital. He's got some nasty infection in his foot and needs a big dose of antibiotics and rest so hopefully it will clear up and not require surgery. Yuck!

Planning to study tonight after I get off here and put Grace in bed. Tomorrow I have a half day vacation and am going to an Overview at Ohio State on the Nursing program. Don't really know what questions I have except for how I can pay for school/living expenses and how to find the right people for recommendation letters. I'm really pumped up about this! If I get some good info, maybe I'll post again tomorrow.

As an update to my last post, I'm feeling a bit more peaceful. None of those decisions need to be made at this point, so I'm putting them aside and working on the things that need to be done now. I still trust God will show me the right path when the time is right.

Ok, better get Grace washed and in bed, so I can start studying before 9 p.m.

The Devil is in the Details

2009-01-26T19:49:00.005-05:00

Literally. I've spent a lot of time thinking about details this week and I think it has not necessarily been a good thing. When I started the process of going back to school in 2006, I was initally completely freaked out and terrified. Then after significant prayer and reflection, I decided to take it one step at a time and trust that if God called me to go back to school, that he would provide the means to do so. Since then, I've plodded along step by step. Now I feel like the pace is picking up and I am nearing the finish line of the preparation stage of this process.

I could be really freaked out right now. I am still working full time and going to school. I have two young children. The economy is horrible. My husband has been unemployed for 6 months. But, I haven't been stressed. I still believe that the right job opportunity will come along and until then with the combination of unemployment, the part-time funds, and saving child-care expenses for Grace, we are in the same financial situation we were before Eric lost his job. We still have about 6 weeks of the initial unemployment and then are eligible for an additional 26 week extension, so we are ok financially for a while.

Regarding what will happen when I get to go to school full time, I honestly haven't focused on the financial part of it. I have been just having faith that God will provide. Last week, however, Eric made me focus on it just a little bit more. We started discussing the possibility of having more children and he shared with me his anxiety of how we are going to afford for me to go to school with only one income (regardless of how many children we have at the time). Considering I'll be going full time, we'll still need at least part-time childcare and unless Eric's new salary is significantly (at least 50%) higher than what my salary is now, we won't have enough money to pay our bills, not to mention pay for childcare or any extras. That is one detail I haven't been concentrating on. I guess I just assume that somehow we'll figure out how to pay the bills and I'll get scholarships or loans to cover the actual school costs. Add to the financial strain, my desire to have a third child at some point, and now, I'm starting to freak out a little. The timing of the next baby is hard for me. I don't really want 5 years between Luke and the next one, but I also don't want to put off full-time school until 2011. The only other option would be to get things started in the next 6 months or so, but that is so questionable because of the employment situation and if we'd be able to afford 3 kids after I quit my job.

I have alot of unresolved issues that are keeping me unsettled. So, I'm trying to get back to that place where I put one foot in front of another and trust that I'm not walking off the edge of a cliff.

I'd like to share with you the prayer I've been praying and will be praying all week.

"I pray for faith. Give me faith that you will find a way to provide the desires of my heart. If the desires of my heart do not align with your will for my life, I pray that you will change the desires of my heart to fit your will and give me peace. I pray for faith that you will supply all our needs and give me the wisdom to see the doors you open before me and take what you are giving me. I pray for faith to trust that your will is perfect and you will bless me and my family."

If any of you out there are also the praying type, I wouldn't mind a little extra prayer for the following:
- Eric's permanent employment options
- Continued success in classes and other preparations in order to apply to school this fall
- A clear path to be revealed regarding the future of our family planning

Well about that success, I should get back to studying as I have Lab Practical #2 this Saturday and want to keep that 95% grade in tact. (Have I mentioned that I love my Anatomy class!)
-

Twinkle, Twinkle

2009-01-21T00:12:00.001-05:00

Twinkle, Twinkle
Originally uploaded by Jenmomma

Didn't post yesterday, so this will be it for this week. I have more videos to try to upload, but this was a "practice" video with my new super cute digital video camera. It's the size of a regular digital camera and uses a memory card instead of tape or DVD. I think the picture and sound aren't bad either. So here's my cutie pie!

I'll try to be a bit more interesting next week.

Second Tooth

2009-01-14T19:13:00.002-05:00

Just a quick update because Luke's baby book only has a spot to record his first tooth, rather than an update when each of them came in. Tonight I noticed his second tooth has broken through the skin. It is the bottom front right (his right) tooth.

It's almost exactly the same as Graces. Her first tooth was at 8 months exactly with #2 following 15 days later. We noticed Luke's first tooth on Jan 1 or 2 (5 or 6 days before he turned 8 months) and #2 is 12 to 13 days later.

Fun! Speaking of fun, better get to studying! I'm kind of hoping for a snow day tomorrow where I can catch up on TV and do some things around the house. Thursday's are my day off of studying.

School Plans

2009-01-12T19:28:00.003-05:00

So, it's Monday and I'm updating as promised. Will have to be quick as I'm about to start studying. On Saturday I started my first class since last January-March. I'm taking Anatomy and it promises to be very memorization oriented class and supposedly requires 18 hours of studying per week outside of class (yeah, right). I already have a written exam and lab practical (exam) this Saturday.

I'm sure I didn't explain here, but after Eric lost his job and I postponed returning to school this fall, I started re-thinking my med school plans. My pre-req schedule was tight, so by skipping the fall quarter, it would have delayed my school plans by another year, so the earliest I could start med-school would have been fall of 2011. Add 4 years of school and 3 years of residency, I would finally get to practice in 2018 or 10 years from now. We've been blessed to not be hurting too bad financially considering Eric's situation (after 2 months of fighting, he was awarded unemployment, plus he works retail overnights 3 days a week). But the 2 months on one salary gave me a hint of how tough it will be to live "poor" while I'm in school. Add to the fact that I'll be in school during the prime years of my kids life (Grace would be almost 14 by the time I finished residency and Luke would be 10) and the fact that I am pretty sure our family isn't yet complete (yes, I think I want another one), I started thinking that med-school would be quite a sacrifice.

So, short story, after some research and praying, I think I found a compromise. I'm going to apply (and hopefully attend) a Masters in Nursing program at Ohio State. They have a Graduate Entry program for people with undergrad degrees in non-nursing majors and after a 3 year full time program, you graduate as a Nurse Practioner. However, after 2 years you are eligible to become an RN and can work part-time during your 3rd year of school. When you enter the program, you pick a specialty and I am going to choose Nurse Midwifery. So, I'll still get to deliver babies and provide pre-natal care, just not the high-risk stuff or c-sections. The program has 5 required pre-requisites (of course none of which I've taken yet). Four of the pre-reqs are offered at the Community College I've been attending. The fifth class is offered during the summers at Ohio State. So, the plan is for me to start the 4 pre-reqs now (Winter 09, Spring 09, Summer 09, and Fall 09). Sometime this spring I'll take the GRE exam and work on the other application requirements. I'll have to apply by December 1, 2009 and will be notified by March 2010 if I'm accepted into the fall 2010 class. If yes, I'll be quitting my job in the summer of 2010 (unless my work surprises me by being flexible) and I'll take the final pre-requisite class before starting full time in the fall of 2010. By 2013, I'll be a practicing Midwife.

This is so exciting to me, that in just under 5 years I could be in a brand new career that I will love and really be helping women and delivering babies! Well, first I have to pass Anatomy (who am I kidding I want an A!), so I better quit for tonight and start studying. Later!

Luke 8 Months

2009-01-07T21:21:00.001-05:00

Luke Crawling
Originally uploaded by Jenmomma

Today Luke is 8 months old. It's been a busy month for him! Of course our biggest milestone is crawling. He really just army crawls (see video evidence), but today he really seemed to be trying to get the hands and knee thing down. He can really get to anything he wants and is very happy about it. He's also grabbing onto things and trying to pull himself up. Not really successful yet, but I think that will come soon.

Other big milestone was his first tooth has broke the skin. Still not completely in yet, but you can see it if he'll let you get his mouth open and tounge out of the way.

We also are officially done breastfeeding. I hadn't nursed at all since before Christmas, but once last week, Luke had a rough patch overnight and I went to his room and held him in the rocker. I decided to offer the breast and he latched on for a few seconds then stopped and looked at me and gave me a big smile. Then he tried again for a few more seconds and then stopped and decided to suck his thumb instead. So, I guess that's the end. Amazingly, I haven't been uncomfortable at all. I think I dropped feedings/pumping slowly enough and supplemented even when my supply was dropping, so I never got engorged. A little sad, but hopefully someday there will be another baby and we'll get to do it again.

Another skill I've noticed is that he is picking up items using his thumb and forefinger. He loves to eat "puffs" and can feed them to himself off of his highchair tray.

That's about all that's different from the midmonth update I did a couple weeks ago.

Also, as an FYI, I just figured out how to take video on my digital camera and I may be purchasing a digital camcorder soon, so stay tuned for more videos!

Christmas Morning

2009-01-06T20:22:00.001-05:00

Christmas Morning
Originally uploaded by Jenmomma

Just learned how to upload video to Flickr. Not sure how good the quality is on our camera, but it's better than nothing right? This is a clip of Grace's Christmas morning reaction. Priceless.

Stay tuned tomorrow for a clip of Luke crawling as part of his 8 month old update!

Monday

2009-01-05T22:27:00.003-05:00

So, I promised to post today, so I am. Not much to say though, just spent a good 2 hours tweaking the blog format. I know it doesn't look much different to you, but now it's much easier for me to change any of the sidebar stuff. Now I need to watch a little football, so I'm not the only one in Ohio tonight that has no idea of the score of the OSU/Texas game.

Happy 2009!

2009-01-04T12:20:00.002-05:00

Didn't get to post on the 1st. My parents came in on the 31st and left this morning for our Christmas visit. As always, it was really nice to have them here, but unfortunately this time, we passed around a yucky stomach bug. I think it started with my niece Ashton who was sick on Christmas Day. We went to their house on the 26th for the weekend. When we got back, Grace was sick on Monday morning (vomitted twice and diarreah). She seemed better by the afternoon, but on Wednesday (31st) I felt really icky. I spent the morning nauseous and in the bathroom with other stomach issues. I was zapped of all energy, but still picked up my parents and hung out during the evening (Eric was sleeping all morning and early afternoon after working Tuesday night). New Years Eve we ended up skipping the fondue dinner I planned to make and ordering pizza for everyone else (I couldn't eat). By Thursday, I was feeling better, but we still decided to just hang out at home and we made our fondue dinner. On Friday, we noticed Luke was getting his first tooth! Yay! And we also went to the mall in the morning to get Grace's 4 year pictures taken, then after naps, Grace, Grandma, Grandpa and I, took her to her first movie in the theater (Bolt!). Friday evening Grandpa started feeling a bit sickly. By Saturday morning, Grandpa and Eric were fighting over the bathroom with both kinds of stomach issues. Grandma, me and the kids went to the library in the morning and hung out in the evening. The guys started feeling better towards the end of Saturday night. This morning, I had a headache and was again nauseous and other things, so I had Eric drive my parents back to the airport and when he got back, I spent a couple more hours in bed. Feeling mostly better now, and everyone else is asleep. So, that was our New Year's weekend.

So, onto 2009. I just wanted to post on the 2008 goals and set up 2009.

2009 Goals for the Year
1. Diet - My 2008 goal was to be at 155 at the end of the year (5 pounds above pre-Luke weight). I regularly weigh-in between 154 and 156, so I'd say close enough. So, for 2009. I would like to lose the last 6 pounds, by my 30th birthday (March 1). If I lose 10 by then, I will allow myself a special treat of a facial before going out for my birthday. If I lose 15, I think I deserve a new outfit too! Nothing too crazy, just want to get the rest of the baby weight off.

2. Finances - 2007 we did great and reduced debt by $15,000. 2008 was a bit tougher considering we had another baby and Eric lost his job at the end of July, but in 2008 we still reduced our total debt by $4,245 which is better than an increase. We need Eric to get re-employed full time, but even then, I want to set our 2009 reduction goal at $10,000. Although, pretty much as soon as he's working full time again, we need to get rid of his car and get a more reliable one, so that will increase our debt. Hopefully though, he'll get paid enough that we can hit the reduction HARD and still have a decrease even if we get a new (to us, probably will be buying used) car.

3. Classes - I wanted to take 2 classes after maternity leave. That didn't happen. I haven't taken any since Luke. The main reason was to save money and make sure I was available if Eric took an evening job (after he lost his). However, I've regrouped, changed my plans and decided to go for a Nursing Masters program where after only 3 years I'll be a Nurse Practioner (specializing as a Certified Nurse Midwife). So, the 2009 plan will be to do everything needed to start that program in 2010. Including 4 pre-req classes at Columbus State (first one starts this Saturday), the GRE, applications, transcripts, letters of recommendation, all due by the December 1, 2009 application deadline.

4. Blogging. I really slacked this year. I feel like I missed alot. I am going to make a goal to update once a week. The weekend is too hard, so I'm going to shoot for Monday nights. Eric has to work, so I have the house to myself. I will try to update after I put Grace to bed. Either about the week, about the kids or whatever. I miss keeping a journal of my life. Maybe some of you (if anyone still checks in) miss it to.

Ok, that's all for now, I'll try to be back tomorrow for my first Monday post. Right now I need to do another load of laundry while the house is sleeping and maybe try to start paying the bills for this week.

Grace 4 Years Old

2008-12-29T21:19:00.001-05:00

Grace shows off the new Helmet and Elbow Pads
Originally uploaded by Jenmomma

I'm a little late on this update, but yes, Grace turned 4 years old. She is so amazing and wonderful and challenging and frustrating and beautiful and funny and smart and I can't imagine life without her.

So, what can I say about Grace?

Physically, she's a healthy little girl. We didn't have any trips to the doctor (or stitches!) this year, other than the normal check-ups and her speech therapy. At her 4 year old cleft clinic appointment, she passed all exams with flying colors and they made us an appointment for next December. Her 4 year old regular check-up did bring some tears with an unexpected shot, but otherwise she did that great too. I need to check how tall she is, but she was about average. However, she weighs 50 pounds and was in the 94th percentile for weight. Some of it is what she eats and portion sizes (I'm sure), but she also has a fairly muscular/athletic build and is just really solid. She's wearing a size 10 shoe and size 6 clothes.

Developmental
Grace has been fully potty trained for over a year. She can also take care of most of her personal hygeine. She can wash herself in the bath (we still have to do her hair). She can wash her hands by herself after using the restroom (if we could just get flushing down). She brushes her teeth by herself after we put on the toothpaste (she would do that herself, but uses too much). She can brush her hair, but we usually do that for her. She can completely dress and undress herself including shoes, coat, and recently gloves. Sometimes her fashion choices are questionable, but at this point I only require that we dress for the appropriate season.

Grace can recognize all shapes, letters, and numbers. She practices writing letters and can write her own name (first only) and Eric. Although she recognizes my name. She understands the concept of rhyming and is beginning to understand all the sounds the letters make. I think if we worked at it, she could start reading soon. Her coloring skills have made leaps and bounds and she now almost always colors within the lines.

Grace has an active imagination and I catch her pretending and talking with her dolls, ponies, or bath toys. Bedtime is usually between 8:30 and 9 p.m. We begin the process at 8:00, but bedtime depends on how much we play in the bath or how many stories we read. After her bath, she brushes her teeth, puts on her pj's, brushes her hair, and then we usually read 3 stories and go straight to bed. If there is a special situation (visiting a friends house, other family over, etc.) Grace is allowed to have a "pajama party" which means she can go back downstairs after her bath. She love it!

Socially
Grace is the smartest funniest kid I know. She cracks me up with the things she says. She also is a sponge for vocabulary and uses words that I feel are a bit above her age range. Some of my favorite quotes:
1) While describing a dream she had one night, "Grandpa built a contraption for the bit-bug."
2) While getting ready to read stories, "Wait a minute, I just have to get situated first."
3) When throwing fits, "I am very angry at you!" I would have expected "mad."
4) When working on an "object." "This is very difficult."

Sometimes her intelligence is especially hard to deal with. Discipline is a real issue with us. She constantly talks back. When we tell her not to do something, she will say, "but I was just..." or "no, I need to..." It is as if she feels her opinion is just as valid as ours and deserves to be heard. We are consistent that she gets a time-out every time she talks back, but often, she will continue to tell us how she feels even sitting in time out. Other times we make her mad and will get "I am very angry at you. I am going to my room to think about it." I keep telling myself that someday all this self-confidence and assertiveness will make her a stronger and self-sufficient woman, but it is hard at age 4.

Grace is extremely sweet and loving. Around Thanksgiving she often told me, "I am thankful for my family." She also says things like, "Lukey is the best baby in the whole world." "You are the best mommy in the whole world." "Zeus is the best puppy in the whole world." Etc. Even at her birthday party (and Christmas) she would open a gift and say, "I really wanted this" and hug the package. She also requests kisses and hugs by walking up to you and saying, "Kissy?" or "Huggy?" She requires hugs and kisses and being tucked in every night.

I know I've missed tons of the little tiny quirks, but that's the main gist of it. She's an incredible little girl and I'm so glad that we were blessed with her.

Merry Christmas!

2008-12-25T14:07:00.001-05:00

Grace Sets Out Cookies and Chocolate Milk for Santa
Originally uploaded by Jenmomma

We had a good one. Click the picture to go to Flickr and see the rest of the photos from Christmas morning (and Christmas Eve if you go backwards).

Hope everyone out there had a Merry Christmas too.

Crawl

2008-12-23T18:52:00.002-05:00

Eric called me at work today to tell me that Luke crawled about 2 feet today. He said it was probably an accident, but a combination of getting his feet planted and subsequently his knees underneath him resulted in him being on all 4's for the first time. He seemed surprised, but decided to move a leg and arm and lunge forward and had his first forward motion.

I still haven't seen it yet, but I am guessing over the next 2 weeks or so he'll start to get the hang of this. I guess I need to go get a gate for the top of the stairs soon.

Luke - 7 1/2 Month Update

2008-12-22T20:28:00.001-05:00

Luke
Originally uploaded by Jenmomma

So, I missed the 7-Month update and we're not quite 8 months yet, so I'll do a mid-month one. Grace's 4 year update next.

So, Luke is still completely awesome. As you can see in the picture, he's a little orange, which I've been told is from eating all those carrots, squash and sweet potatos! So here's Luke's milestones:

Physical
- Sitting - Luke is very good at sitting unsupported now. He got this down about a week after he turned 6 months. He will sit for long periods of time when playing and can ride in a grocery cart or sit in a restaurant high chair now. When he's had enough he just leans to the side and topples over.
- We did end up switching to a regular carseat which is nicer than carrying the infant carrier, but now we have to wrestle with a coat.
- He has grown more attached to his teddy and monkey, but really likes about anything soft.
- Luke's favorite game is to take off (and then chew on) his socks. He rarely has socks on in the house for that reason and I always have to put at least one sock back on after any time in the car.
- He will stand if you hold onto him, but doesn't seem to want to bounce or have any desire to pull or hold himself upright.
- Luke still loves playing on the floor and I think anytime will learn to crawl. He trys to army crawl and really stretches to get to things. He pivots and turns really well, just hasn't quite figured out forward motion. But oh he wants to. In fact he's just a bit more cranky because of it.
- His hand/eye coordination is very good. He reaches, picks things up, will transfer from hand to hand, objects if something is taken away, and can even pick up small items now.
- He loves games like peekaboo and loves to be tickled or "eaten."
- He still laughes alot and likes to babble and hear himself make the strangest noises.
- Lately we're getting some angry cries when we take away something or if we aren't fast enough with the food.

Eating
Moving on to food... Over the last 6 weeks we've progressed a lot.
- Nursing is coming to an end. I dropped another pumping session at work to once per day and then a week later dropped that one and just was nursing at night and in the morning. Then I started supplementing at night after nursing. Lately, I've dropped the evening nursing session and this week am starting to skip any morning nursing session if I'm not uncomfortable. I'm guessing we'll be done by the first of the year.
- Formula - Luke has no problems with formula and now has a part of a bottle in the morning after nursing or instead. Two during the day and one in the evening. Usually about 6 ounces at each feeding.
- Cereal - This weekend we started adding cereal after the morning bottle and sometimes if he's still hungry he gets some at lunch time with his fruit.
- Baby Food - We've moved to Stage 2 foods and he eats a fruit at lunch and a veggie or meat and a fruit at dinner.
- He also has started eating "puffs" as an appetizer while I am getting his meals ready and he waits in the highchair.
- We've let Luke try some table foods too. He ate a pancake a couple weeks ago and last weekend ate 1/2 a biscuit. He's also fed himself saltines.
- We've introduced the sippy cup, but he's not great at it yet, but he does try to hold his bottle, so we're getting there.

Sleeping
- Finally, we're sleeping all night. Funny, it corresponded with when I started supplementing with formula after his evening nursing session. I think he just wasn't quite full enough to last all night. He now goes to bed around 7:30 and sleeps until I get him up between 7 and 7:30 on weekdays or around 8:30 on weekends.
- Napping. He normally naps about 30 minutes in the morning and 1 1/2 hours in the afternoon. However, on weekends, I can usually get the afternoon nap to last a bit longer.

That's all I can think of at the moment. He's such a sweet heart and everyone loves him. He's still incredibly social and smilely. Just want to eat him up sometimes :)

Six Months Old

2008-11-06T22:03:00.001-05:00

Luke After some Sweet Potatos
Originally uploaded by Jenmomma

Luke is now 6 months old. He is such a sweet and happy baby. He smiles at virtually anyone that speaks to him or makes eye contact. He laughes often and he adores Grace. She is so good at making him laugh and he just loves to stare and watch whatever she is doing. Just this weekend, Grace was singing songs in the car and Luke just stared at her and smiled the whole way home from Indiana.

Today he had his six month checkup and weighed in at 21 pounds 8 ounces (97th percentile, yay, he's back on the chart). 27 inches long (just above 50th percentile).

Developmentally, he seems to have very good hand/eye coordination. He is very interested in grabbing objects and works to get to toys on the floor or anything within reach if he's sitting, etc. He doesn't quite sit unsupported yet. We're working on it, mostly because as soon as he can sit on his own (in the cart or a restaurant high chair) we'll ditch the baby carrier. He sometimes can sit for a few moments, but quickly falls to the side. He has great upper body strength and loves playing on his belly on the floor. As I said, he will roll, stretch and scoot to get to anything he sets his eyes on. He easily rolls both front to back and back to belly.

Luke doesn't really have a "comfort object." He is definately a thumb sucker and he does have a teddy bear and stuffed monkey that he loves to chew on and wrestle with, but he never seems to miss them if we don't have one with us. He does not use a pacifier at all.

Sleeping could be better. He's kind of hit or miss. He has on a few occassions slept for 12 hours, but he also has nights that he wakes every 3 hours. Most nights he wakes sometime between 1 and 3 a.m. We still aren't "sleep training" him, because he just eats and goes back to bed. He does sleep in his crib full time now. He goes down while's he's awake and when he wakes to feed, I bring him to my bed, but as soon as he's done (or the next time I wake up, usually no more than 30 minutes) I take him back to his crib. Hopefully, this will just continue to get better.

Eating. Luke dropped a bottle at Amy's, so he only has 2 bottles during the day now. He nurses in the morning and once after we get home (and any time he wakes over night). Currently, we're working towards giving him cereal mid-morning, starting next week we'll do fruits at lunch, and he's been eating a veggie & fruit at dinner for about 2 weeks now. Luke LOVES his baby food. Over the next three months we're to keep adding foods and should get to finger foods by our next appointment. Honestly, I'm not really sure how much longer the nursing will last. Pumping is getting very tiring. I don't get uncomfortable when I don't pump for several hours, so it's easy to "forget" during the day if I get busy or if I'm not in a convenient spot. I am barely making enough for the next days meals. However, on the weekends and when I'm with Luke, I still enjoy it. I guess I'll continue to play it by ear, but I won't be too disappointed if I need to supplement with formula when I'm not with him. I'd prefer not to buy it very often, however, because it is nice to have a free food source.

According to what to expect, we've hit the following milestones:
Should be able to....
- keep head level with body when pulled to sitting
- say ah-goo or similar vowel-consonant combinations

Will probably be able to...
- Bear some weight on legs when held upright

May possibly be able to...
- stand holding on to someone or something
- object if you try to take a toy away
- work to get a toy out of reach
- look for a dropped object
- rake a raisin and pick it up in fist
- turn in the direction of a voice

Grace & Luke - Halloween 2008

2008-11-03T20:27:00.001-05:00

Grace & Luke - Halloween 2008
Originally uploaded by Jenmomma

Just wanted to get a photo up from Halloween (click to go to Flickr and see the rest). Halloween was awesome this year as Grace was really into it. And while she loved getting candy, she remembered her manners and said "Trick or Treat" when she walked up to a house (rather than running up with her pail/bag open and waiting), and said "Thank you" to everyone who gave her a treat. Luke pretty much slept in the stroller.

I promise later this week to do a 6-month update on Luke (I missed his 5 month update, so can't miss this one). And if I can find some free time, I'd love to do a long rambling post on some of the events we've had going on since August or so. Wish I had more time to update here, but Grace is in the bath and I need to get her to bed before waking up Eric for his night job (more on that if I get around to a long post) and I need to update my budget and pay some bills tonight.

Luke's Dr. appointment is on Thursday, so I'll try to update Thursday night.

Another Milestone

2008-10-05T21:35:00.002-05:00

Just so I don't forget to put this one in the baby book... Luke figured out how to roll the other way today. He's been rolling from back to belly for a while now, but never figured out how to go from belly to back. I think he did it about a week ago, but I didn't actually see it.

This morning he was hanging out on the floor in my bedroom while I was getting ready for church and I saw it happen. He did it a couple more times today too.

Next milestone I'm hoping for is unsupported sitting. I've been working with him, but he still either immediately falls to the side or he leans too far forward and cries because it squishes his tummy. Today, I pulled the "Jumperoo" out of the basement and he seems to like it although he hasn't figured out how to actual jump yet. Hope to update later this week with an official 5 month update.

Sleeping

2008-10-04T20:32:00.002-05:00

So, I have been VERY busy the last month or two. Lots of traveling for personal and family events, work is busier than I ever remember it, and we're still operating on one income, so lots of stress. I have lots of good memories of the recent events and even pictures to download, but not really enough time to do it tonight.

What I do want to talk about is the fact that Luke is "almost" sleeping through the night. His path has been so much different than Grace's. I never did what the Dr. said and start giving him a bottle of water when he wakes up, but he still seems to be moving that way on his own. He has been going to bed in his crib on his own for a while now. Lately, I've been making an effort to put him back in his crib after he comes to my bed for a late night feeding. Often (98% of the time) I fall asleep while he's eating, but usually wake up about 45 minutes later then I get up and take him back to his bed.

He has now, however, slept through the night 2 1/2 times. Most other nights, he's still waking once around 10:30-11:30 (he goes to bed usually between 7 and 7:30) and then again around 3 a.m.

The first time was about 3 weeks ago. It was Sunday night, September 14th. I remember because it was the day we had a big power outage because of the tail end of Hurricane Ike (yes, I live in Ohio, but still was out of power for 3 days). Our power was out, so we went out to dinner and didn't get the kids to bed until about 9 p.m. I didn't have the baby monitor (it plugs in), so I left both Luke's door and my door open. I woke around 3 a.m. feeling very "full" and then woke on and off until I finally woke him up at 7:00 a.m.

That seemed to be a fluke, however, because nothing similar until Wednesday night last week (the 1/2 I was talking about above). Luke went to bed around 7, I went to be at 11:30. Luke woke at 12:30 a.m., so I brought him to bed with me to feed him. I must have been really tired, because I fell back asleep until 3:45 a.m. Then I woke up and took him back to his crib. He made a couple of noises (might have been able to put himself back to sleep) and I jumped up and grabbed him. I needed to move the nursing schedule a bit because I was traveling for a work meeting, so the 5 a.m. feeding time seemed better than our normal 7 a.m. start time.

Last night, however, was a real 100% success. Again, Luke in bed at 7. I stayed up later than I should have (1:00 a.m.) and as I was heading up to bed, Luke started making noises (his first of the evening). I went ahead and changed into my pjs, took out my contacts, etc. and by this time, the noises had stopped, so I decided to get into bed and wait. Next thing I know, it's 5:00 a.m. and I'm waking up to get Luke for the first time. I fed him and put him back in his crib and he let me sleep in until 8 a.m.! While 5 a.m. is still early for me, I think 10 hours counts as sleeping all night.

His process has been so different than Grace's. While she was sleeping 12 hours by this time, we had to do the CIO (Cry It Out) method to get her there. Luke is taking a bit longer, but I've never let him "cry" longer than 2 or 3 minutes over night. He just is more laid back anyway and it's not much work to get up with him overnight, since it only interrupts my sleep for a couple minutes at a time, so I'm ok with letting him get there on his own. I can say that since he does seem to be getting there. If he wasn't making progress towards eliminating the night wakings, I'd be fine with letting him cry a bit too. Momma needs her sleep, especially with as much time as I've been spending working.

Ok, more stuff to do tonight and it's already 10 (Grace isn't even in bed yet!)

3 Years Ago

2008-09-23T19:10:00.002-05:00

Three years ago today, I got a call that would change my life.

All things being said, I can't complain. Today, I am healthy (just waiting on Dr. L to confirm tomorrow at my check-up). I've moved on with my life. I even had another baby since that fateful day when I didn't know if it would ever happen.

My treatments are a distant memory and thinking back I just remember all the good things that have came out of it and how much I think I've improved as a human being. To be honest, most days cancer doesn't even enter my mind. And that's a good thing for me.

That being said, I hope I learned what I needed to from cancer. I'd rather not do it again.

Three years cancer free. Let's shoot for another sixty.

4 Months

2008-09-09T18:49:00.001-05:00

First time in the Exersaucer
Originally uploaded by Jenmomma

My little one is now 4 months old. Wow time flies even faster the second time around. Yesterday he had his doctor check-up and passed with flying colors. He was 26 inches long (75th percentile) and was a whopping 18 pounds 12 ounces (off the top of the growth chart). He got 5 vaccines (narrowed down to only 2 shots). He look startled after the first one and then screamed after the 2nd one and according to Amy was cranky the rest of the day, even after I dosed him with Tylenol.

Discussion with the doctor centered around eating and sleeping. I'm still breastfeeding(pumping at work), but I'm starting to feel like either my supply is dwindling during the work hours or I'm just not letting down as well with the pump. I'm thinking more the latter because I breastfeed exclusively on the weekends and Luke always seems satisfied. However, I'm barely making enough at work to cover the next day's bottles. Some times I only get 2 1/2 or 3 ounces at a pumping (luckily my first pump usually nets around 6 or 7, so I can cover the lower ones). I used to get about 18 ounces a day, now I barely crack 15. I asked about possibly supplementing with formula if my supply dips more. She kind of blew that off and said he's doing great and obviously gaining weight, so not to worry about supplementing. So for now, I'll keep plugging along and if I dip to 13 ounces or less at work, I'll call back to discuss again.

We also discussed nighttimes. Luke isn't sleeping so great and now that's he's bigger and moves alot at night, I'm not sleeping great when he's beside me. That means something has to change. Currently Luke goes to bed between 7 and 7:30 p.m.(last feed at 6:30) I'm ok with this bedtime. Grace went to bed that early for well over her first year and he's definately getting cranky and tired by that time. Most nights (95% of the time) he wakes at 10:30 p.m. on the dot. I usually nurse him downstairs (watching TV) and then take him back upstairs and put him back in the crib when I go to bed between 11 and 11:30. Then he usually wakes around 12:30 p.m. and I go get him and put him in bed with me. I usually can use a pacifier and hold off nursing until he wakes again around 2:30 a.m. Then he usually wakes up between 4:30 and 5 and I nurse him again before we get up at 7. That's a lot of waking. Dr. H tells me that he no longer "needs" to eat overnight. I should still nurse him if he wakes up before I go to bed, but then I should try to get him to just sleep the rest of the night. If I can't pacify him and he acts hungry, I can give him a bottle of water. Over time, that should discourage him from waking just for water. Haven't tried it yet, so we shall see. I'm ready for him to start sleeping 12 hours like his sister used to.

Also, Dr. H said he doesn't need the calories, so no need to start cereal yet. Whoops, guess I didn't mention that we tried it out starting this weekend. I think we may skip that advice and start the cereal anyway. I'm hoping a fuller belly at night might encourage longer stretches of sleep. Tonight he actually did really well with the cereal and managed to keep most of it in his mouth instead of just spitting it back out. We'll see what happens to his sleep.

He's also doing cool stuff like rolling over constantly. Still only back to belly, but hoping the other way soon. He also has now been allowed to play in the exersaucer (see picture). He doesn't love it yet, but he's getting much more interested in the toys. Now when he sits in the bouncy seat, he always grabs the toys. He also has a stuffed bunny/chew toy that he loves to hold and knaw on. I feel like his hand/eye coordination is really good.

He's got a great tempermant and is very smiley. He smiles at anyone who will interact with him and this thrills Grace who gets tons of smiles. She doesn't even mind when he pulls her hair. She also has designated herself to be in charge of rolling Luke to his back every time he rolls to his belly (they did it about 4 times in a row tonight). She's not especially gentle with him, but he's tough and only complains if her hugs are too tight or if she tries holding him with her arm around his neck. She still adores him and is especially excited that we're starting "baby cereal" and will through massive fits if I don't let her help with the spoon.

From "What To Expect the The First Year" here are the milestones we've reached:
Should be Able to:
- On stomach, lift head up 90 degrees
- Laugh out loud (easy to do when you kiss his neck)
- Follow an object in an arc about 6 inches above the face 180 degrees

Will probably be able to:
- Hold head steady when upright
- On stomach, raise chest, supported by arms
- Roll over (one way)
- Grasp a rattle held to backs or tips of fingers
- Pay attention to a raisin or other very small object
- Reach for an object
- Squeal in delight

May possibly be able to:
- Turn in the direction of Mommy's voice
-
May even be able to:
- Bear some weight on legs when held upright

Milestones

2008-08-20T19:53:00.002-05:00

Just a quick update. Two milestones have just occurred.

1. Yesterday Luke rolled over from back to belly for the first time. He is 3 1/2 months (15 weeks). I didn't actually see him do it. Eric and Grace were outside (playing on the swingset and grilling respectively). I had to throw a load of laundry in the dryer and left Luke on the living room floor. When I came back he was on his belly pushing up with his arms. Then he did it again this morning on my bedroom floor while I was doing my makeup in the bathroom. Soon, I'll catch him in action.

2. Today, I started my first postpartum period. Yuck. I was a bit disappointed. I'm still exclusively breastfeeding (and pumping), so I thought it would at least hold off until Luke started solids, but sadly, it has arrived. Good thing we have been faithful regarding birth control. Surprises like this are how people have 2 kids in under a year. (Not that there's anything wrong with that.)

On the job front, Eric is still looking. He had a good interview about 2 weeks ago that he's still waiting to hear on. Should know tomorrow, but when he talked to them on Tuesday they said he's still in consideration. Grace is home with Eric starting this week until he's employed again to save us some money. Also, Eric was denied unemployment (his discharge was considered "for cause"), so he's filed an appeal, but if that doesn't go through, he's going to have to find an evening/weekend job to help out with the funds. We've started tapping into savings, and it will go too fast if he has $0 coming in. Still praying good news tomorrow will mean we don't have to drain much from savings.

Brother & Sister

2008-08-14T20:03:00.001-05:00

Brother & Sister
Originally uploaded by Jenmomma

Luke laughed out loud today. Just once, but it was a real laugh.

I uploaded some pictures. Some random ones, plus some from our weekends with the families.

I really like this picture and I think Luke looks alot like my Dad in this one.

I've got tomorrow off work and am planning on a great weekend. Yay!

Three Months

2008-08-09T18:41:00.002-05:00

I've got pictures to upload, but the camera's downstairs and I don't feel like going to get it. Maybe tomorrow.

Anyway, I wanted to give a three month update on Luke. CANNOT believe he's already three months old. He's so awesome.

From "What To Expect the The First Year" here are the milestones we've reached:
Should be Able to:
- On stomach, lift head up 45 degrees
- Follow an object in an arc about 6 inches above the face past the midline

Will probably be able to:
- Laugh out Loud (he makes a noise with his huge open mouth smiles, but it's not really a true "laugh" or giggle
- On stomach, lift head up 90 degrees
- Bring both hands together (he can even shove them into his mouth)
- Smile spontaneously (today he gave me a cute smile when I asked if he pooped his pants. Little stinker.)
- Follow an object in an arc about 6 inches above the face for 180 degrees

May possibly be able to:
- Hold head steady when upright
- On stomach, raise chest, supported by arms (just for a second at a time)

May even be able to:
- Bear some weight on legs when held upright
- Reach for an object (he's started trying to bat at toys)
- Turn in the direction of a voice, particularly mommy's
- Say ah-goo or similar vowel-consonant combination (he's very vocal compared to Grace at his age)

Everything is going so well with him. He's gotten into a good routine at Amy's and has more good days than bad. I wish he'd nap a little better for her. He usually takes 3 one-hour naps per day. We're still nursing and it's wonderful. Pumping at work can be a pain. Especially when I'm really busy or have meetings, but I do the best I can. We've got a decent stash in the freezer (about 10 bottles) so even if I miss one pumping at work (has happened twice), we've still got enough. Still no formula for him except for those couple ounce bottles when he was jaundiced.

I think he's really growing. Some of his 3-6 month clothes are getting tight. No official weigh-in, but I think he's between 16 and 17 pounds. He's lost a ton of his baby hair, so I can't wait to see it come back in. He's also very strong, today he actually did a mini-sit up. I was holding him in front of me with his feet at my belly and head in my hands elevated about 45 degrees. He managed to get into a sitting position without holding onto anything.

Sleeping still going ok. I need to get tough and put him back in his crib after he eats over night, but I have to admit, I enjoy cuddling with him. I do on occasion though, but he doesn't seem to sleep as well the second half of the night. Still thankful that I put him to bed awake in his crib. It usually takes him about 10 minutes to fall asleep. Sometimes he fusses and I go and help him with his pacifier or just stroke his face, but he rarely cries and never so much that I need to pick him up.

During his awake times, Luke's pretty happy too. He likes watching Grace (and she loves showing off for him), he really enjoys playing on the floor or couch if you are interacting with him close by. He doesn't have to be held constantly, but if you aren't holding him, he still wants to be close to the action and be able to see what you are doing. He smiles, coos, and laughs alot (as long as you are interacting with him). He likes watching moving things too like his crib mobile, the moving part on the baby swing, ceiling fans, etc. He also is intrigued by the mirror and loves his bathtime.

He's such a sweet boy and I'm a little sad that his newborn-ness is gone. I know he'll be running around after his big sister in the blink of an eye.

Beginnings and Endings

2008-08-06T22:13:00.002-05:00

I should be going to bed now, but this post keeps bumping around in my head, so I thought I'd jot a few things down.

We've had a very eventful couple of weeks. We've spent the last two weekends with Eric's family. Two weekends ago, his Dad and girlfriend came in town and we visited the Jazz and Rib Fest and Grace got to play in the hotel swimming pool. Then last weekend we spent a night with his Mom and day and night at his brothers. Again more pool time. Both were very pleasant and relaxing weekends. Luke was exceptionally well behaved on both occassions and Grace has a talent for winning over anyone with her sweetness.

As for the title of my post. This seems to be a time of transitions for us with some new beginnings and new endings. Most of the endings are negative, so I'll start there and end on a happier note.

Endings
1) Most impactful...Eric's job. On July 29th, Eric was officially let go. We kind of saw this coming as they did give him 3 months to try to turn the numbers around, but with today's economy he just couldn't sell enough 11% mortgages to get it done. While this is a negative in the short term (reduced cash flow doesn't fit well in our budget), we have been taking the right steps financially over the last year and a half that we can survive for a short period of time on our savings without making drastic measures or increasing the debt. Also, Eric's hated his job for years, so I think this is just the right push to get him into a better position that will make him happy. He's really throwing himself into it to. It's only been 1 week, but he already had his first interview today at a job he thinks he'd like and it seemed to go well.

2) On July 30th, Grace graduated from speech therapy! Yay! Not only does she now speak incredibly clearly, no more $30 a week co-pays! Now I just have to figure out what to do with the left over money in our flex-spending account. We budgeted for a whole year of speech. I'm thinking I may be getting new glasses and contacts. Maybe a pair of prescription sunglasses for Eric?

3) On a sad note, someone from church that I felt fairly close to passed away on Sunday. While I didn't play on the softball team this year (considering my maternity leave ended over 1/2 way through the season), I did play with him for several years. His wife brought us food when I was going through chemo and was the first person to ever babysit Grace (she came over when I was on maternity leave and had a dentist appointment). He was young (not sure, but less than 45) and had a heart attack at the Sunday softball game. He left behind his wife and two sons (ages ~10 and ~14). It was just so sudden and so tragic. They still haven't sent out notice of the funeral service, so I will have that to attend in the next few days.

Beginnings
Moving on to happier topics...
1) Luke is an awesome sleeper. He's now dropped to just one feeding between 7:30 p.m. and 6:30 a.m. He naps in his crib and on occasion will sleep in the crib all night (when I'm not to lazy to put him back in there after he eats). I'm calling this "beginning" to sleep through the night.

2) Grace will be beginning pre-school soon. In an effort to save money, we gave Amy our 2 week notice for Grace. Luke will still go to her, but until Eric starts working again, he'll stay home with Grace. He should still be able to keep up on the job search with her at home and Amy has agreed to watch her on occassion if Eric has an interview and just needs her for a couple of hours. Once Eric is employed again, we will be sending her back to her previous daycare center which is also a pre-school. I think she really misses the interaction with the other kids her age and will do awesome. She's going to Vacation Bible School this week and having the time of her life.

3) This one isn't mine, but one of my BFF's Danialle is pregnant. She's now had confirmation from the doctor that everything looks great, so we're allowed to start celebrating. She's due in March and has offered to let me be a part of the birth experience if I can get there in time. Of course I will try my hardest. You know how I love births! It's so awesome to watch her in each stage and how she cherishs each moment. I think I was like that with Grace, but sort of took Luke's pregnancy for granted. I love seeing hwo her mentality is already changing into the protective Mommy and I think she'll do great. Makes me reflect on my Mommy skills and realize I should think about them more often to be sure I'm doing the best job I can.

Ok, I really should go to bed, Luke will probably be ready to get up in about 2 hours and I don't usually sleep as well the 2nd half of the night.

4 In a Row

2008-07-27T19:37:00.002-05:00

I'm not trying to jinx us, but the last 4 nights in a row, I have put Luke in his bed awake and he has fallen asleep on his own (without crying). It's so awesome. This was our ultimate goal, but I expected several nights of crying like we had with Grace and I didn't expect to start the sleep training until he was at least 4 months old. I guess this boy may not need to be trained. He's still not going all night yet, but an early bedtime and going down awake is definately a start. The key has been the amazing swaddling blanket. I just bought it last weekend and it's really too small for him (his shoulders don't really sit below the top of the blanket so he gets his arms out easily), but I wrap him up and he settles down immediately.

Other amazing news. He took 3 naps in his crib this weekend. All lasting at least an hour, one was 2 hours. Two were put down while he was awake, but sleepy. So different than Grace.

The overnight thing is getting better too. For the last week or so, he has been stretching the feedings to about 4 hours overnight, meaning he wakes up around 10 or 11 (depending on when his last feeding was) and then again around 2 am and then makes it until 6. However last night, he ate at 10:30 p.m. and then slept until 4 a.m. (in his crib)! Too bad I didn't go to bed until 12:30 a.m. It was awesome and then he went back to sleep until we got up at 8 a.m. (in my bed) Although my boob was complaining. I was so engorged at 8 that I even had to pump a little after he finished his breakfast. So, I'm willing to take this slow, but I love that he's stretching this out on his own. It just feels so natural to let him get into his own routine. Although if he's still waking at night in another 2 or 3 months, we may have to help him out a little.

I just love this little guy.

Thumb Sucker

2008-07-24T19:17:00.001-05:00

Sucking His Thumb
Originally uploaded by Jenmomma

Luke has found his hands and is very attached to his thumb. The nice thing is that if he loses his pacifier, he'll just search for his hand until he finds that thumb and then goes to town. It's kind of cute and convenient!

Things keep improving at Amy's for him as they get used to each other and he starts getting more of a routine. She's even getting him to nap in a crib thanks to her amazing swaddling skills. My skills aren't as great, so I bought a swaddling blanket with the velcro to try it. Works ok except he gets an arm out in about 30 seconds. He's just too long to get his feet in the pocket and his shoulders below the top of the blanket. Oh well, he seems to like it anyway.

He's been getting progressively better at night. He routinely has been falling asleep between 7 and 8 pm. Usually on the couch, but tonight I put him in his crib at 7:45 p.m. (awake) and after one fussy time and I checked on him (didn't pick him up) he fell asleep without even crying. We're at about 35 minutes later and he's still asleep. He's started spacing the evening/overnight feedings to 4 hours regularly and sometimes even 5. Not sure we're close to going all night yet, but hopefully not much longer.

Since he's asleep in the crib, I'm considering trying to keep him there all night. I've been bringing him to bed for his overnight feeding and then just keeping him there. I need to get him used to his crib because as of now, I anticipate that I will have an overnight trip away from him for at least one night in August, a whole weekend in September, and a work trip to Alabama in October. Eric needs to be able to get him to sleep in his bed.

Ok, Grace is in the bathtub and I gotta get her ready for bed. Goodnight!

Back To Work

2008-07-12T08:28:00.002-05:00

I went back to work on Thursday. I think it was a good idea to go back for 2 days before going back for a full week.

The work part was ok. I wasn't overly productive, but I did manage to go through and read the 775 e-mails that were waiting on me. I also had meetings with my manager and another coworker to get back in the loop on what's going on on my accounts. I started putting together my personal open items lists to help get me on track. I still need to get up to speed on my 5 new accounts that I inherited when another coworker left the firm July 1st. I found that I really have to pay attention to the time or I could easily forget to go pump. I'm attempting to pump during Luke's normal feeding times, so I can make his meals for the next day. Monday, I got 4 ounces each time, but Tuesday I got 6 ounces each time! I wonder if that means Luke's going through a growth spurt. I did really miss him though. It's different this time. I think I enjoyed my maternity leave more, so it was harder to go back this time. But, I'm back.

Luke had a rough two days at Amy's. I think they just need to get used to each other and hopefully Luke will start to adjust to a routine to give her a break. The first day, she had trouble getting him to stay awake for the whole bottle and said it took 25 to 30 minutes to feed him. Considering he only nurses for about 10 minutes (or less) and gets his whole meal in, I wondered if he needed a faster flow nipple. I sent the "slow flow" newborn nipples. She also thought he acted hungry alot, but she was trying to keep him to a 3 hour schedule as he'd been on at home. I think over all he was pretty fussy all day. Tuesday I changed the nipples and she said that worked much better. He was able to take the bottle in about 10 minutes and didn't fall asleep. However, she couldn't make him wait 3 hours for any of his feedings. I wonder if he was just hungry because I sent his 4 ounce bottles from Monday, but on Tuesday, I was producing 6 ounces. I decided next week to send an extra frozen bag of milk, so if he acts more hungry, she can just give him more. I also said that if he acts like he can't go 3 hours, just feed him. I find sometimes at home that we only do 2 1/2 if he's hungry. She also said his longest nap on Tuesday was about 45 minutes. I think he just has to get used to the new environment. Even at home if he's fussy, Eric has trouble soothing him, but if I take him, he calms immediately. I think a little more time with Amy should help him get settled and hopefully he'll be less fussy and the happy baby I have at home. (I REALLY hope so.)

So, Friday afternoon I picked up the kids and Amy seemed very cool. We discussed the challenges with Luke and she also mentioned that Grace has seemed a bit jealous and has been acting up to get attention. I mentioned that hopefully this is all just transition and soon things will be easier for everyone. She agreed and said Luke is just still so little that we shouldn't get too caught up on him sticking to a schedule. I said, "You're not going to quit on me are you." She just laughed and said, "Oh, no!" Then I got home and cleaned out the diaper bag and found a note from Amy telling us that as of Monday, she will need to raise our rates by $20 per child per week. I was a little hurt that she couldn't just talk to us about it, but I think she's a bit shy and was probably afraid that she wouldn't be as strong/forecful about it if we talked. In writing she could get her point across. Anyway, it's still a good deal, so I'm sure we'll pay it. It's still about $80 per week (total) cheaper than the daycare center. Although, Grace's rate is now only $15 less than the daycare center. I think we may consider moving her back in the fall, so she can get more of a pre-school curriculum rather than all the "free-play" she gets right now. She's the oldest at Amy's and they don't do much working on pre-school type things and with the little ones, she doesn't get to do craft-type projects because Amy's son still tries to eat crayons, etc. Now that the price difference is $15 per week, rather than $35 per week, it may be worth it. Also, the old daycare and Amy's house are pretty close together, so it wouldn't be that much more hassle to do separate drop-offs and pick-ups.

Our other Friday afternoon news was with Eric. Several of the high-level management team was in his office on Friday doing an audit. I talked to him throughout the day and he thought it was going well. But sometime between 4:30 and 7:30 when he got home, he found out that it's highly likely that he will be fired next week. His district manager will be in the office on Monday to review some of his books and see if his numbers have improved enough, but Eric says that he's 90% sure that they won't be good enough. He was given 3 months to turn around his branch's numbers, but with the current mortgage market, it's been really tough for him to get loans in and he just doesn't think it's going to be good. I'm actually not that upset. Eric's hated his job for years and I think this will be what is has to take for him to go out and figure out that he can have a job that he doesn't dread going to daily. We have enough in savings to keep afloat for probably 6 weeks (although the money was set aside for other things like my school and Christmas shopping), but starting today, we are cutting out all unnecessary spending. No more eating out or blowing money on other things that can wait. Also, cutting out any trips out of town with gas prices high. Hopefully, he'll find something else quickly and we won't have to use much of our savings.

Ok, Luke's ready for his mid-morning meal, so I gotta go!

2 Months Old

2008-07-08T11:01:00.001-05:00

Luke and Grace
Originally uploaded by Jenmomma

As of yesterday, we have been a family of four for 2 months. Relatively speaking, it's been a great two months. Still so much easier than those first two months with Grace. I think some of it is Luke's temperment, but even more important is how relaxed I am. I know that this stage will pass quickly and we'll survive and he's never going to be this small again.

At two months old, Luke can smile. Haven't had a real laugh yet, but I'm guessing that will be soon. He can hold his head upright pretty good without too much wobble. On his belly, he's started using his arms to get part of his chest off the ground and he can lift his head up all the way. He hasn't rolled yet, but he can get to his side from his back. And if I place him on his side, he can roll either back to his back or to his belly, so I'm guessing a real roll isn't too far away. He is very vocal and likes to coo and gurgle at us. I also can tell the difference between some of his crys. Grace just screamed for everything, but Luke's hungry cry is very different from his tired cry or his bored cry. He also seems to be gaining more control of his hands. He can't really aim yet, but he will grab onto shirts, hair or glasses if he gets close enough.

Eating is going well. Luke usually eats every three hours. Some days he reverts to 2 or 2 1/2 hours, but most of the time he goes three. When he does nurse, he's all business. He can get his whole meal in in about 7 minutes. At first I thought maybe he wasn't get enough, but once he pulls off he acts like he has trouble getting latched back on. If I force it and he does go back on, he usually will spit up all over me. So, now when he comes off, I just burp him and he's done. Unfortunately at night he's also still only going about 3 hours. We've had a couple of 4 or 5 hour stretches, but not on a regular basis. Although, I usually feed him around midnight, he wakes around 3 and then again at 6, so that's really only one night waking.

Sleeping is so so. He hasn't really fell into a predictable napping schedule yet. He does usually sleep around 9:30 or 10 am after a longish awake time of an hour or two, but I haven't been putting him in his crib or a bed, so I'm not sure how restful the sleep is. For example, he's napping now, but laying on a blanket on the couch beside me. He does take a 2 to 3 hour nap in the afternoon (around 1 pm), but I will lay down with him and get up after 1 1/2 or 2 hours, so I'm not sure how good this nap will be at the baby sitters. He also usually dozes a bit while I'm getting dinner ready (after his 6 pm feeding), but we have bath time sometime between 7 and 8 pm and then he usually falls asleep until his night time feeding around 9 or 10 pm. Then we head up for bed between 11 and 12 (sometimes I'll wake and feed him again before we go).

I discussed the overnight process with the doctor yesterday and she suggested I start trying to get him to sleep in his crib in his room, so I will be able to judge if he needs to nurse overnight and start working towards sleeping through the night. Grace stopped taking her overnight bottle around 2 months old, so I'm guessing he should be ready soon. He's much bigger than she was at this age. Up until now, I've been putting him in the cosleeper beside the bed when we go to bed. He usually wakes on the trip up the stairs, but will lay quietly until he falls back to sleep (while I play Tetris on my Gameboy and make sure the pacifier is in place until he's asleep). Then we both sleep until his 3 am feeding. At that point I put him in bed with me and nurse him while we both doze. I usually wake up around 4:30 am and realize we both fell asleep. He usually starts figeting (I kind of think it's because we sleep and don't get a good burp after the 3 am feeding) and I cuddle him and give him the pacifier until 6 when I feed him, wake up Eric, and get Grace ready for the babysitter.

Last night we tried the crib. I fed him at 10 p.m. and then took him up to the crib around 11 p.m. I had trouble sleeping in my room without him being an arms length away. Around 1:20 a.m. I heard him start moving and by 1:30 a.m. he let me know he wanted to eat (3 1/2 hours). I went to his room and fed him in the rocker. By 1:45 a.m. he had nursed, had a diaper change, burped, and fallen back to sleep. (That never happened with big sister). I returned him to the crib and headed back to my room. I slept better this time. However, at 4:15 a.m. he woke again. I got up and this time was really sleepy, so I took him back to my room and nursed him in bed. I stayed awake though and put him in the cosleeper when finished and he stayed there until he started fidgeting at 5:30 a.m. and I cuddled him in bed until 6:30 a.m. when I dragged myself out of bed to get the rest of the family ready for their day. Although I did go back to sleep until after the 7:30 a.m. nursing session.

Luke's doctors appointment went well. He's growing well (Ha!). He weighed in at 15 pounds 8 ounces which is off the top of the growth chart. I checked Grace's baby book and she weighed 15 pounds at her 4 month appointment. He was 23 inches long (50th percentile). I didn't think breastfeeding was so important to me, but I really feel proud that he's thriving and he is getting all of his meals from me. Cancer didn't take my life, it didn't take my ability to have a baby, and it didn't take away my ability to breastfeed (although I am lopsided). Luke also got 4 shots and an oral vaccine. He screamed, but stopped quickly and was asleep before we left the doctor.

Grace is still doing awesome with Luke. Sometimes she tries to take him away from me when she wants to hold him. Also, now that he smiles she is constantly in his face. It was very sweet yesterday when I told her that he had shots she wanted to make him feel better. She gave him her giraffe and said he could keep him "forever." She said she didn't need him anymore and that Luke could have him. That's a huge deal. She didn't take giraffe to Amy's today either, so this is progress.

Eric is warming up to Luke too. He's not much of an infant person, so at the beginning (especially because I was breastfeeding) he pretty much left me to take care of Luke and he did more with keeping Grace entertained and getting her ready for bed, etc. I am trying to get him to take Luke more now though because Luke is becoming a momma's boy and I need to know that Eric can soothe him too. I'm supposed to have an overnight trip for work in a few weeks and right now, I'm not sure that I could leave overnight.

As for me, I'm doing well. I had my postpartum checkup and all was well (except I have to wait until 12 weeks to get my IUD back). Breastfeeding is pleasant. I don't pump as much as I should be (to get my reserve supply), but it's nice to know that if I don't feel like pumping, I can still feed my baby today. I have pumped a full feeding twice (while someone else fed him a bottle of previously pumped milk) and I get betwen 4 1/2 and 5 ounces in 10 minutes. Otherwise, I get about 1 to 2 ounces if I pump after he's done eating. We did a trial day hanging out at the babysitters for the morning. I'm going to go back to work on Thursday this week. Hoping that pumping at work will go ok. I also think I may start following the weight watchers plan next week (adding points for breastfeeding). I'm hanging out at 5-7 pounds above pre-pregnancy weight. I'd like to lose about 10 pounds. Well, I'd love to lose 15 to 20, but I'm being realistic and I'd be happy at 10 pounds. To treat myself to going back to work, I went shopping last week and used some left over Christmas gift cards and spent about $50 of my own money. I bought a new pair of work pants (need to hem them), a skirt, a white cami, and 4 other tops, plus a new pair of black slingbacks. Grace flipped out that I didn't buy her any new clothes. She's such a girl.

That's enough for now. I should probably attempt to do something productive today.

Iowa Visit

2008-07-06T21:44:00.001-05:00

Grandpa, Grandma, Grace, Abby and Kitty on the front porch
Originally uploaded by Jenmomma

I've been home for a week, but just getting around to updating about the trip. I've got lots of pictures in Flickr.

We took a trip to Iowa to visit my parents. Eric, Grace, Luke and I left on Thursday morning to fly out. Luke's first plane trip went reasonably well and we made it to Iowa in early afternoon. We went back to my parents house and then Thursday evening went to "Thursday Nights in Pella." Every Thursday in the summer, the community hosts some sort of gathering with booths/vendors, etc. This week was "Inflatables" so Grace had tons of fun jumping in the bouncy house, going down the giant slide etc. Check out the pictures.

I can't really remember what we did on Friday except for grocery shopping and Mom and I and the kids took a trip to the library to get some books for Grace for the week and I got three books which I finished before coming home. Eric spent lots of time fishing and caught lots of big ones (see pictures).

Saturday Eric and I went on a date alone! I pumped while I was there and had enough for a bottle, so Eric and I went to see "What Happens in Vegas" and then to dinner before heading home to find that both kids survived nicely.

Sunday we went to church, Eric did a lot of fishing. We let Grace have a special night. She took her bath and got her PJs on and then got to come downstairs and watch "Enchanted" before going to bed. She LOVED it.

Monday, Eric went home and the rest of us stayed. I can't remember anything else specifically that we did.

Tuesday, we went to the Pella Aquatic Center and went swimming. They had a really nice family/kid area that Grace could play in. They also had some really cool tube slides and an Adventure River. Grace loved the adventure river and I think went on it 6 times with various family members.

Wednesday, my brother had a ceremony to re-enlist in the Army, so we went to his reserve unit in Des Moines to see it. It was really cool and we got to hear lots of compliments about what great work he does. We then had a little detour to the mall and went to dinner.

I don't really remember any other details on Thursday or Friday, except Mom and I went to breakfast on Friday and Dad stayed home with both kiddos. He was a little nervous to have Luke on his own, but I fed him before we left and got home before the next feeding was due, so they did just fine.

Throughout the week Grace had tons of fun with the following activities. Many are captured in the pictures:
- Playing with the cat and dog.
- Picking flowers outside
- Grandpa bought her a motorized Jeep that she drove around the yard
- Riding on the 4-wheeler with Grandpa to see the cows
- Fishing in the pond
- Playing in the kiddie pool in the yard
- Play-doh with Grandma in the sunroom
- She had a picnic lunch with Grandpa one day
- Helping Grandma make cookies for church

Saturday I came home with the kids. It was tough to travel with two kids on my own, but we survived and got home around 9 p.m. I think Eric was glad to see us.

All in all it was a wonderful trip. I definately prefer visiting in the summer. Not nearly as many fun things to do in the winter months. We did have a scary moment the first night. Grace was sleeping in a room upstairs and we left the door open. We showed her where my parents bedroom was in case she needed them. For some reason Grace got up around midnight and was looking for someone (we think), but she wandered into the office instead of my parents bedroom. We think she wasn't used to doors being open, so she tried to open a door. There was a closet door off the hinges leaning against the wall in that room and it fell. Thankfully there was a bookshelf against the other wall and when the door fell it landed on the bookshelf and didn't fall all the way to the floor (or on Grace). It was a big heavy door so that could have been bad news.

Well, the pictures tell most of the story. It was such a good time.

Tomorrow Luke has his 2 month checkup and I hope to update on all his milestones.

Happy Father's Day

2008-06-15T16:36:00.002-05:00

My heart melts. I am currently sitting next to my baby boy who is asleep on the couch with the final round of the US Open (golf) on TV. My husband is playing in the basement with Grace. I hear him doing his best "Baby Jaguar" voice while Grace is organizing an animal rescue (as Diego) from the animal rescue center. Now that's a father. Pretend playing in the basement with his daughter instead of watching golf during his Father's Day.

I hope the rest of the father's out there are enjoying their day, too.

One Month Check Up

2008-06-09T20:03:00.002-05:00

Luke had his 1 month checkup today. He weighed in at a healthy 12 pounds 12 ounces and 22 1/2 inches long. Still in the 95+ percentile for weight and about 75% for height. He also had his 2nd HepB vaccination and he did not enjoy that.

Otherwise we discussed with the doctor trying to work on spreading out his feeding schedule to every 3 hours during the day and working on 4 or more at night. Right now he's still closer to every 2 hours during the day unless he takes a long nap and only goes about 3 hours at night. We also discussed my plans for continuting breastfeeding and pumping when I go back to work. We'll discuss again at his 2 month appointment which is the week before I return to work. That gives me one more month to get us in a routine that will work for us after I go back. Personally, I hope that routine includes more sleeping at night as I'll lose my afternoon nap.

Luke also has a umbilical hernia. It's nothing really to worry about. His belly button just bulges outwards a little, especially when he cries. The doctor said the muscles in the abdomen just haven't closed together yet. It's likely to resolve itself over time.

Other than that not much to report. He looks good and is doing well for a one month old. I will work on getting pictures up soon. I'm sure we've taken some good ones over the last month...

Crying?

2008-06-03T09:31:00.002-05:00

So, any advice on what to do with a baby that cries when you aren't holding him? This even occurs at night. We have been sleeping most nights with Luke in bed with me as he wants to be held. When I put him down in the cosleeper, he wakes and fusses about every 5 to 10 minutes. When I put him in bed next to me we can sleep for about 3 hours (as long as I don't want to move or roll over).

During the day, he cries if I try to put him in the swing or bouncy seat when awake after just a couple of minutes (I can get about 1/2 way through a shower). If he falls asleep and I put him down he'll sleep for a short time, but not for a long time. He doesn't mind laying on a blanket on the floor (either on his back or belly), but again just for a few minutes at a time.

If I do put him in the swing or bouncy seat and he gets tired of it, he will scream bloody murder, but as soon as I pick him up, he completely stops crying. He just likes to be held. It's not such a big deal right now when I'm home, but I don't know what this will mean for Amy when I go back to work. She'll be watching Grace, a 2 year old, her 20 month old, and my baby. She can't very well hold Luke all day and I've got to get him to nap while laying in a pack'n'play or crib.

Any suggestions?

3 Weeks

2008-05-28T18:39:00.002-05:00

I can't believe Luke is 3 weeks old already. I know I'm going to miss alot in this update.

First of all, I have to say this new motherhood thing is easier the 2nd time around. I think a big part of it is that I'm not nearly as nervous about things and know that for the most part, I can't screw things up too bad. Eric and I also have decided that at least the first few weeks are "survival mode", so we're not getting worked up about setting routines or anything like that yet. I'm also, amazingly, not documenting everything. I am not keeping track of what's in each diaper, how often they are changed, all the feedings, number of hours slept, etc. I try to keep in mind a general idea of the last time he ate, just so I know when he cries if it's likely he's hungry. Anyway, it's either our attitudes, he's an easier baby, or some other factor, but I'm much happier this time. By happier, I mean no hints of post-partum depression. I've only cried 2 or 3 times since we've been home. Compared to every day for the first 6 weeks with Grace.

When we checked out of the hospital, Luke's discharge weight was 9 pounds 15 ounces. We were told that he needed to be at his discharge weight at the 5-7 day weight check and back to birth weight at 2 weeks. We did a weight check appointment at 6 days and he had lost weight and was down to 9 pounds 12 ounces. Also at that appointment the doctor thought he looked a little jaundiced, so she took some blood to see if we needed to do anything regarding treatment. We got a call that afternoon that his bilirubin levels were high, so they had a "Wallaby" blanket delivered that we had to have Luke hooked up to until his weight recheck on Thursday (about 36 hours). Having him hooked up to the blanket was a real challenge because while we could hold and feed him, the blanket had to stay plugged in at all times, so we were pretty much confined to the swing and rocking chair and then at night, I plugged him in next to the bed and cosleeper. Luckily on Thursday when they rechecked him, he was better, so we got to keep him off of it for good. Regarding the weight issue, we supplemented with formula after a couple of feedings (just 1 or 2 ounces) for a couple days and at the recheck 2 days later, Luke gained 9 ounces and was back up to 10 pounds 5 ounces, so all was good.

Regarding feeding. We have pretty much been exclusively breastfeeding. Luke was a natural and latched on in the delivery room. On the 2nd day, I had a lactation consultant come visit and she recommended that I keep trying him on both breasts and that I get a pump to try to get the right side stimulated. Luke wasn't really interested in the right side as the nipple is much flatter and just not as "ready" for feeding. They brought me a pump that evening and after a feeding, I hooked up and pumped for about 10 minutes. The left side gave us some more colustrum, but the right side didn't produce a drop. That 10 minutes with the pump brought back so many negative memories from my experience with Grace, so a couple hours later after our next feeding when it was time to pump, I just said "no." I decided I can deal with one breast only and I'm not going to torture myself with pumping again. I'd rather use formula. Except for those couple of days when we've supplemented after a feeding, I've been exclusively breastfeeding on the left side. At our 2 week appointment Luke had regained his birthweight and he seems content after each feeding and eats every 2 to 3 hours, so I think we're doing just fine. I can give him all the credit though, because it's been relatively easy. I haven't had cracked or bleeding nipples, he immediately latches on and doesn't ususually fall asleep while eating. He gets a full meal in about 10 to 15 minutes and we've even fed in public. I think not being stressed about how to feed him helped. I wasn't against formula, but since breastfeeding is working and mostly enjoyable, I'm going with it. I especially like that I don't have to actually "get up" over night. I just prop myself up with pillows in bed, get him out of the cosleeper and when he's done I try to put him back and go back to sleep. No bottles to prepare or warm up, just need me and him. I'm not sure how I'll handle things when we go back to work. I just bought a manual pump that I'm going to try out next week after feedings. I didn't really want to pay a bunch of money for a electric double pump for work, but if possible, it would be nice to pump at work, so he can still have breastmilk during the day at Amy's. The other option would be to give him formula during the day, so I don't have to pump, but I'm concerned that would negatively effect my supply for the other feedings, so I'll have to see. I may have to pay for a better pump, but I'm going to give it a try for 2 weeks at home before we go to Iowa to visit.

Sleeping is interesting. Not sure why, but I am not nearly as exhausted as I remember being with Grace. We've been trying to have Luke sleep in a cosleeper that I borrowed from Samara. It's nice to have him so close at night when he needs to eat. Especially since he fusses and grunts a bit before he cries, so most of the time I can get him started eating before he is actually crying. Although lately, he refuses to sleep unless he's being held or next to me, so I've been sleeping while holding him or laying next to him in bed. I am not giving up on the cosleeper yet, but again, this is survival time. We can undo any of these bad habits later. On a brighter note, we're starting to get longer stretches at night. He was only going 2 to 3 hours even at night, but this week we've had a couple stretches closer to 4 hours and he will do 3 hours easier. We even had one night that went from 11 p.m. to 3:50 a.m., so that one was great. Hopefully, a bigger baby will start sleeping though the night sooner, but I feel pretty good overall, so I'm not going to complain much.

I'm still not sure what to do with him when he's awake. He will sit in the swing or bouncy seat while awake for 10 minutes or so, but other than that he likes to be held alot. He's getting used to the sling, because I can't just hold him all day. He'll also lay on my lap while I'm typing (what we're doing right now). He does like tummy time too, so we'll get on the floor on a blanket. I'm ready for him to start interacting more and can't wait until we get the awake smiles. Grace will like that too. She likes to make silly faces at him and gets sad when he doesn't laugh or smile at her. We keep telling her he's still too little, but I think it'll be good for her when he can respond.

That's all I can think of at the moment. I'm pretty sure there's a diaper to change, so I should go take care of that and get a snack before I go pick up Grace.

Luke's Birth Story

2008-05-15T19:51:00.001-05:00

Luke and Mom
Originally uploaded by Jenmomma

Details are already getting fuzzy, so I thought I should try to get this in writing. Here is the story on how Luke made his way into the world.

Our induction was scheduled for 6:00 a.m. That is really early though, so of course I slept about 10 minutes longer than I should have, so we were running late. Grace heard everyone showering, so she was also up by 5:30 a.m. and ready to start her day with Nana. I knew I wouldn't be able to eat, so I made a bagel with cream cheese for the road. Eric had to stop for coffee, but we still made good time and got up to Labor and Delivery at about 6:10 a.m. We were taken to our room and the nurse took down all my history, took some blood, started my IV and checked me to see where we were starting. Still no change from the previous appointment (about 2 cm and 60-70% effaced).

They went ahead and started my Pitocin around 7 a.m. and were waiting on a resident or my doctor to come in to break my water. Contractions started up, but were managable. We had lots of discussion about how long labor would take. My Mom and Eric both thought it would be late evening around 8 or 9 p.m. My guess was 3:10 p.m. Samara had guessed the day before and said 1:55 p.m. The nurse seemed to think we'd be done by the time her shift ended at 3 p.m. Finally, around 8 a.m. they tracked down a resident to break my water. It was different than having it break on it's own. Grace's was more of a trickle where this time it seemed like tons more any time I moved.

Samara came in around 8:30 a.m. to join the party. I didn't write down all the times and such, but I know my contractions got stronger after my water broke and I moved to the rocking chair so I wouldn't be confined to the bed. I knew once I got my epidural that I'd have to get back in bed. I got checked after an hour or so and was at 3 cm. The nurse started asking if I was ready for my epidural. I felt like a wuss. The contractions were strong, but managable, but I knew eventually I'd want the epidural and I didn't want to "need" it and have to wait a long time, so I agreed to go ahead and get it. With Grace I was at 6 cm before I got it, so I felt like I was wimping out a bit, but I knew I'd get it eventually, so whatever.

I know I got checked 2 more times and was at 4 cm both times. That made me a bit sad, because the 2nd time was still around noon and I started thinking it was going to take a really long time. The good news was that with my epidural they could dial up the Pitocin and I really couldn't feel it. Over the next 2 hours or so, things got more interesting. When they checked me, they had a really hard time telling how far I was dialated. The best explanation the nurse could give me was that his head was coming down at a slight angle so the cervix was dialting uniformly. At one point she said she'd call me 6 cm, but it was more like a face of a clock. Where the 8 o'clock to 12 o'clock was covered, but the rest was completely open. At this point I was really starting to feel a lot of pressure, but again, I was only fully dialated on part of the cervix.

Also, fairly early on, my nurse said that in anticipation of a possible complicated delivery, my doctor was requesting that no one be in the room with me other than Eric. The nurse was going to see if she could let Mom and Samara stand back near the doorway, so if things got hairy they could just exit without getting in the way, but it was going to be the doctors decision.

Finally, as it started nearing 3:00 p.m. (probably between 2:30 and 2:45 p.m.), my nurse decided to let me have a trial push to see if I could push past the rest of the cervix and get to fully dialated. It worked and she immediately had me stop, so she could call the doctor over. Dr. B arrived in minutes and got set up. She confirmed that she wanted only Eric in the room, as she was going to have an extra resident doctor, an extra nurse, plus the Special Care nursery nurses in the room, just in case. They also got a stool ready to help them get up onto my bed if they needed to push from above and showed Eric where to stand if they needed to move him.

Mom and Samara exited the room at 3:00 p.m. and it was time to get started. I wasn't feeling any pain, but I did feel extreme pressure with every contraction. I started pushing and within 2 or maybe 3 contractions, we were ready to deliver his head. (Funny story, at this point, I was still getting kicks from little Luke.) Dr. B said that as soon as his head came out, she would check the cord, suction as needed, but have me go ahead and continue to push to see if we could just ease the shoulders on out before they had a chance to turn. So the next push came. I closed my eyes and pushed. His head delivered and then I heard Dr. B tell the nurse to hit the call button. I still had my eyes closed but suddenly the room seemed to fill with even more people. Dr. B was giving orders to people and I had to listen carefully about when to push and when not to as they had to manouver to get my little man out. A big male doctor had come in and was doing the pushing from above. Dr. B apparently reached in (don't ask me how that happened, my eyes were closed), she turned his shoulder and pulled him out.

I felt him come out and opened my eyes to see Dr. B catch him and go down to the floor. Apparently he was very slippery and she didn't want to drop him. They immediately handed him over to the Special Care nursery unit to see if he had movement in both arms or a broken clavical. I didn't get to see him or hold him first and Eric didn't get to cut the cord. At that point things slowed down a little. His birth was announced at 3:18 p.m. (quite a busy 18 minutes). He quickly showed movement in both arms and no broken bones, although his forehead was pretty banged up. I also only needed 1 stitch to fix me up.

I asked Dr. B if we had another shoulder issue and she laughed and said, "Oh yeah, that was the 2nd worst one I've ever had to deliver." Looking around the room, our estimate was 4 doctors and at least 6 nurses in attendence for the birth. Once he was being checked, I heard someone say, that doesn't look like a 9 pound baby. Our main nurse went to go get Mom and Samara from the waiting room. Once they were all back, we weighed in and saw the result, 10 pounds, 8 ounces. I just laughed. I guess I shouldn't have been worried about delivering a little 7 pound baby because we went 2 1/2 weeks early.

Once I finally got to hold him, Luke immediately started rooting, so we did our first breastfeeding session in the delivery room. He latched on immediately and hasn't really detached since (joke).

So, that's the birth story. A lot has happened this week and I want to give more thoughts on his personality, but I have a feeling he's going to need fed soon. More to come later!

Luke Is Here

2008-05-10T16:03:00.001-05:00

Sleepy Baby
Originally uploaded by Jenmomma

Sorry it took a while to get updated, but you know how it is coming home from the hospital and everything. I'm not sure I have time for the complete birthstory right now. I think I'll work on that one next week when most of the visitors are gone.

Short story, I went to get induced as planned on Wednesday. I did get an epidural. He was born at 3:18 p.m. on Wednesday. We were surprised that he exceeded weight estimates and weighed in at a very healthy 10 pounds 8 ounces. Yeah, he was big. He was 22 inches long. I have a feeling we would have had a c-section if the doctor would have thought for a moment he was going to be that large.

It was another difficult delivery. My doctor was prepared for the worst, however, and although we had another case of shoulder dystosia (according to the doctor, the 2nd worst she'd ever had to deliver), he made it out safely and is in perfect condtion. Amazingly though, even though he was so big, I only pushed for about 15 minutes and I think he was stuck for less than 2 minutes. I only had 1 stitch and now 3 days postpartum am much less sore than I remember being with Grace.

We are working on breastfeeding and he latches on like a champ. We'll do a weight check on Monday to be sure he's getting enough, but he seems like he's doing good and he's interested about every 2 hours and seems content when he comes off, so that's good. He's also very calm. He gives plenty of cues when he starts fussing that we usually can get him hooked up with his next meal before he's actually "crying." Although, he despises diaper changes.

Pretty sure my milk is in as there is now a noticable difference in the breast size between the right and left. I think I'll have to get fitted for a special bra with some stuffing to look a little more even.

Again, I'll have to work on a post on the actual labor and delivery because it was a whirlwind and especially the delivery was a bit crazy and not exactly what I planned, (example, they wouldn't let my Mom or Samara stay in the room when I was ready to start pushing). He's gorgeous and looks just like his sister. I'm already in love.

37 Weeks & Amnio

2008-05-06T18:23:00.002-05:00

Last Friday I had my 37 week doctor check up. No surprises. According to them, I didn't gain weight over the week and a half, so my final doctor check-up weight-gain is 28 pounds. Although, my personal scale shows about 32 pounds. Heartrate was good in the high 140's. Blood pressure normal. No real cervical change from last time. Still at 2cm and this time she said about 60% effaced. She said that I was "inducable" meaning that they would expect my cervix to continue changing with Pitocin. They confirmed a 6 a.m. induction time for Wednesday, May 7th and said they'll break my water and start my Pitocin. Although she warned me that she had just recently had to postpone an induction because the lungs weren't ready. If Luke wasn't ready, she said we'd move the induction to the following week. That bummed me out a little because I really had my heart set on getting this done soon.

The weekend was nice with Mom here and we made it to Samara's birthday dinner and Ava's birthday party. We also got about 10 days to 2 weeks worth of groceries, so we don't have to try to venture out next weekend.

I worked Monday and a half day today. Yesterday kind of stunk because I had my Mom take my car to the dealership for an oil change and to get my air conditioning fixed (I already had purchased the part, so no charge). However, they seemed to feel my car was in desperate need of some maintenance if I plan to keep it for any period of time. I managed to get out of there for just over $500 and a promise to buy 4 new tires in the next couple of weeks (whenever that stimulus check shows up!).

We also had a showing Friday, Monday, and today, so that was a little stressful figuring out how to get Mom out of the house and this weekend we set up the pack-n-play downstairs for a diaper changing/napping station and got the swing out of the basement, so the house is definately more cluttered.

Today my amnio was scheduled for 1 p.m. Mom and Eric came with me. I got the same ultrasound tech as last time and she spent a good 45 minutes looking at the baby again and took more measurements for size. She said his head "isn't too big", however, his belly measurement is off the chart, meaning over the 42 week gestation. She also said his femur measurement was on the big side, but again, not too alarming. This time, her weight estimate has us at 9 pounds 1 ounce, so looks like he slowed down the growth a bit. I'm still skeptical that he's that big already, but I guess we'll see. After she finished and got us some more 3D pictures of his face, the doctor and nurse came in to do the amnio. The doctor said it would feel about like a blood draw. I think he lied. It hurt. Not the worst pain I ever had, but for a couple hours afterwards it was still really sore and achy. Once they got the fluid, they had me rest and monitored the baby for about 45 minutes to an hour. They told me they'd call with the results and took down my cell phone number. We were waiting in the lobby on the elevator and someone came out and said they wanted to see me again. We went back in and they said the results came back. His lungs are mature!

So, the induction is on for tomorrow morning. I'm really excited, although it just kind of hit me that this is our last night with just Grace. I don't expect anyone will update my blog while I'm gone, but I should be home on Friday (barring any complications) and I'll at least get a picture downloaded and the basic stats. Can't believe it's finally here.

More Updates

2008-04-30T18:48:00.002-05:00

So, yesterday we did another trial run to the Labor and Delivery department. I was very crampy/tightening etc. on Monday evening. I didn't really time anything, but I did check the clock on the last couple and it was in the 5 minute range, so I decided to just go to bed. I figured if it were the real thing, I'd wake up before I delivered. Overnight was fine (except for 4 trips to the bathroom to pee), but Tuesday I still felt really crampy/contractiony all morning. Once I got settled in at work, I decided to time them starting around 8:50. I spoke to a couple coworkers because they were strong enough that when I'd get one at my desk, I would just close my eyes, rub my belly and breathe slowly until it eased up. If I happened to be talking to someone, I'd have to stop in the middle of the sentence until the worst past. I promised to track things for an hour or so before calling the doctor. They seemed to be about 4-7 minutes apart, with a few coming in around 9 or 10 minutes. I agreed to call the doctor and when I told them I'd had 11 between 9:30 and 10:30, they told me to go to L&D. Everyone at work got all worked up and two girls drove me to my house to drop off my car and grab my hospital bags and then to the hospital. While I was at the house, I kept having them and really had some trouble focusing on what I needed to add to my bag. Eric called again and I told him I was done at home and on my way, so he agreed to finish up at work and meet us there. I checked in, literally had a contraction while they were hooking me up to the monitors and then...the contractions stopped. It was the weirdest thing. I think I was there for about 2 1/2 hours and had maybe 4 contractions total. They also did an internal exam and I was still 2 cm. So with no cervical change and no contractions to speak of, they sent me home. I felt really silly, but the upside is that my Mom didn't miss the birth again.

That leads to the next topic. Because of all this false alarm stuff, etc. and the fact that both me and my Mom would really like her to be present, today she decided to change her flight for the second time and will now be arriving tomorrow night instead of Monday night. That means only 1 more day to stay out of labor, although we do have weekend plans with both Samara's birthday dinner and Ava's 3rd birthday party. Considering Samara is also supposed to be at the birth, it might be better to wait until next week. Like I have any choice in the matter. Anyway, assuming nothing crazy happens tonight or tomorrow morning, my Mom should be her for Luke's birth.

Speaking of...If we make it to the induction, it is scheduled for 6 a.m. on Wednesday. I meant to call the doctors office today to see if I had a time scheduled, but kept getting busy doing other stuff. Late afternoon, I got a call from the hospital pre-registration to see if they could pre-register me for my induction. I asked if they knew when it was scheduled and they shared the time with me. I'm not 100% sure of the procedure, but I do have my 37 week appointment on Friday and assume I'll get all the details then.

So, my countdown, is 1 week until induction, we can practically call it 6 days now. I also have only 3 1/2 work days left. This week has been going quickly, so I assume it will be the weekend before we know it and with only Monday and part of Tuesday to work, it'll be time very soon. I really can't wait.

Expiration Date

2008-04-28T19:29:00.002-05:00

On Sunday when I did my grocery shopping I bought milk that expires after my induction date. Today I looked at the 10 day weather forecast online and can see it's supposed to rain on the day Luke is born. Suddenly it really feels like this is happening soon.

Nothing yet except, I'm really almost ready now. Just need to finish up those thank you notes from my work baby shower. Grace is in the bathtub, so I better go finish that up. Nine days and counting.

The New Plan

2008-04-23T20:24:00.002-05:00

So, after much anticipation, I had my "36 week" appointment today and was able to discuss my ultrasound results (although she hadn't reviewed them) and our alternatives and plans for delivery. I must say I am very happy with my doctor because she took all the time we needed to discuss and even though this was a fairly routine appointment, she didn't make us feel rushed at all.

She really does not want me delivering a huge baby. She discussed how as an OB she can handle switching to c-sections for things like fetal distress or failure to progress, etc., but one of the scariest things is a severe shoulder dystocia. If the baby is half way out and gets stuck, it's pretty hard to do a c-section. She said in that case that have to get the head back in and take him the other way (OUCH!). Although, Graces labor and even first part of delivery was fairly easy, they don't want to chance that I have a 10 pound baby.

She can't do anything at the moment because I'm just shy of 36 weeks and you aren't considered full term until 37 weeks. Also, she isn't allowed to do an "elective" induction earlier than 39 weeks without proving lung development. So the options are:
1) Once I complete 37 weeks (3/3) she could order an amnio to check on the lung development. If they are developed, we would be cleared to induce. Some possible complications of an amnio are rupture of membranes or beginning labor. Neither of these are major concerns because that is what we are working towards anyway. She also told me at this time they wouldn't try to stop labor anyway.
2) We pick a cut-off date (closer to 39 weeks) and if I don't spontaneously go into labor by that date, we would do a c-section. A c-section could still be required anyway (the longer we wait). If she sees signs during labor that things are stalling or slowing, it may be a sign that he is too big and they might still decide to do the c-section. Again, more likely the longer we wait.

I would prefer not to have a c-section. They won't induce me if his lungs aren't ready, so I don't see any real risk in pushing the delivery up, so we decided for now to go with Option 1. We also told her that our most important objective is a safe and healthy baby, so while I prefer not to be cut open, if at any point she recommends that as a better option, we'll go with the flow. No arguments from us.

I got a call this afternoon telling me that they are scheduling the amnio on Tuesday, May 6 at 1:00 p.m . If the lungs are good (test results only take about an hour), we would induce on Wednesday, May 7th (37weeks, 4 days). That is two weeks from today. They can't officially schedule at the hospital until 1 week prior, so they'll do that next week and I should know by the time I have my 37 week appointment next week.

After this entire discussion, she decides she should probably check me and I have my internal exam. I am currently 2 cm dialated and 70% effaced. So, nature is getting the process started. Maybe I won't make it two more weeks. Just to give you an idea, at 36 weeks with Grace I was 1 cm and 60% effaced. I also made it 3 more days after my doctor's appointment that I was 3 cm and 90% effaced with Grace, so that doesn't mean I'm necessarily going into labor in the very near future.

I stayed late at work tonight on got the big project done that has been hanging over my head. I really think if I didn't go back, the world wouldn't end. Sure I've still got stuff to do, but I'm not stressing.

Probably stupid to even mention it, but I've been extremely uncomfortable all evening and am just resting and timing my contractions now. Someone at work got me all paranoid by mentioning "loose stools" as a sign of labor. I've been having issues for a couple days now. Oh well, I'll be done in two weeks or less. We'll just see what happens.

Ultrasound Appointment

2008-04-21T19:06:00.001-05:00

3D Ultrasound - 35w2d - Luke
Originally uploaded by Jenmomma

First of all, this picture is a 3D picture that we unexpectedly got at today's "36 week" ultrasound. I love going to the "high risk" place because they take so much time with you and the pictures are awesome. We also have a really good 2D face shot if you look at my flickr pics.

So, I will see my doctor at 8:30 a.m. on Wednesday to discuss the results, but the tech was able to tell us an estimate on size based on a measurement of the femur, belly, and two head measurements. Currently, according to measurements, Luke is weighing in at 8 pounds 7 ounces! Wow! Granted, she did say there could be up to 1 1/2 pound variance meaning he's likey somewhere between 7 and 10 pounds at the moment. Her guess was right around 8 pounds. He was showing signs of plumpness including the pudgy cheeks, "back fat" and a fat roll behind the knee on his pudgy thighs.

Keeping in mind that babies at this stage gain about 1/2 pound per week, we could still add 1 1/2 to 2 pounds going 3 1/2 more weeks. For a baby weighing between 8 1/2 (on the small side) to 10 1/2 pounds.

We don't know what the doctor is going to suggest, but I wouldn't be surprised if we consider an amnio for lung maturity and move the induction up another week. Or of course, if he's that big, he may come on his own in the next week or two.

I'll update after Wednesday's appointment.

34 Weeks (Posted One Week Late)

2008-04-19T18:22:00.001-05:00

34 Weeks
Originally uploaded by Jenmomma

Sorry to subject you to the belly, but it seemed like it would get some attention, because, seriously, it's hard to miss.

I guess it's only been 2 or 3 weeks since my last baby update, but it feels like a lot has happened and I hope to have some more stuff to post about next week, so I wanted to get this one out there.

First of all, I'm still having "contractions" fairly regularly. I'm just trying to keep off my feet at home and not do anything overly strenuous. I'm only timing them if I feel like they are happening a lot or are painful, but I'm pretty sure none of it's actual "labor" so we haven't went back to the hospital.

I had a 34 week doctor appointment last Friday (a week ago). She mentioned my trip to L&D, but didn't really suggest I change anything, she just said he may just not want to stay in there the whole time. I gained 3 pounds in that two weeks. Currently up to 26 pounds. I don't know how some women stop gaining the last month, that's when I seem to put it all on. She measured me and said I'm measuring 2 weeks ahead, so at 34 weeks, my belly measured 36 weeks. She also gave me a Rx for a 36 week ultrasound to check the size again. We've already had to reschedule it, but as of now, I go on Monday for the ultrasound and will see the doctor again on Wednesday. I did ask her about induction (are there certain days she does it, when can we expect, etc.). She said we'd likely do it either May 14, 15, or 16, unless we get unexpected news at the ultrasound and look like we're going to have an extremely large baby in which we may discuss pushing that another week sooner, but there would be additional concerns to that too.

Now that I have an "end date" I feel like I can really start to finalize plans. Mom has a flight scheduled to arrive the afternoon of 5/14 and with everyone else coming in, my first choice would be to do it on Friday, 5/16, so that's what I am going to request when we get to that point. Regardless, I told work that unless he decides to come sooner, May 14 will be my last day of work.

I'm feeling more calm about getting stuff completed. Work is starting to pull together. I've been staying late 1-2 nights a week and have been marking more off of my list than I've been putting on. I only have one major project that would cause problems if I didn't finish before I leave. I have more open items too, but everything else, I think someone else could pick up fairly easily. I did bring the big project home this weekend and I may work on it Sunday night after Grace goes to bed to at least get me started. Hopefully, I can finish it next week.

My stuff to do at home has all been started, but not finished. Tonight I am going to start packing my hospital bags. I have a list, but need to start putting things into the bags, so I can see if there's anything I need to buy. I have the "call list" about 75% done. I have all the people written down, I just need to decide when they should be called in the process and who should call them and then need to tell anyone that I've assigned to spread the word. I also need to finalize my announcement list and get to Danialle and Chadd (they are designing and sending my inviitations as a gift). I keep a list of addresses in a Word doc that can be printed on mailing labels, so I just need to look through my list from Christmas and update it for the baby. Today, I got my bottles (that we never got to use with Grace) back from Samara. I'm washing them tonight and will have them all in the cabinet by tomorrow. I plan on getting an extra key to hide this weekend and then the only major thing will be installing the car seat bases.

Last night, I read through the final month or so of my pregnancy with Grace (on my blog) and it definately seems like I feel farther along than I did with her. Some examples:
- At 34 weeks I mentioned Grace running out of room and making my belly change shape and that if I pushed on her feet when she poked them out, I could feel her butt move on the other side. Luke's been making my belly change shape for weeks and I've been able to pick out body parts, including shoulders, butt, feet, and hands for weeks too.
- At 35 weeks, I mention waddling and starting to feel increased "pressure" below. Luke is just so much lower, that I've been feeling the pressure for weeks too. I mention getting full faster. Not so much this time, I think he just sits lower, so my stomach still has room for a full meal. Also, I said my belly button was still technically "in." Mine actually popped this time. Probably about 3 or 4 weeks ago.
- At 36 weeks I had gained 28 pounds. Since I was 26 pounds at 34 weeks, looks like I might catch up with the Grace weight gain after all. At my 36 week appointment with Grace I was 1cm dialated and 60% effaced. My "36 week" appointment this time is on Wednesday, I'm really curious with all the contraction activity if I've started dialiting yet. We know at 32 weeks (3 weeks ago) I had not started.
- Also around 36 weeks I posted about feeling really "blah" and "icky" and sounds like completely uncomfortable. I feel like that about 50% of the time right now. I will have a good day and then the next day, I can't get comfortable sitting, standing, or anything and I get grouchy and just want to bite the head off of the next person that tells me there's no way that I have 5 weeks left. Usually that happens like this: Stranger: When are you due? Me: May 24th, 5 more weeks! Stranger: "Oh" (with an I feel so bad for you look), "I don't think so!", "Are you sure there's only one?", etc.
-

So, anyway, if we use 5/16 as my expected induction date, in just 4 weeks I should be a Mom again. I only have 3 complete weeks of work left. I still wouldn't be shocked if I go into labor before the 16th, but at least I have an end date and I think this week will go very quickly. Tomorrow, Grace and I are going to a co-worker's daughter's 1st birthday party after church. Monday, I have a morning meeting/conference call and my ultrasound at 3 pm. Wednesday, I have my 36 week appointment at 8:30 a.m. and then at 2:45 p.m. I have an appointment with Dr. L to do a quick cancer checkup (had the breast ultrasound last week and all looked good). Next Saturday, Grace has a "Sibling Class" at the hospital and I'll be 36 weeks pregnant.

Still hoping this last month flies by. As I'll now be having weekly doctor appointments with internal's, I'll try to update weekly. I really like being able to look back for details.

From the Mouth of Babes

2008-04-04T22:23:00.002-05:00

So, after Grace has her worst day ever at Amy's House (the new sitter), including lying, spitting in her hands and wiping it on the carpet while in time out, multiple fits in timeout, talking back, etc., Eric's punishment for her when she came home was no TV at all tonight.

So, we're sitting at the table as a family for dinner and Grace is chatting up a storm (makes me think we should really try to eat at the table all the time). Anyway, Eric says, "Why are you so stinking cute?"

Grace's answer? "When poop comes out of your butt it is stinky. Then I go upstairs and put on a dress for church and I am very beautiful."

So she told us when she is stinky and when she is cute. They are so literal at this age. I don't want to forget all these cute things she says now.

What's Going On?

2008-03-31T18:24:00.003-05:00

I wanted to post some pictures from my Chicago GWO photoshoot (30 weeks), but I can't figure out how to copy them from D's website and don't really want to link there as I don't want to put "all" the pictures on the website.

Anyway, a lot has been going on in the last three weeks and I want to be sure to update.

Work
First and least exciting is work. Since my last post I've had three meetings with presentations to prepare for. In the last three work weeks, I only had 5 days without an appointment, conference call or meeting scheduled. It's an extremely busy time of year for me, plus with trying to start some projects early and get as much finished up before maternity leave, I literally have no free time during the day. I don't check personal e-mail, I only talk to my "work friends" on my lunch hour (a girl still has to eat), and I've been bringing work home more than I would like. I don't see it getting any better before I leave. I wanted to have my desk in order by April 1st so that if I were to go at any time, I would feel like someone could come in and figure out what I was doing. No such luck yet. I'm hoping in two more weeks I could possible be to that point, but I'm planning on working until at least 7 or 8 at least one night a week, bringing home work at least one night a week, and working at least one evening on the weekend for the next month to make that happen.

School
I took my final on March 17th. I only needed a 73% to get an A in the class. Not sure what my grade was, but I did get an A for the quarter, so that was good. Now I'm done until the Autumn quarter starting in September.

House
Our house is still for sale. Activity on the showings is starting to pick up. In the last three weeks, we've had 5 showings and an open house and I have another showing scheduled for tomorrow. No offers yet, but we have been several couple's 2nd choice. Since re-listing in January we've had 13 showings (14 after tomorrow). I'm not stressing about it. If it happens before Luke comes, we'll move, and if not, we'll re-evalute in June when our contract is up.

Baby Stuff
Here's where things get interesting. As of today I'm 32 weeks, 2 days pregnant. With less than 8 weeks until my due date, I'm feeling a mixture of relief and apprehension. I'd been nervous about work stuff, but just last week realized, I've still got stuff to do at home too. I hadn't even started thinking about packing a bag. I needed to confirm with all grandparents what the plans were for the labor. I still need to make up a call list, fill out and turn in my disability/FMLA paperwork, get bottles from Samara, get Grace's 3 year pictures taken, fill out Luke's baby book, and I realized I hadn't bought him a single pair of socks or shoes. Funny, this weekend I bought 1 pair of shoes and a package of socks when I was getting groceries and I felt lots better. I also worked on the grandparent info and feel better about that too.

My trip to Texas and then to GWO in Chicago was relatively uneventful on the baby front. No major contractions, even considering how much walking around we did in Chicago. Last week was exciting because I got to have my 31-32 week appointment and we did an ultrasound. I didn't get to keep any pictures this time, but honestly we didn't really look at much anyway. She just measured his head, belly, and leg bones and that's all we looked at. No face views or any other good shots of his boy parts. Anyway, according to the ultrasound measurements he's currently 5 pounds, 2 ounces. At 32 weeks the average weight is 3.75 pounds. So we're already a pound heavier than average. That puts us in the 90th percentile. If we stay at this rate and I go to 39 weeks, she estimates that he will weigh between 8 1/2 to 9 pounds, so on the same track as Grace. We're going to do another ultrasound at around 36 weeks to see if we're still measuring big. I'm guessing at that time we'll schedule for an induction at somewhere around 39 weeks. I also gave Dr. B another contraction update and she told me that when they start acting up to try to rest and drink water, but didn't do another check or anything. Next appointment is in 2 weeks on April 11th (1 day shy of 34 weeks).

Last night, things got interesting again. I wasn't active, I was just sitting on the couch doing some work and around 10:00 p.m. I had a couple contractions. I didn't write down the time, but they were strong enough to make me have to stop and breathe until it went away. After two that seemed fairly close together, I gave Eric some paper and asked him to keep track for me. At 11:00, when he had recorded 3more, he asked what I wanted to do, because they seemed to be between somewhere
between 7 & 12 minutes apart.

I didn't really know what to do because I kind of wanted to go to bed, but didn't want to miss something if it was important, and the doctor told me to call if I had 4or more an hour for a couple of hours and it had only been just over an hour. So, I decided to call the doctor's office and get a message to the "on-call" doctor. I left a message with the service and she called me back within about 5 minutes. I told her what was going on and that I'd been sitting and did drink a bottle of water over the last hour, so she told me to go to the hospital and get monitored and checked. I felt a little silly assuming it was nothing, but she reassured me better
safe than sorry, so we went.

We had to wake Grace up and we took her to Kim's (a coworker). It was kind of nice to do a "trial-run" because Kim has agreed to watch Grace when I go into labor for real. We dropped her off with a change of clothes for morning and went to the hospital. I did have a couple more contractions on the way. When I got up to Labor and Delivery, they hooked me up the monitors in the Triage area and monitored me for an hour or so. I didn't feel completely stupid, because on the contraction monitor, I was having contractions. They also seemed closer together at the hospital. More like every 4 or 5 minutes, although they didn't seem to be as painful as when I was at home. After an hour or so, the resident doctor came in and checked me. I'm still not dilated at all, and my cervix still feels firm and high up. He also took a swab so they could do a Fetal Fibronectin (FNN) test if the ultrasound or exam was not reassuring. He did an ultrasound to check the length of my cervix. It was still in the "normal" range, so he declared that while I was having ontractions, I was not "in labor."

Then he called to talk to the "on-call" doctor who recommended to go ahead and run the FNN test for reassurance and to give me a shot of terbutaline that was supposed
to stop the contractions and make me a bit jittery and my heart race. The FNN test basically tells if you are at high risk of going into labor within the next two weeks. So, we did both and we had to wait another hour. The FNN came back negative and while I felt like I'd been injected with Red Bull, the contractions stopped. So finally at 3 a.m. we got to go home.

Hopefully, things will continue to be quiet until my 34 week appointment. Oh, yeah, at 32 weeks, my weight gain is 21 pounds. Starting to pack them on, but still in the normal range and probably less than I gained with Grace.

Grace Tells A Story

2008-03-22T21:27:00.002-05:00

Tonight Grace told us her first story that she made up.

"Once upon a time, there was a little boy that was walking in the woods. He saw a scary monster. Then he ran away. The monster chased him. The boy ran through the woods to his house and saw his Mommy and Daddy. The End."

She told it to me twice and then we called Eric in and told him the same story. Such a good imagination.

Good Morning

2008-03-08T10:08:00.001-05:00

Good Morning
Originally uploaded by Jenmomma

It's a lazy Saturday morning. I think this morning I'll just lounge around and then this afternoon I need to do some work (actually for work). I had hoped to do the grocery shopping today, but apparently we are having a blizzard, so we're not going anywhere. Hope I can get out tomorrow because I don't have any free days this week for shopping. Monday I have work and class, Tuesday morning I leave for a work trip to Texas. I get back at 5:30 on Wednesday and then have class. Thursday I have a work meeting and then am leaving for Chicago for the weekend.

Other things to update about:
1. Birthday Weekend
2. Pregnancy
3. Grace's big Potty milestone

My birthday weekend turned out very nice. Shopping wasn't as relaxing as I hoped as Grace was not very cooperative. She cried and threw fits most of the time. I did get some good stuff though. I bought an extra car seat base (more on that in a moment), bouncy seat, diaper bag, going home outfit, baby swimtrunks, and Big Sister t-shirts and Little Brother onesie among other things. After shopping, I brought Grace home for her nap and then we dropped her off at Kim's so we could go out. We went to see Semi-Pro at the theater with Will and Samara and Dane and Amy. It was funny and fun to be on a "date" with my hubby, but probably not my all-time favorite Will Ferrell movie. After the movie we went to Ginji's (a Japanese steakhouse) for dinner. Sunday was beautiful (close to 60 degrees) so after naptime we went to the zoo for a couple of hours. Then I did the grocery shopping and made the family dinner. It was very nice.

So our infant carrier car seat is a part of an Evenflo travel system. With Grace we were fine with one base because Eric did most of the drop-off and pick-ups from daycare and when I had her, I just used the seatbelt to strap the carrier in. Now, however, with two kids and me doing most of the daycare duty, I want a base in my car. Eric's hands are too big to easily strap the seat in with a seat-belt, so we need a 2nd base. Unfortunately, Evenflo only makes one base you can buy separately and it doesn't fit our car seat. I found that out when I brought it home. Now I had a delima because the only way to get two bases is to buy a different infant car seat that will work with the extra base. I found one on e-bay though and for $45 dollars (including shipping) I now have 2 infant car seats and 3 bases. I think our original one we'll just keep as an extra. I think I might take it for travel when we go to Iowa in June, so my parents can keep a base in their car and we don't have to dismantle ours.

Ok, so that sort of ran into pregnancy, but I do have an update on that. I'm now 29 weeks. Officially 11 left to go, but likely closer to 10. Last week I had some contractions. I call them contractions because they feel like I'm starting my period and just hurt for a minute or so before I feel normal again. Sunday they really started up in the evening, but I think it had a lot to do with all the walking at the zoo and grocery store, etc. Monday I tried to stay in my seat as much as possible at work, but still felt like I was having a lot, so I started keeping track of them around 11 a.m. From then until bedtime I had 16 contractions. Some were kind of close together (in the 20 minute range and 2 were only 3 minutes apart), but most of them were in the 30 to 45 minute range sometimes an hour apart. Tuesday was much better and I only had 5 or 6 all day.

Wednesday I had a doctors appointment, so I made sure to mention it to her. She didn't think that sounded like enough activity to cause cervical changes, but went ahead and checked me anyway. I am still completely closed and have not started softening yet, so it's good to know that those contractions did not get labor started at all. I also confirmed that I passed my glucose screening and I have now gained 17 pounds. I would be moving to 2 week appointments now, but Dr. B is out in two weeks, so we're going to wait 3 weeks. In 3 weeks we'll do an ultrasound and find out if Luke is on the above average side. I'm excited to see him again. I feel him constantly and he feels big!

Finally, Grace's milestone. She's been doing very very well over the last couple of months on the potty-training. I think she's only had 2 accidents in the last 6 weeks or so and both were during a nap. We've still been using pull-ups at night time though. Last night, I decided to give Grace a choice if she wanted to wear a pull-up or big girl underwear to bed. She choose underwear. I took an extra set of sheets upstairs just in case, but Grace did not have an accident in her bed. She woke up at about 4:45 a.m. and told me she needed to potty, so we went and then she went back to bed until about 7 a.m. I'm so proud of her. I don't think I'm going ot push it, but I'll keep giving her choices and hopefully we'll be completely pull-up free for a little while before I start buying tons of diapers.

Snow Princess

2008-03-01T09:22:00.001-05:00

Snow Princess
Originally uploaded by Jenmomma

So maybe I'm biased, but isn't she gorgeous? Eric took this picture last week when we had a good snow coming down. Good thing I'm having another baby, because I don't think she qualifies as my baby anymore. She's so grown up. More recent pictures in Flickr.

I also wanted to do a quick pregnancy update. I'm now 28 weeks. I'm coming down the home stretch. Only 12 weeks left if I go to my due date. I'm hoping it's more like 10 to go. I'm definately feeling much more 3rd trimesterish. I'm getting more tired (although my schedule might have something to do with that), I can't do things as easily anymore. It's torture when Grace makes me hold her. I don't have anyplace to set her on my belly. I struggle when putting on socks and shoes, and getting off the floor or couch requires holding on to something. I don't think I'm waddling yet, but probably soon. I did finally take a belly picture! It was a week ago and is my Baby #2 Flicker set. I think my belly looks big, but my weight gain is still on the lower end. I've been gaining more lately, but I'm still in the 16 to 18 pound weight gain, which is completely normal, but not high by any means.

Luke is very active and now I can definately feel body parts when he moves. I can get a reaction out of him if I push on certain areas of my belly, which is reassuring when he's having a quieter day. Seems like there were some bigger movements over the last week or two, but I'm still guessing he's head down.

I think March is going to go extremely fast. I have a lot going on. Today is my birthday and in a few minutes, I'm leaving to go shopping at Babies R Us for Samara to get more of the baby necessities. I think Grace is coming too, so hopefully she's in a good mood. This afternoon, we have a babysitter and Eric and I are going to see SemiPro at the theater (can't remember the last movie we saw together!). Then we're going to Gingi's for dinner. Still not exactly sure who's coming with us, but doubtful that we'll be alone.

March is my busiest time at work, so I've got tons of meetings scheduled already. I think I'm down to only 7 or 8 work days during the month with no meetings or appointments scheduled. I've also got a couple of trips planned. I have to fly to Texas for work on 3/11-3/12, driving to a meeting about 1 1/2 hours away on 3/13, driving to Chicago 3/14 for GWO. I also have a trip to IN for work scheduled April 2 that is supposed to be about a 3 hour drive. With the exception of a meeting on 4/14 that is about 45 minutes away, I think that's my last trip until Luke comes. I also have 2 full weeks of school, plus the final left (ends 3/17). That is going well, just wears me out because I have to go.

I called and spoke to a lactation consultant last week and don't think I'm going to take a class this time. I just need to track someone down for help in the hospital and may need to do an individual appointment after we go home and try it. I did sign Grace up for a "Sibling Class" at the hospital the last week of April. I think they just talk about some of the stuff in the hospital, so it's not so scary when they visit and they get to take a tour and see the nursery and a newborn baby. Grace and I have been talking alot though, and I hope it's not too tramatic for her.

Ok, well I need to go make sure Grace didn't get naked while I've been on the computer, so we can leave to buy more baby stuff! If it's a big haul, maybe I'll take a picture when I get home.

New Bedding

2008-02-16T21:41:00.001-05:00

New Bedding
Originally uploaded by Jenmomma

We got our tax money in! Yay! We also had two showings scheduled today and had to be out of the house from 11 to 1, so we did a little baby shopping. First we went to Once Upon A Child to see if any of the things I wanted were available "gently used" and cheaper. Didn't find anything there, so we went to lunch. After lunch we still had about an hour to kill, so we headed to Babies R Us. I had several coupons that expire next weekend including $20 off a stroller, 15% off crib bedding, 10% off Koala Baby bedding, and a $5 off purchase of $25 (exp. 4/08).

I thought since I had the coupons, the cash and the time, we pick up a couple things. We bought a Joovy sit&stand stroller. It has an attachment to hold the baby carrier, you can remove the attachment and there's a seat when baby is old enough to sit. Plus in the back there is a place for a toddler to stand and hold on or a bench seat so they can sit and ride. For our situation it's much better than a traditional double stroller, since Grace rarely will sit in a stroller any more. We also were looking at bedding and found a new bedding set that wasn't there when we registered. Both Eric and I liked it better, so we changed our theme up a bit and bought the new stuff instead. Glad he was with me! Because we changed the theme and thus some of the colors, I also wanted to get the crib sheets and changing pad covers, as the ones we had on the registry wouldn't have matched. We went with Navy instead of baby blue.

In the end we had a cart load including a stroller, 6-pc bedding set, 2 crib sheets, the changing pad (Grace's had too much wear and tear after two years of daily use), and 2 changing pad covers. Everything that we purchased was on my essentials list, thus my budget. Also, because we shopped this weekend and used my coupons I saved $63 on the order! Still spent $400, but I came in under budget. It sure is hard using only cash, but it feels good that this baby hasn't increased our debt!

Grace was ready for a nap though and I'm sure the store cheered when we left. She made it until we were about 3 minutes from home and then crashed in her seat. She was much better after her nap, thank goodness.

This afternoon, I went online and updated my registry. I removed all the old bedding stuff we registered for and added the new stuff we bought (and showed it as purchased). Just in case anyone shops for us, I want them to know what our actual theme is. There are two more pictures of the bedding and room if you go to my set on Flickr.

Good weekend so far. I still have things to buy and money to spend on Luke which will be fun. I think Samara and I may leave the girls and go shopping for most of the other stuff in 2 weeks, my little birthday gift to myself. I would have waited on this stuff, but the coupons were too good!

25 Week Photo Shoot

2008-02-14T19:46:00.001-05:00

25 Week Photo Shoot
Originally uploaded by Jenmomma

I know it's been a while and I haven't officially taken any more "belly" pictures, but last weekend Danialle did a mini-photo shoot for me and we got this one. It doesn't show the side profile shot, but it's much prettier and classier than my typical shots, so I think I'll share.

This month has been so busy. School has been picking back up (only 1 more month until after baby). Work is entering my busiest time of the year and dealing with a 3-year old has my hands full.

On top of that I got a really bad upper respitory virus that lingered for about 2 weeks. I knew I was getting sick, so I went to my primary care doctor, but think I went a day early. Because it was a virus they couldn't prescribe any antibiotics and because I was pregnant, they limited me to Robitussun. I also had a really high pulse (130), so they told me to stay away from Sudafed which can be a stimulant. I took the next day off work and was so icky feeling that I had to stop to catch my breath just walking from the living room to the kitchen. I was wheezing to catch my breath and coughing something awful. I was running low on Robitussin, so I went to the pharmacy to get more and used the blood pressure machine and found my pulse was still high at 135! I called my doctor's office again to tell them I was worse and about my pulse and they told me to go to the ER! So another $75 later I was told that it was still a virus, but they decided to go ahead and prescribe me a stronger cough medicine and a decongestant. They weren't in the safest pregnancy category, but I think a small risk was better than the way I was feeling. I took another day off work and finally went back the third day although my cough and stuffy nose lasted another week and a half.

Last weekend I had a GWO at Heather's. It was heavenly. I think I really needed a break from Grace who has really been testing the limits, including getting up extremely early or multiple times a night. I feel like she's trying to get us ready for the baby, but I don't know that we need any extra practice! Anyway, none of us had much money to spend, so it was a really low key weekend. I got just after 9 p.m. and we chatted for a bit before we hit the sack. Heather had to work in the morning and I had a 9:30 a.m. conference call that I couldn't get out of, so I went to Heather's work with her to make the call. Once we got back, Danialle set up for a photo shoot. Most of the pictures were of Erica who was looking for a nice Valentine's present for her husband, but we took a couple of pregnant poses of me. I think I get my full photo shoot in Chicago at our March GWO. After we wrapped up the picture taking, we were hungry, so we had an early dinner at Applebee's and then went to a couple stores before heading home to organize our coupons (yes, that's lame, but I swear we enjoyed ourselves). We also played a late into the night game of dominos which I won.

On Saturday, Heather made us breakfast and then after we all dressed, we went to a movie. We saw P.S. I Love You which was a total chick flick and many tears were shed, but it was wonderful to actually sit in a theater. We got ice cream on the way home and then got ready for a "surprise" party/get together that Heather planned for the evening. Nick grilled us some of Heather's gormet burgers. A couple of Heather's other friends came buy for the party. It was really fun, I won't give all the details, but you had to be at least 18 to buy any products and the products could be used alone or with a partner...
After the party, we broke in Heather's new Karoke machine (trust me, I didn't sing), but once we found out we could watch music videos off of Erica's I-pod on the TV, we had a living room dance party trying to imitate the videos. It was fun and burned some calories. Sunday we all went home.

This week I had my 25 1/2 week doctor appointment. I had to do my glucose tolerance test which I do not have results on yet. I also had a couple questions this time. I asked about traveling because I have been trying to schedule lots of meetings for work for March and April and need to figure out how far and by what mode of transportation is safe. I also asked for some details as far as keeping an eye on the baby size and the possibility of early induction. The plan is to do an ultrasound at 32 weeks to get an idea of size. If he's at all more than average, we'll do another at 36 weeks and if he looks big, we'll probably induce about a week before my due date. I'm not sure that will help a whole lot since Grace came on her own 6 days early and was still 8 pounds 11 ounces, but we'll see how it goes. I have gained 14 pounds, he's head down at the moment, heart rate around 150, and I still have great blood pressure.

We've officially decided his name is Luke. He is an active baby and is now in a familiar position. His little feet kick me on my upper right side, just like Grace always did. It's starting to feel really real now. Once we get our tax money (hopefully another week or so), I'll get to buy the stuff for his room and I think that will help it set in. I really haven't bought anything. Also, my March is already getting completely booked with work stuff, so I think that month will fly by and suddenly I'll be 7 months pregnant. Wow, this is going too fast.

Ultrasound Pictures

2008-01-21T10:53:00.001-05:00

Profile- 20w3d (Edited)
Originally uploaded by Jenmomma

I finally uploaded 3 of my favorites from the ultrasound 2 weeks ago. This one is the profile of his face. I also have one of the foot and the boy parts if you click and visit the set in Flickr.

Pregnancy stuff is going well. I feel much bigger lately. Wouldn't know since I haven't been taking pictures! I also have started gaining weight. At my doctor's appointment last week I was up 5 pounds for the month for a total of 11 pounds since my first visit. At home I haven't gotten around to a morning weight, but I think I'm at around 12 pounds total wieght gain. With just under 18 weeks to go, that would still put me at about 30 pounds total if I do the 1 pound per week gain. Seems like my appetite is picking up though, so I'm not sure that will be feasable.

We're still up in the air on the name, but I really think it will end up being Luke. Grace and I always call him Baby Luke and I've caught Eric saying it a couple times, so I think that will be it, but he hasn't officially agreed to it yet.

He's definately getting bigger and stronger. The kicks are becoming harder not to notice. I think he even got the hickups last week for the first time (that I noticed). Last night he must have been doing flips or stretching or something because I felt it both down low and up high at the same time. Seems like he always kicks way down low in the pubic region. I remember Grace's kicks by my belly button or above. Last night though, I definately felt some above my belly button, so maybe he's going to start spending some time head down. I know we've still got some time before position is important, but I want to be sure he knows how to get in that position!

We finally are done with the rearranging of the rooms and decorating. Last Tuesday, we got new carpet upstairs in Grace's "new" room, along with the hallway and stairs. Finally, I don't smell cat upstairs. Eric and I pulled up some of the old carpet by ourselves the day before and painted some Killz on the floor, so the smell shouldn't come back. After it was installed, I put together Grace's new headboard and dresser and moved all of her stuff (except for her fish tank) to her new room. She's been sleeping there all week. This weekend I finally converted the toddler bed back to a crib and brought all the baby stuff up from the basement. We will still need to buy the bedding and decorative stuff for the baby's room, but won't do that until we get our tax return this year. Being on a budget is tough.

I think Grace is getting impatient about waiting on the baby. I think she notices I'm getting bigger, because she asks alot if the baby is coming out yet. The other night I had class and she asked Eric if I had the baby. Poor girl still needs to wait 4 more months. She still seems happy about it though and is completely ok with her "old" room being the baby's room and liked looking at all the stuff with me when we pulled it out and put it away.

Suddenly, 4 months doesn't seem long to wait. January is going very quickly. Work has been keeping me busy. February is already a shorter month. I have a feeling I'm going to blink and realize it's March and somehow I'm 7 months pregnant! It's ok though. Once we get all the stuff we need to buy. I think I'm ready. I still love pregnancy, but I think I'm ready to tackle the baby part too.

On another note, Grace started with our new child-care provider today. Luckily, I think I was more nervous than she was. I hope it all goes extremely well as financially it is helping us out tremendously. I hope we're really happy and feel very good about it before the baby comes and she gets to watch both of them. No phone calls yet, so that's a good sign. I'm off work today for the holiday, so I'll probably go get her early just to see how it went.

Catching Up - Or "What Happened to December?"

2008-01-08T19:48:00.000-05:00

I apologize, once again, for my extended absence. December was completely crazy and busy. Tonight I'm in a hotel room in Elkhart, Indiana (work meeting tomorrow), so instead of completely vegging out on TV or working on the work I brought with me (boring!), I thought I'd attempt to catch up on my blogging. Settle in, this could be a long one.

Grace's 3-Year Update/Birthday
Right before her actual birthday, we did our 3-year visit to the Cleft Palate Clinic. I was expecting it to be totally uneventful. We meet with the Plastic Surgeon, ENT, Dentist, and Speech Therapist. Plastics was uneventful, her palate is still closed and looks great. ENT I expected to be fine since she hasn't had any ear infections (until last week). They looked and her tubes are both out, but she did have some fluid still behind the ear drum. They asked when she last had a hearing check (birth) and had the audiologist do a hearing check. I wasn't at all concerned. She constantly whispers when she knows you need to be quiet (like in the middle of the night when she comes to tell me she can't find her lovey), she never asks me to repeat myself and generally seems to hear fine. However, they did find a slight hearing loss in her right ear. The ENT met with us again and wants to see her in a few months. They may decide to put the tubes back in her ears to drain the fluid and make sure the hearing issue doesn't get worse. Now that she just got a double ear infection, I think this is actually likely. Great, another surgery. The dentist said her mouth looks perfect (she does have a gorgeous smile). The Speech Therapist said we are on the right track with her weekly visits.

Her regular 3-year check up was fine. She weighed 37 1/2 pounds and was 37 1/4 inches tall. She is potty training well and generally doing all the things a normal 3 year old should.

Grace's birthday party was a Dora theme (of course)! We ended up having about 6 kids and parents in attendance. I made a yummy barbeque and everyone seemed to have a good time. Grace got lots of toys, mostly Dora ones. Also, Donna and Kyle and family came to visit. Grace had so much fun playing with her cousins. I think my favorite picture is her playing dress up with them.

Christmas
The weekend before Christmas we embarked on our Indiana family road trip. Luckily, my work decided to be nice and grant us all with Christmas Eve off instead of only the 1/2 day that was originally scheduled. We left on Friday after work. Grace was very good in the car. We put her in a pull-up for the road, but she was still dry when we got there! We went to Kyle & Leslie's to spend the night. Saturday morning, we realized that we had left the backpack with Grace's clothes at home! I went to the store with Leslie and picked up enough clothes for Grace to get her through the weekend. I know Donna was giving us cash to get Grace some clothes, so I decided to spend it early! Later Donna arrived and after Kyle got off of work we did the gift exchanges and had dinner and just visited. Sunday we got up and had breakfast before heading to Gary's (Eric's Dad's house). We got there in time for lunch and did our gift exchange there. We stayed for a few more hours and then drove up to my Grandparents house. We got there while they were at church, so we used the spare key and let ourselves in and got Grace her bath and into her PJ's. I was still waiting to hear if my parents were going to make the trip. They were supposed to leave around 5 pm central time to drive to Grandma's. Unfortunately a big snowstorm in Iowa made driving nearly impossible, so after giving it a great try, they turned back. After Grandma and Grandpa got home we visited for a while before bed. On Christmas Eve morning we headed for home. That evening we went to the Christmas Eve service at church. Grace was so excited for Santa to come. We left him cookies and chocolate milk (by Grace's request). She woke up at 4:30 a.m. I went to her room and she got up and looked out the window. She said, "Santa's not here." I told her she had to go back to sleep. At 5:00 a.m. she got in bed with us and by 5:30 a.m. we gave up and got up. Grace's big gifts were a basketball goal and a Go Diego Go Rescue Center. By 8:00 a.m. we were ready for naps. Grace slept until after 11:00 a.m.! That afternoon we went over to Will and Samara's where Samara made us a great Christmas dinner.

Changes around the House
Our contract with our realtor ended in mid-December. We still have the sign up, but technically we're off the market. I called the realtor on January 2nd and told her let's leave it off until February 1st, so we can do a little work on the house. She said she wanted to shoot for January 15th, so we got busy! Two weekends ago, Samara came over and painted with us. We painted the office/pet room, Grace's room, and the upstairs hallway. It's a nice tan color. I'll take pictures once the transformation is complete. We decided not to let the house being on the market keep us from getting ready for the baby, so we want to get started on the nursery. If we stay in the house, the kids will have separate rooms, so that's how we're setting up. If we sell and move, we'll just combine them. Now that we are going to use the pet room, we had someone come and quote us carpet prices. Smokey has used the carpet as an extension of his litter box and the room just stinks. We're replacing the carpet in that room, the hallway, and stairs. They are installing it in one week. Since we are using that room we had to clean it out. We moved the desk and computer to our bedroom (after a little rearranging). The dog cage and stuff in the closet was moved to the basement. I bought another shelving system and got everything really organized in the unfinished part of the basement. Next step was to move all the toys from the living room, sun room, and some from Grace's room to the basement. We made it like a play/toy room. It's been in that form for about 2 weeks and so far is working ok. She doesn't play down there by herself a ton, but will ask to go down and pick out toys to bring upstairs (one at a time). Eric's idea was to move Grace to the other room, because otherwise we will have to totally disassemble the crib to move it accross the hall. Grace is getting new furniture, so we'll just put it in the room after we get the carpet. I ordered her a headboard with a bookcase and a dresser from Target online. We'll move the desk, round table and fish tank to her room. Last weekend Eric got an amazing deal on a twin size pillow-top mattress, boxspring and frame. We put the mattress on her floor on Sunday (in her current room) and she's been sleeping in at night. She's so excited. We bought her Dora sheets and comforter. Samara made her curtains this week and I think it will be really cute when finished. We'll leave the crib, dresser, bookshelf, glider, and bring the changing table back up for the baby room. I can't wait until next week when it's all done (except for the baby bedding/decorations).

Pregnancy Update
Speaking of the baby... I can't believe I'm half way done! I started really feeling bigger stronger movements right around the first of January. I can now feel kicks from the outside if I have my hand in the right place. Eric says he has felt it too, but I haven't had Grace try yet. I haven't done a belly picture. Not sure why except I haven't gotten around to it. I've officially gained 9 1/2 pounds. Not bad considering I was pregnant through the holidays. I haven't really been craving sweets though, so that's good. I think I'm on track to gain about 30 pounds this time which is slightly less than with Grace, but I could have some big gain weeks coming up. I feel really good. I am not really tired anymore. I do have to make LOTS of bathroom stops. I also am extremely irritable which unfortunately I take out often on Grace. She does little 3-year old things that really irritate me and I know I am hard on her. I try to be patient, but it's extremely hard right now.

Today, I had my "official" 20-week ultrasound. It was a Level 2 ultrasound at a Maternal Fetal Medicine office. First we met with a genetics counselor. We talked alot about our family reproductive historys and other health history. Turns out we don't have any red flags that would make us high risk or warrant additional screening. The only reason we were there was because of Grace's cleft palate. On a bright note, we discussed radiation (in reference to the fact that I had my mammograms and chest x-rays while 3 weeks pregnant) and she confirmed that since I didn't miscarry, there was basically zero risk of that causing other birth defects from exposure at that gestation. Since we were discussing radiation, I asked her if she knew about breastfeeding after radiation on the breast. She's going to do some research and get back to me. Eric is againt the idea of breastfeeding, but I want to try at least one sided or both if the radiated side will produce milk. I'm not really hopeful about milk production. The right side is growing much slower than the left. I don't know if it's noticable in clothes yet, but they look and feel different to me. Also, my nipple on the left side is changing, but the right side pretty much looks the same as before. All signs point to only the non-radiated side working for milk production.

Once we finished the genetics talk they took us back for the scan. The technician was really nice. She did a head to toe scan and measured and looked at everything. They looked at the brain and in the head they looked at the hard palate and lips. They can't really see the soft palate in ultrasound, but from what they can see everything looks good. So worst case scenario, if this baby has a cleft it won't be any worse than Grace's was. They looked at all the chambers of the heart, measured arm bones, looked at the bladder, kidneys, etc., measured leg bones, counted fingers and toes on both hands and feet. They were also able to confirm that this is definately a boy. We have an extremely clear picture of the boy parts and she even showed us the difference between the cord and the penis. I would say we can be 100% sure it's a boy. We are still up in the air on names. Grace and I still like Luke, but Eric's leaning towards Caleb. I guess we still have time to decide, but I'd like to start calling him by name. It seemed more "real" with Grace once we started calling her by name. Eric has the pictures and I'm not at home, but next week when I am back home I'll scan and upload the ultrasound pictures. He looks like he has a cute profile. His nose looks different than Grace's. I can't believe I'm having a boy. I don't know what I'll do with a boy, but I'm sure we'll figure it out. If he has 1/2 the personality that Grace does, he'll fit right in.

Goals for 2008
I'm not going to do a ton of goals for 2008. Seems like I did ok on the 2007 goals. I exceeded our debt reduction goal. I think I lost the weight I wanted to etc. This year, I want to do more of the same.
1. Continue working on the debt. It will tough adding a 4th family member, but I want to keep paying extra on our bills and continue to not use credit cards. On average we typically increase our debt by $5,000 per year, this year we decreased it by just over $15,000.
2. I would like to be down to 155 pounds (+5 pounds over pre-pregnancy) by the end of the year (7 months after baby born).
3. Continue taking classes and getting good grades. (At least 2 classes after maternity leave).
4. Be a good Mom, Wife, Daughter, Friend.

Ok that's all for now. On Thursday, we're leaving to go to Iowa to visit my parents. On 1/21 Grace will start with her new daycare provider (saving us $60 per week!). I should have pictures of the kids rooms next week too. I'll strive for an updated belly picture and I'll scan the best of the ultrasound pictures.

Pictures are Up

2007-12-21T17:48:00.000-05:00

No time to post right now, but I did add a set in Flickr of the pictures from Grace's Birthday party. Also, Grace has been stealing the camera lately and taking pictures, so I added a set of her compositions.

Surprise!

2007-12-13T21:00:00.000-05:00

I know I still owe a 3-year update on Grace, but I thought this was more important.

Today, I had a 8:45 a.m. appointment to get my breast ultrasound done. I have an appointment with Dr. L next week, so this was in preparation. To start with due to a staffing issue and an emergency case, I didn't get seen until 10:30 a.m. The staff was incredibly apologetic for my wait. They kept coming to check on me and telling me they were sorry and when they took me back, they gave me a $10 gift card to Meijer as an apologize. Since when does the health care profession care about your wait?

When I fianally went back, I tried to be a joker. In all the dressing rooms and bathrooms, they have signs saying to inform your technologist if you think you may be pregnant. So, when I walked in, I told them I think I may be pregnant. They said, "I think we have a funny one." I got on the table to start the scan. I told the technologist that if she got bored, she could tell me what kind of baby I was having. She didn't seem overly friendly, so I quickly followed with, "I'm sure you aren't allowed to do that." She said, "Yeah, we really aren't supposed to." She then scanned both breasts. When she was done, she said, "I could take a look at the baby, if you want." I eagerly agreed. Who would turn down a free ultrasound a couple weeks early? She told me I wouldn't get any pictures, because "this never happened." I said, "I won't tell if you won't."

She took a look and it looked like the baby was laying sideways. I immediately saw the head and the spine. We located the heartbeat and then saw an arm move. When we started to scan to the lower half, it quickly decided to cross it's legs. We tried a couple other angles, and the tech said, "That might be a penis." I said, "Do you think so?" She wasn't sure. She handed me a towel and said that she'd go get the doctor to review the breast films and then we'd take another peek before I left. Maybe the baby would move.

When she left, I poked my belly to see if I could get it to change position. She came back with the doctor. Again they apologized for the wait. The doctor said that everything looked good and nothing to be suspicious of on the ultrasounds. Then the tech got the gel back out to take a second look. It looked like the baby turned about 90 degrees. I saw the feet and the legs started kicking. This time we got a better look and there did appear to be boy parts. She said it looked pretty consistent, so I think we're having a boy!

It's not my official ultrasound, but I definately saw what she was pointing out, so I think there's a really good chance, it is a boy.

The only downside was that Eric wasn't at my appointment. It wasn't supposed to be a baby appointment, so I went by myself. I called him as soon as I got to the garage and I asked if he would be mad, if we looked at the baby during my breast ultrasound. I offered to keep our suspicions to myself until the official ultrasound, so he could be there. He wanted to know what we saw, so I told him. He's prety excited, because he wanted a boy.

I don't think it's completely sunk in yet, but I think we can start making plans for a son. Wow. Now, do I tell my doctor at my OB appointment next week?

16 Weeks, 2 days

2007-12-10T17:45:00.001-05:00

Yes, I still owe an updated belly picture. And yes, I have a belly to update about.

I also need to update on Grace's birthday party, but I only have a minute.

So, for 16 weeks. Biggest news is that the movement thing is a definate and getting stronger all the time. It's different than with Grace though. Not sure exactly how. With Grace at this point it felt like little bumps and nudges, this time it's more like the baby is moving and flipping over. It's not kicks or punches, but movement. I know that doesn't make sense, but I can't describe it. I also feel it alot. I wonder if this baby will be more active than Grace, at least in utero. Or maybe I am just more in tune this time. I'm looking forward to the other kinds of movement, because honestly this just feels weird.

The morning sickness thing still throws me for a loop. I've been trying to do better about eating soon after getting up in the morning, but if I don't, I will get sick. I threw up last Tuesday as a matter of fact. At least if I eat, I don't get nauseous and it only seems to be a problem first thing in the morning. I guess the rest of the day I eat before I get to that point.

With Grace I'd gained 2.5 pounds at 16 weeks. This time I'm still holding steady between 5 and 5.5 depending on the day. I gained it quicker, but I haven't really gained much this month. I wonder if I am eating healthier? I do love a good salad and I'm not all that interested in sweets, so maybe this is good?

Ok, I've got lots to do tonight. I'll try to make taking a picture one of them and I'll update on Grace's party soon. I've got some good pictures with her cousins from this weekend.

Turkey, Stiches, Shopping, Potty Training, and Baby Update

2007-11-30T20:43:00.000-05:00

I hate when I don't update for a while and then I feel like there's a ton to catch up on. Guess I better start now.

First of all, a Thanksgiving recap. We continued our 4 year tradition of having Thanksgiving with Will & Samara and family. I spent most of Wednesday evening cooking and then Thursday we got there around 10 a.m. Samara and I did a little more prep work while the turkey was cooking. We expected to eat around 1 p.m.

However, we had to take a detour to the emergency room right before we were ready to mash the potatoes. The girls have been going potty like champs and during one of Grace's visits, she decided to be a daredevil and jump from the stool in front of the toliet to the stool in front of the sink. She missed. Her head hit the vanity resulting in a "gaping" gash right between the eyebrows. There was blood and tears, and when I looked closer at the source of the blood, I just saw that there appeared to be a hole in the middle of Grace's head. Stiches were needed. We drove to the ER and luckily got in and out in under 2 hours complete with 3 stitches to the head. Good thing it didn't take much longer, cause I was getting hungry! Grace was very brave. She stopped crying before we got into the car and only cried at the hospital when we had to hold her down to let the doctor stick a needle into her head. Yeah, I might want to cry too.

After our dinner, Eric went home, because he works the Friday after T-Day. Grace and I spent the night. Samara, Clara and I got up at 4:00 a.m. to pick up Danialle (she drove over and stayed at my house late on Thursday) for some shopping. Will was off work so he watched Grace and Ava all day. Samara, Danialle and I shopped until about 4 p.m. I was very proud of myself for my first Christmas shopping experience without a credit card. Except for food, I only spent $5 on an item that was not a Christmas present.

Saturday, we put up the tree and then dropped Grace off with a sitter while we went to Ginji's (a Japanese Steakhouse) to celebrate Eric's birthday. Will and Samara's babysitter fell through, so they brought both girls, but they were perfect angels. I love Ginji's. That was about it for Thanksgiving weekend.

I did want to give a potty training update. Grace is doing awesome. She pretty much only wears underwear now. Occassionally, daycare will send home clothes because of an accident, but she's very good at telling us when she needs to go and doesn't even have any issues with going #2. She'll tell us she needs to go and then sit there and push it out. I'm so proud. At school they don't even use a diaper at naptime (I haven't been that brave at home yet). I'm still putting her in pull-ups overnight because she never wakes up dry. I also sometimes will use a pull-up on the weekend if we're going to be in the car alot or when I take her to the nursery at church. That may change this weekend though. Last week she told me she had to go while we were grocery shopping (she was in a pull-up) and I got her to the bathroom in time. I think she kept her pull-up dry all day.

Lastly, a baby update. I know I haven't been updating alot. A couple key highlights:
- I think I'm past the icky feelings, but only if I don't get hungry. Mornings can still be tough, so if I feel bad when I wake up, I try to go eat something right away and I'll feel better. Also, if I'm late for lunch, I start feeling sick. Food helps though and I can still eat anything I want and have no weird cravings. If anything I have anti-cravings. I don't ever crave sweets and my old favorite Chipotle hardly ever enters my mind. However, I can eat those things with no problem, just not craving them.
- I'm showing. Still no strangers have commented, but people I know and haven't seen for a while, or people I know and haven't told I'm pregnant have commented. For example, 2 weeks ago my pastor asked me if I was pregnant. I ran into one of Grace's old daycare teachers (haven't seen her in at least a year) and she asked me, plus someone at work that I don't really ever work with asked. I can't fit in any of my non-maternity pants and I mostly am wearing maternity shirts too. I don't mind, it's looking more pregnant belly and less fat.
- I rented a doppler. Can't remember if I mentioned that. I rented it about 2 weeks ago, just before my last doctor's appointment. I'm sending it back after a month. It was cheap and I like to listen, so I thought I'd do it again. Different thing this time is that I hear alot more movement than when I listened to Grace. Maybe this baby is more active?
- My doctor's appointment was fine. All normal stuff. I have gained about 5 pounds. Baby's heart rate was 151. She told me I could get a prescription for my headaches' if needed (and it has been since then). Next appointment is December 19th. At that appointment she'll write me a prescription for an ultrasound. They are sending me for a level 2 ultrasound so they can take a closer look to see if this baby has a cleft. We should also be able to find out the sex. Not sure I can get it scheduled before Christmas, but hopefully we'll have it done before my trip to Iowa in January.
- Lastly, I'm pretty sure I feel movement already. I kind of thought I was feeling "flutters" a couple weeks ago, but it just seemed to early. Then at my doctor's appointment, Dr. B asked me if I was feeling anything yet. I asked if it was too early and she said not necessarily. So I've been paying attention and I think it is. I wasn't sure with Grace until it was definate poking or kicking. I kind of missed the "flutter" stage. This time I think I am more in tune with my body. With Grace I felt something for sure by 16 weeks. I'll be 15 weeks tomorrow and today I've been feeling all kinds of weird flip and rolling movements down there. I don't think I have that much gas. Makes me wonder if I'm right about this baby being more active. Guess that'll be fun in about 4 months.

Ok, I've got other stuff to do. I think I'll do my next belly picture at 16 weeks and try to update again then. Hopefully, we'll figure out the daycare situation soon. I'm just praying for the right in home care situation to drop in our laps, because I don't know how we can afford 2 at the daycare center. Sigh.

12 weeks, 2 days

2007-11-12T16:22:00.000-05:00

It's been a fairly eventful 2 weeks in pregnancy land. I did add a belly picture taken last Thursday (11 weeks, 5 days) in Flickr. I think my expanding waistline is becoming more "bump-like" and in clothes I look pregnant rather than just fat now. I'm pretty much in maternity clothes full time. Even starting to wear the shirts. I have wore some of my non-maternity pants with a rubber-band over the button or a safety pin, but then I have zipper issues, so I think I need to stop wearing them. Unfortuntately, I don't have a nice pair of cream or tan (not khaki) dress maternity pants. Maybe I should request a Motherhood Maternity gift card for Christmas.

Last Monday I got my first real migraine of this pregnancy. It started in the afternoon as a fairly normal headache. I took Tylenol and remained at work and did pretty normal stuff in the evening. Typically a good night's sleep will take away my headaches, so I was very disappointed to find it still going strong on Wednesday morning. I called in sick to work and went back to bed until about 10:30 a.m. My head hurt so bad that I kind of wandered around aimlessly at home. TV kind of hurt my head and the computer was intolerable. I took a shower and a hot bath and another 20 minute nap before 2 p.m. I attempted to eat lunch around noon, but could only stomach a couple bites. My headaches make me nauseous and unable to eat. Around two I was starving though, so I was able to make myself finish my lunch. Around 3 p.m. it started letting up a bit, so I did some cleaning around the house. Still didn't feel great though, so I only had a bowl of cereal for dinner.

Wednesday morning I still had a headache, but thankfully my morning dose of Tylenol kicked it and by 9 a.m. I felt much better. However, I think my light dinner made my stomach completely empty and when I was getting Grace's stuff together for daycare, I suddenly got extremely nauseous and had to be sick in the kitchen sink. Nothing actually made it out of my stomach, but if it was there, it would have.

Funny about that morning sickness thing. That was the first time, I actually vomited this pregnancy and I was just past 11 weeks. On Monday, last week though, I did get a wave of pretty strong nausea in the car while driving Grace to daycare. I actually removed the lid of my McDonald's cup just in case, but managed to hold off on the puking. Today, I was not so lucky. Last night we made pancakes for dinner and I didn't have any late evening snacks, so maybe my tummy was too empty again? When I was getting ready for work I was thinking I was a little nauseous and I should go get something to eat, but I was busy, so I didn't. When Grace and I went to the kitchen, I grabbed a muffin (I made them last night) and I drank a glass of apple juice, hoping that would help. Then I grabbed a sleeve of saltines and a plastic bowl and got Grace into the car. While driving in my subdivision, before making it to the main road, I had grabbed the bowl and started pulling over to the side of the road. Good think I had my bowl! I got out of the car to dump my bowl and finish. I felt much better after being sick though. So weird. I thought the puking last week was a fluke thing. I hope this ends soon though. I don't know anyone who's morning sickness started at 3 months!

Looking back at my pregnancy last time by 12 weeks:
- Last time I ordered a doppler. I've been considering it again. I actually ordered one on Friday (although from a different company) that was about 1/2 the price of one I got last time. I thought this time I'd only keep it for a month. I'm hoping in about a month, I should be feeling the baby. Problem was after I completed the order I read the part saying I need my doctor to sign off before they'll ship it. I e-mailed and requested that they cancel the order, but I don't know if they have yet. Grrr. I don't want to have to get my doctor involved.
- Last time, I hadn't gained any weight at 11 weeks. This time I've gained 4 pounds at 12 weeks. I still don't think that's too bad.
- My only other big milestone was wearing maternity clothes, which I've been doing for a while now.

Budget Update

2007-11-07T16:32:00.000-05:00

In October, we paid off Eric's student loan (which we only had to buy my engagement ring and pay for our honeymoon...). We have now since we started really budgeting and working on our debt in mid-February, we have eliminated payments on 5 loans/credit cards. This has resulted in a reduction of our debt of $15,237. Considering that in 2005 and 2006 our balances on debt increased $5,000 per year, I think this is a great improvement. Unfortunately, we still have a ways to go, but everytime I add up those numbers, it makes me happy that they are getting smaller. We now have left the big ticket items. Two credit cards with high balances, Eric's car, and our 2nd mortgage which is currently on an interest only loan. Moving would certainly get rid of a big chunk with the 2nd mortgage. I now get to start working on the smaller of the credit cards by paying an extra $550 per month. It will still take us another two and a half years to get these three big items paid off (minus the 2nd mortgage). I just hope we can figure a way in our budget to afford two in daycare and continue paying extra on our debt. I would love to be debt free before applying for my loans for med school.

10 Weeks

2007-10-27T08:28:00.000-05:00

I'm now counting my weeks changing on Saturday, to go with my new due date of May 24th, but I've been too lazy to change my ticker at the top of the page, so it's 2 days ahead.

I think I've turned a corner this week. I'm still really tired, but have days with no icky feelings. Now I feel sick mostly if I let myself get too hungry. My mood has also improved (thank goodness). I've actually been in a good mood the past couple of evenings versus before when anyone who spoke to me was at risk of having their heads ripped off. This has certainly improved conversation between Eric and I. I think he's glad it's getting better too.

My next belly picture isn't due until next week, but I certainly think I'm "showing" now. If I tell someone I'm pregnant, they notice my little bulge. I also am wearing maternity pants the majority of the time. Haven't felt the need to switch shirts yet, but probably will need to in the next few weeks.

Timing of the "feeling better" part seems to closely coincide with Grace's pregnancy, although I hadn't switched to maternity clothes yet that time.

In other news, Grace has been making progress on the potty front. She's very good at daycare. She wears underwear all day except for naptimes and her only accidents are usually poopy accidents or if she's playing outside and they don't make it inside fast enough (although she's telling them she has to go). At home she sometimes goes when waking up (although many mornings her pull-up is wet, so she doesn't have anymore to go. She also will go before or after her bath on most nights. They usually send her home in underwear only, so we've been going without pull-ups until bedtime. I haven't tried her for a whole weekend yet. I was going to this weekend, but we have a pampered chef party to go to and I'm nervous about accidents when we aren't at home. I still ask her about going even when she's in a pull-up, but she doesn't always say yes and rarely tells me she has to go if she's not in underwear.

Ok, gotta get dressed for the party.

Painting in the Sun

2007-10-18T05:50:00.001-05:00

Painting in the Sun
Originally uploaded by Jenmomma

Because pictures of Grace were requested. Here are pictures from our visit to the pumpkin farm a couple of weeks ago. Click the picture to visit the set in Flickr.

8 week 5 day ultrasound

2007-10-17T20:51:00.001-05:00

8 week 5 day ultrasound
Originally uploaded by Jenmomma

I had my first official doctor's appointment today, thus the photos...Here's the play-by-play.

My nurse appointment was at 10:00 a.m. They took me back and had me give a urine sample. Eric hadn't arrived yet, but he came in right after I was done. Then they weighed me. I'd gain one pound since my appointment a couple weeks ago. Then we went to an office to sit with the nurse. She took my blood pressure 114/71. Then she asked some questions relating to my medical history/previous birth etc. Then she went over some information they gave me in a packet. A pregnancy book, some flyers on the hospital, pain management, drugs I'm allowed or not while pregnant, etc. Then she did a TB test. After that, they sent me to the lab (still in the doctor's office) to take some blood. I didn't really pay attention to what they are testing for. We finished all that by 10:30, so we went back to the waiting room to wait until Dr. B was ready to see me at 11:00.

Once we went back to that appointment, I had to undress and get under the gown. Dr. B asked me a couple more questions about Grace's birth. We told her about her size (8lb, 11 oz, 6 days early) and the shoulder dystocia). We confirmed no other pregnancy complications last time. Spontaneous labor with my water breaking and contractions starting afterwards. She went over the schedule of visist and ultrasounds. I'll have appts. every 4 weeks until 28 weeks, at that point they'll go to every 2 weeks, and then at 36 weeks, I'll start going weekly. She'll do another ultrasound between 17-19 weeks to look for any abnormalities (and the sex if we want), then because Eric and I were both large babies and we had a large baby, she'll likely do an ultrasound at 32-34 weeks to see what she estimates the size of this one to be. If it looks to be on track to be about the same as Grace, she'll let nature take it's course (at least until my due date). However, if this one looks much bigger, she may suggest an amnio to check for lung maturity and an early induction.

We discussed a couple more important questions including what types of cheese I need to avoid and exactly how dangerous they are. Bad news, I need to completely avoid soft cheeses including blue, feta, gorganzola, goat, and brie unless I can be sure they are pasturized (like my Feta from the grocery store that says it's pasturized on the package). The risk is from Listeria which if you get can make you very sick (pregnant or not), but if you get it while pregnant, you can miscarry or lose the baby, even into the 2nd trimester. The good news is that heating or other processing kills Listeria, so it's ok to have melted blue cheese on a steak or blue cheese dressing that has been processed.

She told me not to worry about my Mammogram and X-Ray. She said that radiation in early pregnancy can cause miscarriage, but since I didn't, nothing to worry about now. It's an "all or nothing" type of risk. She said MRI's are fine and if I need a breast MRI during pregnancy, it would be perfectly safe.

Finally we had the ultrasound. The baby did look much larger than last time. It measured just a hair over 2 cm and appears to have a head area and a body (approximately equal sizes). Upon closer examination, the heart was still happily beating away. My placenta is high up (good) and probably posterior (back of the uterus). We got to see the cord also. As we were looking the baby twitched, so it's beginning to have movement. At this stage it's mostly trunk and torso movements because the arms and legs aren't fully extended yet. Although at the very end we saw a tiny arm fly up like it was waving to us. I think it looks mostly like an alien pinto bean, but I'm sure it will get cuter.

8 Weeks, 1 Day (4 days later)

2007-10-16T09:11:00.001-05:00

I wrote this last Friday (8 weeks, 1 day), but never got around to posting. So here’s how I felt at 8 weeks. I also took a belly picture that day and uploaded it finally last night.

Here is the comparison between my 8 week symptoms with Grace and 8 week symptoms with #2 (I need a better name.)

Last time my symptoms included:
• Nausea (worst between 8 and11 a.m.) – This time I am generally more queasy than nauseous, but mostly an overwhelming “blah” sensation. It does seem to get worse if I’m hungry, but then I feel less like eating. I feel the best right after lunch, but then I get extremely tired. UPDATED: Now closer to 9 weeks, we’ve moved from queasy to nauseous. Uggh.
• I had lost 2 to 3 pounds. – No losing weight. I’ve gained about 3 pounds. Not an obscene amount, but still going the opposite direction.
• Bra size increased by 1 cup size. – This time it doesn’t seem as noticeable, although Eric’s made some comments. I haven’t switched to a bigger size or anything. UPDATED: Had some growth since last Friday. I think I wore my favorite black push-up bra for the last time this week.
• Fast growing fingernails. – This time I haven’t really noticed any abnormal growth.
• Wanted more carbs and milk, but less protein. – This time I haven’t noticed anything out of the ordinary, except I want my food to be very flavorful. Sodium sounds good. I had to get Chinese the other day and alfredo sauce sounds wonderful. No problems eating any kind of meat. I haven’t really been drinking milk either, although I had cereal a couple days this week and did have some milk and graham crackers for a snack one night.
• Slight constipation – This time I have no noticeable constipation. If anything I’ve been incredibly regular
• Fatigue – worse after lunch and right at 5 pm. – This time it’s getting bad. I would die for a nap everyday, but life doesn’t really allow for that. I am barely on time for work in the mornings (can’t get out of bed). I also catch myself drifting off while watching TV which I never used to do.
• Increased emotionalism. This time nothing really obvious. Although, the dog has been incredibly annoying lately. I find myself snapping at Grace when she’s whiney, and I think I’m complaining a lot at work about feeling icky. UPDATED – I’m more cranky with Eric too. He’s kind of walking on egg shells.
• Acne (a couple of blemishes) – This time, thankfully, no problems.
• Felt like waistline was expanding – This time I have pulled out my “fat pants” from after I had Grace. I also made a purchase and pulled all my maternity clothes out. I’m going to put it off until my regular pants don’t fit, but expect I only have 2 more weeks or so. Although, last night I think I felt my uterus. It was a hard roundish surface just at my bikini line. Funny, that isn’t where my pants are getting tight… UPDATED – I’m on my last days of non-maternity wear.

Also, a new symptom this time is that I’ve been having sexual dreams. I’m not overly interested when I’m awake, but I dream a lot at night. Good dreams. 

I have my first OB appointment on Wednesday. I’m really excited about this pregnancy with Dr. B. I’ll update with the details hopefully before the end of the weekend.

6 Weeks, 1 Day

2007-09-28T19:15:00.000-05:00

I'm going to attempt weekly updates. Mostly because I love how well documented my first pregnancy was and I don't want Baby #2 to feel jipped that he/she didn't get enough press. However, you know how sporadic my posting has been since I started school, so don't expect too much.

Also, last time I gave all kinds of information from the internet and other sources about where we were in development. If that's what you want, you can look at other informational sites. This time, I'm going to tell you how I feel each week and then compare what I feel this time to how I felt last time.

First story. On Wednesday evening I started noticing random pains on my left side (near where I would expect my ovary to be). I wouldn't describe it as cramping, it was sharper. It wasn't take your breath away pain, but I noticed it, so I told Eric if it continued I would call the doctor in the morning. I was slightly concerned about the possibility of an eptopic pregnancy and since I'm already down an ovary, I didn't want to take the chance of losing a tube too. Next morning pains were continuing, so I called. After speaking with the nurse who relayed my concerns to my doctor, they called me back. Dr. B was not very concerned, especially because I have had no bleeding or spotting, but they did have an 11:15 a.m. cancellation, so they could fit me in for a scan if I wanted to. I did. So Eric and I trekked to the doctor. I joked that they were going to think of me as "that patient" you know the one who imagines up a new ailment every week. I'm just a lot more cautious than I used to be. So, Dr. B came in and was extremely nice and not at all judgemental about my call. She told us that all we were looking for in the ultrasound was a gestational sac, maybe a yolk sac, and that it was in the uterus. I had already warned Eric that 6 weeks is borderline about being able to see a heartbeat on ultrasound. She started the scan and immediately located my sac safe in the uterus. Then she scanned over to my ovary and I have a 2 cm corpus luteum cyst. She didn't seem concerned and after further research I have found that these can range from less than 2 cm to 6 cm and aren't technically classified as an ovarian cyst unless they are over 3 cm. She said it was probably making my ovary heavy and as things push on it or it twists, I feel the pain. I'm just supposed to limit my "bouncy" exercise or contact sports. Then we scanned back over to the sac. It measured about right for my estimated gestation, but she said things are too small to get a very accurate dating measurement (we'll do that at my normal first appointment), then as we looked closer we saw the flicker of a tiny heartbeat. It was cool to see we've reached that milestone. Dr. B then went on to say seeing the heartbeat this early is great news and that it further lowers our risk of first trimester miscarriage to about 5% (versus 25%). Yay! So, not planned, but a good appointment.

I've started a flicker set (album) for this pregnancy. All that's in there so far is a picture of the pregnancy test and my 5 week belly picture. Click here. I'll work on setting something up in the sidebar.

Ok, so how I'm feeling. It's crazy, but I swear my pants are already getting tighter. I've only gained 1 pound though, so it can't be overeating. Maybe things really do happen faster the second time? The tiredness is just starting to set in. It actually is worse in the morning, it takes me an hour or two to start feeling normal. I'm also really tired after eating. I can't say if I'm nauseous yet. It's weird, I don't feel good, but not like I want to puke either. Just very "blah". At least I'm not puking yet. Hopefully not at all. Also, my breasts are extremely tender, although I don't feel like they have grown much.

Compared to Grace's pregnacy at 6 weeks?
- I mentioned losing my appetite and turning down ice cream. I have been eating, but sometimes nothing sounds good (even if I'm hungry), so I don't eat. I did turn down fudge today, sweets just didn't sound appealing.
- I mention a strong sense of smell. This is definately true too. I had to make Eric move to the other end of the couch earlier this week when he was eating a brat that was just too stinky.
- I talk about total exhaustion. I didn't think this was as bad this time, but today especially is bad. I went to be before 11 last night and still couldn't drag myself out until 7. I was dying for a nap after lunch and tonight I did doze during an episode of Dora the Explorer (Grace was laying with me on the couch).
- I mentioned being cranky. I haven't really noticed this one yet. Except that I have been a bit more short-tempered with Grace in the evenings when she starts getting whiny because she's tired.
- I had my first wave of nausea send me to the bathroom, just in case, at 5w4days. Not yet.

That's all for now!

Hawaii Trip - September 7 through 15th

2007-09-23T08:27:00.001-05:00

Hilton Hawaiian Village
Originally uploaded by Jenmomma

Ok, so it's been a week, but at least with this recap also comes 149 photos. Check it out in the Hawaii Vacation set in Flickr (click on photo)

Thursday is really when everything got started, because Wednesday was my last day in the office. I took Grace to her Speech Therapy appointment at 7:30 a.m. and then dropped her off at the daycare. That gave me about an hour until my 9:30 a.m. MRI. I grabbed a breakfast sandwhich and headed to the hospital. I was there by 9 a.m., so I headed up to the lab to get my bloodwork done. That went quickly and I was in the Radiology department by 9:15 a.m. We did all the paperwork, changed clothes and they told me the MRI would last 30-45 minutes. Sure enough, I finished up there at about 10:45 a.m. Then I had to drive to another building on the hospital campus for my mammogram scheduled at 11:00 a.m. I got there in time, but realized I left my previous films in the car, so had to go back to the garage, so I was running a little late from that appointment. Got through that one, dressed again and had to go downstairs to register for my Chest X-Ray (11:30). Didn't get done with that one until about 12:15 p.m. Next I had to go to the airport to pick up my Mom. Her plane landed while I was waiting to get my x-ray. I got her, we grabbed lunch on the go, and then swung by the daycare to get Grace. I dropped them off at home and then had to drive 45 minutes to a client appointment at 2:30 p.m. It finished at a reasonable time and I was home by 5:30 p.m. The evening was spent getting ready to go. I didn't get to the suitcases until 10:00 p.m. I had to give my Mom all the instructions about Grace's schedule and important info. I had 5 e-bay auctions end that I had to figure out how to get there stuff shipped (thank's Mom), and I had to pay the bills that would be due while we were gone. Whew!

After my hectic day on Thursday, I was glad for vacation to officially start on Friday. Our plane left at 9 a.m. Eastern time. We had about 90 minutes layover in Minneapolis and had a nice lunch with my coworker and her husband (also on the trip). Then we had an 8 hour flight to Honolulu. I didn't sleep much on the plane, but it was nice. We brought headphones and the seats all had there own TV's and a good selection of movies. I read a book, watched Pirates of the Carribean 3 and In Her Shoes. Our flight landed about 3 p.m. Hawaii time (6 hours behind us). It took a while to get off the plane (we had some hydrolic issues in flight and had to be towed to the gate after landing). Then getting our bags took forever (huge plane!) and we rented a car (Mustang hardtop), so the car rental place takes a while too. By the time we got to the hotel and checked in it was 6:45 p.m. We asked about food and the front desk clerk made us a 7:00 reservation. Just enough time to drop our bags and head down. Charity and Jeff joined us and we ate at The Golden Dragon (chinese). The food was so expensive! It was just normal Chinese food, but it cost about $80 for Eric and I and we weren't even drinking alcohol. Good thing work was paying! After a relaxed dinner, we went back upstairs and unpacked, got settled. Didn't go to bed until 9:45 p.m (3:45 a.m. our time!).

Turns out staying up late the first night is the best thing you can do. Saturday we managed to sleep until 5:30 a.m.! We got dressed and went down for the breakfast buffet in the hotel restaurant ($52!). Then we headed to the Convention Center to register for the conference. We must have arrived around 7:30 a.m., but it still took us about an hour and a half to stand in line and get registered. Eric wasn't feeling well, he thought he might be getting another kidney stone, so after registration we went back to the hotel. Our original plan was to go to Pearl Harbor, but we didn't think it was wise to stray far from the hotel. He toughed it out for a few hours and then started feeling better. We just hung out on Waikiki Beach at the hotel and relaxed for the day. The CPCU Conferment Ceremony was at 4:30 p.m. on Saturday, so we got dressed up and went back to the convention center. It was a nice ceremony. There was good entertainment (little girls hula dancing, a Hawaiian female vocalist group, the King's Guard rifle troup). Then the keynote speaker was Erik Weihenmayer who was the blind man that climbed Mount Everest. Really good speaker and very funny. After the ceremony, Charity and Jeff had dinner with one of her clients that was there. Eric and I went to the Congratulatory reception for a little while, but with 3,900 new designees, there were too many people for me, so we left shortly after and went to dinner at the Kobe Japanese steakhouse across from the hotel.

Sunday we just grabbed some muffins and drinks from the convenience store for breakfast, then headed back to the convention center for the Keynote speaker and Opening session. It wasn't quite as exciting as the conferment ceremony, but the keynote speaker was James Bradley (author of Flags of Our Fathers). I'm not overly intersted in history, so I probably didn't get as much out of it as the history buffs would have. After the opening we headed back and got into our beach wear. Then we drove to Hanuama Bay. It's this really beautiful nature preserve with an amazing reef and snorkeling. We rented snorkeling gear and spent a couple hours floating around the reef and looking at the fish. There were so many and such gorgeous colors all very close to shore and in very shallow water. It was the best snorkeling I'd ever done! There wasn't food on the beach though, so around 1:30, I was starving and ready to leave and get some food. We did and just went back to the hotel to hang out until our evening event. There was a reception for my company in one of the suites in our building. We had 29 designees from all over the company, so they had snacks and drinks for us all. We also received a signed book from the new CPCU president who happens to work at my company. After the reception we went down for dinner with Jeff and Charity. We went to the Villiage Steak and Seafood restaurant. I had a nice steak and Eric had lobster. Yum! Then we met up with one of Charity's other friends at an outdoor bar for some more conversation and drinks (funny after my glass of wine, I didn't feel right, so I just drank water, maybe I knew I was pregnant?). I was so tired by the time they closed at 11 p.m., so we headed to bed.

Monday, we did breakfast at the buffett again, and then spent the morning wondering around all the hotel shops looking at some souveniers. We found a couple of good things. Then we went back to the convention center for the seminar, "Aligning your Passions with Your Career." There were some interesting tips and a workbook, so maybe Eric will do it soon. I feel like I'm already working towards my ideal career. That seminar was over at noon, so we went back, changed and then left for the North Shore. We stopped at several beaches. The first one was my favorite. The water was warm and gentle. You could just bob in place for hours, but it was the first one, so we moved on. We got in the water at Bonzai and were quickly knocked down and realized we aren't cut out to be body surfers. We went up and spent a little time at sunset beach, but decided we didn't want to wait around until sunset, so we started heading back to towards the town of Haleiwa to look for a beach with a shower to change for dinner. We ended up finding one and after we cleaned up as best we could and put on real clothes, we watched a beautiful sunset (pictures included). Then we went into town and ate at a local place, Pizza Bob's although we both got burgers. Then we headed home.

Tuesday was the last day of the conference, but we didn't have anything until the evening. We walked to a local McDonald's for breakfast (I started feeling guilty about the $52 buffet). Then we drove to Diamond Head and hiked to the top for a spectacular view. Then we drove over to the East side of the island which is more rainforest like. We went to Pali Lookout which had some gorgeous views and then to Kailua Beach which was another fun one to hang out in. That evening, we had the "Final Night Celebration." Again, there were 7,000 people at this conference, so once we got there there were lines everywhere and it was just so crowded. The food was set up in stations with a different food (small serving) at each station. We went through one food line and walked around a bit before deciding to leave. Then for our last night in Honolulu we went back to the Kobe Steakhouse (I love Hibatchi).

Wednesday we were up bright and early to check out, return the rental car and head to the airport. Our flight to Maui left at 9:35 a.m. Once we got there and picked up our new rental car (this time a Sebring convertible) and got to the hotel, it was close to noon, but they had our room ready and let us check in early. This hotel, was not nearly as nice as the Hilton, but it was a place to leave our stuff and sleep (although we did sleep in separate beds since the room was equiped with 2 full size beds). After checking in we drove down the south shore line and checked out several beaches. They were nice, but for some reason, I like the Oahu beaches better. We came back to the hotel, showered, and then drove 30 minutes to the town of Lahaina which was a very cute historic town. They had lots of shops and restaurants. We ate at Moose McGuillicuddy's which was a funky place that again had great burgers.

Thursday we did the drive to Hana. We started around 9 a.m. and hit the town of hana around 1 p.m. The drive is only 45 miles, but with all the twists and turns, one-lane bridges, and waterfalls and scenic lookouts to stop out, it takes 3 to 4 hours. It was so fun. That part of the island is like a rainforest. In fact in rained 4 times on the way down. Once we got to Hana we found a sandwich place for lunch, checked out Hamoa Beach and then continued the drive to see the best waterfalls of all. I drove back and it didn't take nearly as long because we didn't stop on the way back, but boy are those curves scary! On the way back we saw another cool beach with tons of surfers. We got some pictures of them. Wow, they must be brave. Once we got back and showered, we set out in search of a Mexican restaurant (I think I was in Chipotle withdrawl). We found a decent place that was a mix between fast food and set down. You ordered at the counter, but they had a full menu. I wasn't feeling too great, so afterwards we just went back to sleep.

Friday morning we got up at 2:00 a.m. and checked out of the hotel. We drove to Haleakala Crater to watch the sunrise. We were the second car in the parking lot at 3:30 a.m. It was so cold up there (30 degrees), so we stayed in the car until about 4:15 a.m. when lots of others started showing up, so we thought we should go get a good spot. Luckily we packed for the cold. I was wearing jeans, a t-shirt, long-sleeve t-shirt, sweatshirt, gloves, and stocking hat, plus I brought a small blanket. It was still cold. It started getting light around 5 a.m., but sunrise officially was around 6:10 a.m. The pictures are gorgeous, however, at the time, I was just cold and tired, so don't think I enjoyed it as much as I should have. After sunrise, we walked around a bit and stopped a few scenic spots on the way down the mountain. We got back to town around 8 a.m. so went to Denny's for breakfast. After breakfast we didn't know what to do, so we decided to turn in the car and see if we couldn't get an earlier flight back to Honolulu (we were scheduled for 2:45 p.m.). We got to the airport at around 10:00 and were able to get on a 10:30 a.m. flight. We thought we were running late (got our boarding passes at 10:15), so we ran like idiots and ended up embarrassing ourselves by running down the jetbridge to try to catch the plane (no one was at the gate), only to find out the plane at the end had just landed and was ready to deplane, ours hadn't started boarding yet. Once we got to Honolulu we had another problem in that one of our bags didn't make the flight. That was resolved however, when it arrived on the 12:30 p.m. flight. Whew. We got dinner at the airport, read some books, sat around, and finally left at 5:20 p.m. We attempted sleep on the plane.

Saturday morning we arrived in Minneapolis at 5:46 a.m. Central time. We got breakfast and settled in at the next gate to wait on our flight. Flight left at 9:01 a.m. and we finally landed at home around noon.

So that's the end. Lot's of good food, I read 5 books! and we visited lots of beaches. Just what a Hawaiian vacation should be.

Three Happy Results

2007-09-16T21:48:00.000-05:00

I promise to update on vacation to Hawaii as soon as I get pictures downloaded, in the mean time...

1. When I got home, I checked my grade in Organic Chemistry 2 and manged to get an "A". Yay!
2. I checked the mail when I got home and had my mammogram results. "Normal." This is good because...
3. I'm pregnant.

Yes, that's right, I'm a bit shocked, so let me give you the back story. As I previously mentioned, I got my IUD removed on August 1st. When I started my cycle on August 18th, Eric and I discussed going ahead and starting to try this month. We had been shooting for starting during our Hawaii trip, but we knew that I'd already be past the prime time by the time we left. So we discussed trying before Hawaii. The only downside was the fact that I was going to be getting the MRI, Mammogram, and Chest X-Ray right before leaving. So I did some research about the effects during early pregnancy (just in case). What I found was that MRI's have not been found to have any negative effects on pregnancy (they don't use radiation). The amount of radiation from a chest x-ray and mammogram is approximately .21 mGy. The amount of radiation shown to cause effects in a pregnancy is 50 mGy (my procedure times 250). Also, radiation is most harmful between 8 and 25 weeks gestation. At most when I had the tests done, I was 3 weeks pregnant, so we took the chance, assuming it would take a couple months anyway.

Fast forward to our Hawaii trip. I knew to expect my period on Friday. I had charted this cycle and knew when I ovulated and even took my thermometer with me. On Friday morning my temperature was still up, but we got up really early that day and then began our trip home. We flew overnight, so Saturday morning I awoke on the plane and didn't get to temp. After coming home and taking a nap, I started obsessing about taking a test on Sunday morning. I knew I would think about it until morning, so I decided to go ahead and test that afternoon, and when it was negative would be able to stop thinking about it for a few days. Imagine my shock as I watched the color move across the test window and the plus sign immediately appear.

I got Grace up from her nap and found my Mom had went to the grocery store. Eric was napping on the couch and I was going to wake him up, but then I heard the garage door, so I waited. He slept for 2 more hours! Finally after he woke up and Mom was in the kitchen, I told him I had a surpise. "I'm pregnant." He was very surprised but very happy. He then told me I had to go tell my Mom. I told her and she was very excited too. We called my Dad in China and told him and I called my girlfriends and told them (except for Samara, I made plans to see her today, so I could tell her in person.)

Wow! I'm still a little shocked. I never expected it to happen this fast, but I thank God for allowing this to happen. We didn't know if I would be able to have babies after chemo and then there's the fact that I lost an ovary a couple months ago. We truely are blessed.

I'll try to update a bit more frequently now, but for now, that's the news!

Once Again, I Apologize

2007-09-03T11:48:00.001-05:00

I promise my intention has never been to let posting get sporadic, but it seems these days I have so much going on in my daily life, that I never feel I have enough free time to blog. Makes me a little sad though because I love the idea of a journal that I can look back at what's been happening in my life.

So, again, here are some highlights from the last 6 weeks.

School
As I mentioned in my last post, my teacher is not the greatest. I did manage to get a 90% (after the curve) on that first test. However, tests #2 & 3 were only 88 & 83%. Luckily after test 3, the prof decided he will drop our lowest test score, so if I get a 92% on my final (this Wednesday) I could still pull off an A. Otherwise, I'll be looking at my first B. I should be studying now. That's next on the list after this entry. Next quarter I'll be taking my first Organic Chemistry lab. That starts on T&Th starting September 20th. Good news, after Wednesday, I will have completed 7 of the 13 prerequisite classes for med-school. Over 1/2 way!

GWO's
The weekend of July 19-22 I had a GWO. This one was in Lafayette. I have been budgeting for these, but need to get better at sticking to the budget. This time everything I purchased was less than $10, but I guess multiple items, even if inexpensive add up. It was as always a needed good time. Next one is scheduled in October. It will be interesting. Samara gets to go this time and we're bringing all the kids! Jamie's son (Danialle's nephew) Coen is having his 1st birthday party and I think there will be costumes and a big Halloween themed party. Also, very exciting it will be held in Erica's new home (she closes end of September).

House Sale
Speaking of new living arrangements. We have decided on the apartment/townhome we will be living in when the time comes. We decided on the one with the attached garage and no basement. I just liked the living space better and the community and overall think it will be a better fit for our family. I had hoped we'd be there before the pool closes for the season, but seeing how it's now September, we may have to wait until next summer for that feature. I am still optimistic about the sale of our house. We have now been on the market for just over 11 weeks. In that time we have had 16 showings and 1 open house. Three of the 16 showings were 2nd showings. We have also had 1 offer. We made a couple of counters, but I don't think the buyers could really afford the house, so that didn't work out. The offer was 3 weeks ago (4 showings since then), so I'm hoping for another one soon.

Softball
Our softball season ended on 7/29 with us winning the tournament for the 2nd year in a row. We only lost one regular season game, so it was fun. It makes me feel active, so I really enjoy playing. Grace behaves herself too playing with her friend Evan.

Medical
On August 1st, I had my IUD removed. I got a little freaked out for a moment, because I had recently started tracking my cycles again to be sure I am ovulating now that I'm off Tamoxifen and with only one ovary. Eric and I had only considered using alternative protection after the IUD was out, so when I realized I was going to be getting the IUD out on day 14 of my cycle I wondered if our actions prior to that date could have resulted in a "whoops." I did discuss with the doctor though and she seemed pretty confident that the IUD also works as a spermicide, so while there was a slim chance, it was very slim indeed. And sure enough, a couple weeks later it was confirmed that no accidents happened.

Garage Sale
I organized a community garage sale for the weekend of August 10&11. We ended up with about 8 families on the culdesac participating. Traffic wasn't as high as I would have liked, but I did sell alot of stuff. I had a ton to sell. Once we move, I will have one less living room, no basement, and one less bedroom, so downsizing is key. I made just over $1,000 during those two days and sold a couple of big items (2 leather recliners, tall bookshelf, small entertainment center, 32" TV, barstools, living room tables, and lamps). However, I still had lots of big stuff left (couch, chair, loveseat, oak entertainment center, futon, desk, 2 short bookshelves, 2 media shelves, treadmill, weight bench). I put the big stuff on Craigslist and have since gotten rid of the futon, desk, and all shelves. I've had a couple of leads on the living room furiniture, but right now it looks like my mother-in-law may buy it from us. I also am hoping a lead at work might help me unload the treadmill. It feels good to watch stuff leave and watch the money go in the bank.

Financials
We didn't do a great job in August at sticking to the budget when it comes to food. We're going to try much harder in September. But because of the Garage Sale, I didn't have to dig into the emergency fund and kept paying extra on the snowball. I'm pleased to say that in October we will make the final payment on Eric's student loan and will have paid off the fifth credit card or installment loan since February. We've reduced the debt by just over $12,000 now, so I can't complain. If we can be in the new apartment by February, we could be completly debt free by December 2009.

Grace
Wow. I don't have a baby anymore. Grace is definately growing up and she's hilarious. We're starting to be a bit more lenient on her bedtime, now it's sometimes after 8 p.m. before we get her to bed, but she's just so fun, I don't want to quit playing either. Over the last week or so, we've tried to put a focus on potty training, but she's so stubborn. She never wants to sit on the potty for me. I started giving her M&M's for just sitting on the potty and a hershey's kiss or similar type candy if she goes on the potty. I put her in underwear for a weekend and she would cry if she had an accident, but she never asked to go (I had to beg her to sit and then she would only sit for as long as I made her before she could qualify for an M&M). Then as the day went on, even the promise of an M&M wasn't enough to get her to sit. She would just say no and cry if I tried to make her. Maybe she's not ready? They say don't force it, so I guess I won't. It would be nice to stop buying diapers though.

Also, on August 16th Grace started speech therapy. She goes for 30 minutes every Thursday. The first week was mostly playing, but the last week she really started making progress. One of the key things we are trying to do is get her to keep the air out of her nose when she talks. We've been practicing directing the air through her mouth by blowing on things. She's not very good yet, but if you hold her nose, she can do a good job. We try to blow kleenex across the table, we have a pinwheel, whistles/horns, and just last night found a toy harmonica you have to blow to play. Last week we also started trying to work on the "k" and "g" sounds. She uses her tounge on the front of mouth for these, not the back, so they more like "n" or "m" sounds. This one's harder for me to work on at home, but I feel like Alicia (the therapist) knows what she's doing.

COMING UP
We've still got alot going on in the next two weeks. This weekend we're enjoing the rest. Then our schedule goes a little something like this:

Tuesday
Work & Study for Final
Wednesday
Work
Final Exam
Laundry and Start Packing
Thursday
7:30 - 8:00 Grace's Speech Therapy
9:30 Breast MRI
11:15 Bilateral Mammogram
11:45 Chest X-Ray
(sometime at the hospital, I need to go get some bloodwork done too)
11:58 - Mom's flight arrives
Take Mom by the house
2:30 - 5? Client Meeting (45 minutes away from home)
Finish packing and go over all instructions with Mom
Friday
9:05 a.m. Depart for Hawaii!

I will be in Hawaii from the 7th to the 15th. Mom is staying at our house with Grace. I can't wait. Wednesday, September 19th, I have my 2 year appointment with Dr. L. Hopefully, after that, I can start filling my blog with TTC posts. Hopefully, the lab won't be as study intensive as regular class (yeah right!).

Later!

Why I Need a Sick Day to Study for Organic Chemistry

2007-07-16T19:26:00.000-05:00

Excerpt from tonight's review class:
"Well, those aromatic spices were worth more than gold. That is if you talk about price per pound. So you could fill a boat with spices or gold, but you need a big boat for spices, because they are more bulky. You could probably fit the gold in a rowboat. But then how do you get a rowboat back from Borneo? The pirates would kill you. So, you need a bigger boat."

I think self-study may be the way to go this quarter.

Last Day

2007-07-11T21:19:00.001-05:00

I just wanted to share that today was my last day taking Tamoxifen. So, I may have moved up the quitting a little, but I have good reasoning. I assume that I will get the "all-clear" to resume family planning in early September. Being a planner, I have an appointment to have my IUD removed on August 1st. Now, we certainly do not intend to get pregnant in August, I'm fully supportive of doing one final round of exams before that, but without pretty much guaranteed birth control, we decided that I would stop taking the tamoxifen when I got the IUD out. That way, if there is an accident, the worst that happens is that I don't get to have another mammogram, MRI, and Chest X-ray before we start. I won't have to worry about birth defects or worse because of my medication. So, that was the plan, but today I ran out of pills and just decided I didn't want to get my Rx filled again for these last 2 1/2 weeks.

Before anyone says I should have taken it longer, remember my doctors were on the fence about if I needed it anyway. I have faith that we've been very proactive in fighting off my cancer. I know it could come back, but if it does, I won't beat myself up about quitting the tamoxifen 6 weeks early than my doctor said I could. I'm ready for cancer to be a closed chapter in my life. I'm ready to get back to the fun stuff!

Speaking of fun stuff, I have some really adorable pictures of Grace, including one of her holding a kitten, riding on a kiddie 4-wheeler with her cousin Logan, and wearing silk pajamas that Grandpa sent her from China. However, my camera program just locked up and will require me to reboot the computer, so those will have to wait for another night.

Oh one more note. Our house is still on the market. No offers yet, but we have had 5 showings in the past 3 1/2 weeks. We have faith that when the time is right it will sell and while we sacrifice some space, we'll be able to focus on our debt-free goal and help secure our family's future.

For Sale

2007-07-01T20:10:00.000-05:00

Things have been very busy around our household. Eric and I had been discussing for a while and have decided to put our house on the market. It's a scary step but we believe it is a commitment to what we are working for in our future.

We've decided that we will go back to apartment living for the foreseable future (think until I've completed my residency after med school). For the next 2-3 years, the advantage will be that we can hopefully save between $300-$400 more a month by renting. We'll use that extra money to work on our debt. Right now we expect to be completely debt free by May 2010 and I expect to start med school in August 2010. However, hopefully we can move the debt free date up a bit if we free up some money in the budget. However, there are a couple other factors that may effect that. First of all, I may have mentioned that I got a promotion at work, however, last week I finally discussed the details and was told that even though they moved me up a level in title, my company doesn't do salary increases mid-term. I don't agree, but what can I do? And no, I can't turn down the promotion. It's already been processed. As a result, I no longer receive overtime and my first check on straight pay only was $120 less than what I usually budget. Meaning I have to find an extra $240 per month in my budget. Add to this that hopefully in about a year, I'll have 2 kids in daycare. Not sure what that does to the budget, so basically we're looking for any opportunity now to work on paying off the bills. So far since, February we've decreased the debt by just over $10,000 so we are on the right track!

Anyway, we put the house up for sale 2 weeks ago. We met with the realtor on a Thursday night, had a sign in the yard on Friday and on Saturdy got a call for a showing on Sunday. I spent all evening Saturday and morning Sunday until the showing cleaning! Since then, we've had 3 more showings, so 4 in 2 weeks seems pretty good. No offers yet, but I'm hoping traffic will eventually mean an offer. My house is cleaner than it's ever been as I've been obsessively cleaning. We've also been spending alot of time the last two weeks looking for apartments and I've started making lists of stuff to sell. I'm organizing a multi-family/community yard sale to help us downsize.

We're not sure where we're going to live yet. Right now we're between 2 townhomes. One has an attached garage, pool, and fitness center. The other has a partially finished basement with large utility room. We are having trouble deciding if the extra room is more important than the community amenities and an apartment that we just like better.

I also started school again last week. I'd like to say I've been studying, but not so much. I promise next week, I'll buckle down!

Can't think of much else going on. GWO was great as always and I'll see them again in later July. The family is good. Grace is still adorable and growing up so quickly. Eric is doing good too. In just 2 months we get to go to Hawaii and I can't wait.

Ok, stuff to do. More later!

Catching Up

2007-05-30T19:20:00.000-05:00

I know it's been awhile and alot has happened in the last 2 months. I'm going to try to update as much as possible. Also, if you didn't scroll down, I posted some pictures in Flickr (links below).

First of all, work is going really well. I finally got my promotion and am officially an Assistant Vice President. I think I may soon be getting a functional promotion too. My office head has sat down with me and talked about restructuring our department and I will be one of the senior people in our department and will have some management responsibility. I haven't got the nerve up to ask what kind of raise comes with this promotion, but I plan on it.

In my last post, I mentioned that I was having a follow-up ultrasound of my cyst. The ultrasound was on Friday, March 30th and I didn't think anything of it. However, on Tuesday afternoon I got a call from Dr. B's office telling me that the cyst hadn't really changed in size, but now had "septations" and they wanted me to come in the following morning to do some blood work for "tumor markers" and to talk to Dr. B about removal. So, the next morning Eric and I went to visit Dr. B and she told me that basically they would expect a cyst to change over the course of a month if it were cyclical. She said that mine hadn't really gotten larger or smaller, but now was building walls inside itself and compartmentalizing. That gave them cause for concern, so they took some blood to look for elevated tumor markers and then Dr. B said they wanted to remove the cyst. If my levels were ok, Dr. B would do the surgery and try to remove the cyst, but if necessary she might have to remove my ovary also. She told me that they would schedule the surgery for after my vacation. However, if my levels were elevated, we would have to consult with a Gynecological Oncologist and they would do the surgery. A few days later, my blood test results came in and thankfully, my levels were normal, so we had a good feeling that this cyst wasn't cancer.

Friday April 13th we left for our vacation in the Dominican Republic. The whole family drove over to Bloomington, IN to drop Grace off. Eric's mom stayed at Kyle's with Ashton, Logan, and Grace for the whole week. After Donna arrived and Kyle and Leslie finished their packing, we rode with them up to Chicago to Leslie's mom's house (Sue and Rick). We ordered the biggest pizza I'd ever seen and tried to head to bed early. Saturday morning a limo picked us up at the house at 4 a.m. We had a 6 a.m. flight to Punta Cana. The travel agency had booked direct charter flights from O'Hare. We arrived in Punta Cana just before noon and then had to take an hour bus-ride to our resort. We checked in and the place was awesome. However, when we first arrived at the hotel and started unpacking we could hear the family next door. They had a 20 month old little girl with them and she was crying. The walls were thin and we decided we didn't travel that far to listen to a crying 2 year old, so we asked for a room change. Since I didn't write out all the details a month ago, I'll just sum it up to say that it was the most awesome vacation. I got a free pool-side massage, we took a free scuba lesson in the pool, participated in water arobics, and generally just hung out in the pool. We had a spa credit, so I used it to get a real massage one day and I also got my hair braided (which believe it or not, I really liked). We played in the waves in the ocean and did an excursion where we took a catamaran out in the ocean and snorkeled both in the open ocean and then in a corral with nurse sharks and sting rays. I missed Grace, but by the end of the week, I was truely relaxed and hadn't been that relaxed in a really long time.

Once we got back from the Dominican, I had a flurry of doctor's appointments. Dr. B ordered another repeat ultrasound to be sure my cyst was still there, I had to do pre-admission testing, and then finally my surgery was on Friday, April 27. While I was under, they biopsied my cysts and thankfully, we found out that they were benign. However, it wasn't clear before the biopsy if they were benign, so Dr. B removed my right ovary. She thought it was too big a risk to try to remove the cysts without spilling any fluid. My fallopian tube was in great shape, so they left it (apparently even with one ovary, you can get pregnant in either tube!). I was told that my fertility shouldn't be effected by only having one ovary, so I basically just lost my spare.

I've also got to see my parents a couple of times. My Mom came and stayed for a long weekend after my surgery. Then the weekend of May 18th, I took Grace and went to Grandma's house to deliver on her Christmas present. My parents, brother, and I did an "Extreme Makeover" to Grandma's sewing room. Dad and Jeremy tore out the carpet and put down a wood floor, replaced the ceiling fan with a huge light, build a counter extension to the sewing machine table, assembled 2 shelving units, and a bookcase. Mom and I with Grandma's assistance went through everything in the room and organized it. Grandma did part with some items, but everything that she kept is labled and organized, so she can now use her space and hopefully find everything. Unless you'd seen the room before and after, you can't begin to comprehend what a huge project this was. I think she was really happy with the finished project.

After that weekend, Mom and Dad drove on over to Columbus to stay with us for the week. Grace got to stay home all week and Grandpa gave her lots of presents from his recent trip to China. Grace loves presents! Grace also got one of her Christmas presents of a swingset and sandbox. She loves swinging especially.

Last weekend we just chilled at home, with the only excitement being Ava's 2nd Birthday party. I just love that our little girls are friends. Grace loves going to see Ava and they are so cute together.

I promise to try to do better at updating (as always!). It takes too long to do these super long updates! My next big event is GWO in Chicago next weekend. Also, I have my quarterly appointment with Dr. Y on 6/11, so I should have an update about that. Hopefully, this is my last Dr.'s appointment before the September appointments where I should get the go ahead to continue our family!

And Because I know You want Pictures of Grace

2007-05-30T18:24:00.001-05:00

A True Chef
Originally uploaded by Jenmomma

My Mom bought this cute get-up for Grace. I also added some pics of her first fishing trip with Daddy.

Dominican Pictures

2007-05-30T18:21:00.001-05:00

Pool Time
Originally uploaded by Jenmomma

Check out Pics from our Domincan Vacation! Details to Follow.

The Loves of My Life

2007-04-09T19:59:00.001-05:00

100_0033_2
Originally uploaded by Jenmomma.

Just a quick post to let you know I have finally uploaded some pictures. They include Easter and some cute pics I had of Grace from the last month or two. Enjoy! (Click picture to get into my Flickr slideshow).

March Recap

2007-03-25T19:08:00.000-05:00

So maybe, I decided to post once a month...

So, I thought I'd give you an update on most of the events I mentioned last time.

First of all, health updates.
When I saw Dr. Y my last appointment, all went well. He did have me restart the tamoxifen as expected, but we did discuss the timeline and he has now agreed that I will only be taking it until September, so only a few more months until treatment is over and I can move on with my life. He also discussed my CT and while all looked clear he did spot a fluid-density mass measuring 8 cm near my right ovary. He referred me to my GYN for follow-up. She scheduled me for a pelvic ultrasound, and while I was very worried, the results were a cyst measuring about 3 cm, so I think the CT caught me at just the right time in my cycle for a large cyst. 3cm is still on the larger size, so I am having a follow-up ultrasound next week, but I don't have any pain or other side effects, so probably not going to do anything about it.

My port removal went well. No problems at all and I was back at work the next day.

Other events:
1. Samara had her baby! It was another beautiful girl named Clara. Samara came down with a nasty cold/sinus infection, so she post-poned her induction until she felt a little better. The birthdate was 2/28. Samara handles pain like a pro. I got to the hospital about an hour after they started her pitocin and she made it until about noon before she requested her epidural. Clara was born just after 2 p.m. Could have been sooner, but her Dr. was in surgery and had her wait a while on pushing. This birth was so amazing. It was different to experience during the day when everyone is well rested and alert. Also, Samara seemed so different and calm and peaceful compared to Ava's birth. It was like she was made to have beautiful babies. Clara looks just like Ava and seemed to come out so laid back and quiet. Nothing seemed to get her too upset. I've only seen her once since then, but hopefully, Samara will get back into a routine soon and we can try to get together with all the girls. I don't want to stress her out this early.

2. On March 9th, I met my Mom in Minneapolis for a weekend of shopping at the Mall of America. We spent 2 full days at the mall, but planned our shopping to be sure we got the best deals. Friday we hit all the stores except the anchors and Saturday hit the anchors and actually purchased items. We had decided not to buy anything the first day, we just wrote down the stores and the cost of the item if we saw something before then. I got a lot of good deals. I came home with 3 pair of shoes (Black Peep Toe Heels, Red Strappy Heels, and Black Strappy Heels), 1 vacation purse, a bathing suit, black capris, t-shirt, 2 pair denim shorts, and khaki shorts. I came home with $20 in cash, so I stayed completely within my budget. Although Mom bought my dinner on Saturday, so that helped a bit.

3. I finished my Winter Quarter Organic Chemistry course. I'm not sure how close it was, but I managed an A. Now I'm taking off until June to get a little break in the classes. I still have 8 classes to take plus the M-CAT (O-Chem 2 & 3, plus 2 labs, 2 more Bio classes and 2 Physics classes.)

Budgeting is still going well. It takes alot of my free time as I review everything each week to be sure we are doing what we said we would, but I just keep thinking that we'll be out of debt in less than 3 years just in time for us to move to one income.

In 3 weeks, Eric and I are leaving for the Dominican Republic. I can't wait as I need a vacation. Work is going well, but I've been putting in alot of time. I've got alot to get done in the next 3 weeks, but I should be in good shape to catch up this summer.

Ok, I'm supposed to be working tonight, so I better get to it!

6 Weeks

2007-02-18T19:53:00.000-05:00

So, I'd like to apologize for my lack of posting, but it seems that's how I start every post. I don't even think I'll promise to try to do better this time. My excuse will be that I'm living life and frankly sitting at the computer in my basement isn't as appealing to me as curling up on the couch to watch some TV with my hubby, but one day I may look back and wonder what was going on in my life in January 2007. So, here's a brief overview.

Family
Family is good. Grace is really getting into her 2's and acting terrible lots of the time. She follows it up with moments of cuteness though. We're trying really hard to be tough and consistent, but sometimes I wonder if we're screwing it all up. I guess that's how parenting goes, right? It looked so easy when you saw the toddler screaming at the top of his/her lungs at the grocery store before you had your own kids. This weekend she was sick and that was no fun, but tonight she was back to her old self, so I don't think we have to miss any work. Eric is good too. Especially since the Colts won the superbowl!

Trips/Visitors
January 12-16 - We took a trip to Iowa to visit my parents. Well, my Mom at least. The week before Dad found out he had to take a work trip to China, so he wasn't there. This was our first trip with Grace in her own plane seat and it was so much better than riding on my lap. Not sure it was $250 better, but since we didn't have a choice, we appreciated it. Iowa was very cold. We didn't go out except one excursion to the mall and to church, but it was a nice visit with the family.

We did host a superbowl party, since we are ultimate Colt's fans. It was really fun although I didn't spend much time watching the game, since we hosted and there were also several little ones in attendence. In total including our family, we had 18 in attendence. Plus, COLTS WIN!

Last weekend was GWO in Columbus. Samara hosted, so I still got some free time. Thursday night Danialle came in late, so I picked her up at the airport and we stayed at my house. Friday we drove over to Samara and brought Grace to play with Ava. Friday night Danialle took some awesome pregnancy pictures of Samara. Saturday we went to breakfast (I took Grace home) and then went to the mall for some shopping. I was very good and only bought one item. Afterwards we went home to get ready and then had dinner at the Melting Pot. Yum! We came back home and took some more pictures and then Sunday took Danialle back to the airport. Erica came back to my house and I hosted a jewelry party, now that Erica is an Independent Consultant for Premier Designs. I didn't have a huge turn-out, but I did end up with enough sales and bonuses to earn $280 in free jewelry. Awesome!

Work
Work has been better. Still extremely busy, but I'm keeping a positive outlook and trying to stay as organized as possible and communicate with everyone. In January we moved to a new office building which was challenging because our new layout gives everyone less space, but is also kind of fun because everything is new and the new layout is much more open.

On January 26th, I took and passed my final CPCU exam. I've since then got the letter giving me permission to use the designation. So now that that's official, I can begin planning our trip to Hawaii in September. I think we're leaving on a Friday, the conference lasts until Tuesday night and then Eric and I will pay for an extra 2 days and go to Maui. It's so exciting!

Same day as my CPCU exam, my boss told me that she had nominated me to become an AVP (Assistant Vice President). I've wanted this for at least the last 3 years. My nomination was approved by our office head and my department head on a regional level. Next the Zone/Region head has to approve and then it's official. Announcements aren't usually made until April, but it looks positive!

School
Organic Chemistry is going well. I have a good teacher and it's so much easier just doing one class at a time, plus I don't even have a lab this quarter. I've only had 1 test (#2 is on Tuesday), but I got an 87 percent plus he curved it to give me a 93%. I also think he might drop another test or curve the final scores. I think I should do fine.

Health
Dr. L left the surgery practice I had been going to to start her own practice. I followed and got to see her at the end of January. My mammograms looked good and she didn't have any concerns for me. We did decide it's time to get my port out and I have that scheduled for Wednesday, February 21st (yes, this week!). We also discussed my hopeful timeline to start trying to get pregnant this fall (did I mention a trip to Hawaii in September with my husband?). In short, she recommends waiting 2 to 5 years. And while she wasn't super enthusiastic about me pushing the 2 year mark, she said she doesn't have any reason to tell me no. So, the plan will be that the week before I go to Hawaii, she's running a full battery of tests including a breast MRI, Mammogram, and Chest X-Ray along with the normal blood work. I have my 2 year follow-up appointment with her the week after I get back. Assuming all test are clear, I will get the all clear. Yahoo!

I did have another small scare. My periods have been pretty normal over the last year, but this month, I continued spotting after the normal time (12 days total of bleeding). I called my GYN because I remember Dr. Y telling me that Tamoxifen can increase your risk of Endometrial cancer. Short story is that both Dr. Y and Dr. B agreed that "just in case" they should do a biopsy of my endometrium. It was not a comfortable procedure, but I have received results and all was fine. Dr. B assumes the irregular bleeding was a side-effect from my IUD.

Last week, I had my quarterly/semi-annual CT of the chest, abdomen and pelvis and MUGA scan. Tomorrow, I see Dr. Y to review and have our quarterly review. I think I may bring up the Tamoxifen. I stopped it when we were doing the biopsy and I haven't restarted it. At most I will only take it for another 6 months, so I wonder if I really have to take it. I'm tired of being on medication. I'm guessing, he'll say yes, take it as long as I can.

Finances
This one I'm kind of excited about. Heather and Nick had read this book by John Ramsey and last year managed to get out of debt. She had talked about it and I kind of ignored it, but then Danialle and Erica started talking about it too and our church also started giving these classes called "Financial Peace." The church classes sounded great, but always conflicted with my class schedule. They just started a 2nd round of classes and this time I really felt like it was something I needed. So, I bought the book, read it in one day and Eric and are going full force in an effort to be debt free (except for the mortgages) by the time I quit my job and go to school. I wasn't sure how we were going to make it if I quit my job, but now the answer is becoming more clear. We are in the early stages (week 2), but so far, we have made up an unbendable budget. Meaning if something changes mid-month, we have to take the funds out of somewhere else. Also, we pay cash for things like groceries, lunches, eating out, gas for the cars, etc. At the beginning of the period (weekly/biweekly,etc) I get out the cash and put it in envelopes and that's how much we have to spend. When it's gone, it's gone. Next month, I'm paying off my car and then I will be applying my car payment every month to another debt. We've also decided to put every extra dollar into our debt. Meaning overtime, etc. Because it won't affect my plan on when I will start med school, we are also discussing that I take next quarter off of school and work tons of overtime to see if we can't get a few things paid off. Finally, we cut up every single credit card we have. They just aren't there to fall back on now. We have a small "emergency fund" if we have an emergency, but everything else must be budgeted. This year, we shouldn't treat Christmas as an emergency. We're only paying cash! I'll give you updates as we go, but I'm so excited to think we could be debt-free minus the house in less than 3 years. (This includes both of our cars, student loans, and credit cards!)

Upcoming Events
I've got a lot coming up:
1. In the next week or less, Samara is going to have her baby. I've been waiting on the call this weekend, but so far nothing. If she doesn't go on her own, she's being induced on the 26th. I've luckily been offered a spot in the delivery room again, and I can't wait to witness my second birth (not counting when I was doing the pushing!). I'm so lucky my best friend wants me there!
2. Tomorrow, I'm going to see Justin Timberlake in concert with some friends from work. (I already had bought my ticket - pre-budget)
3. March 9th, I'm heading to Minneapolis to meet my Mom for a weekend of shopping at the Mall of America! I'm so excited. I'm pre-planning what I want to buy. Mostly shopping for my upcoming vacation to the Dominican Republic. Again, I've made up my March budget and will be taking cash only to the mall, but enough that I can enjoy the shopping!
4. In mid-April, Eric and I will be going to the Dominican Republic for a full 7 nights with Eric's brother and wife and her Mother and Brother and spouses. It's an all inclusive, so should be very fun with very little to worry about. We're even budgeting for a spa package for me! Can't wait!

I hope I update again before all those upcoming events pass! Ok, I need to go study and see my hubby. Later!

Smarts

2007-01-05T23:25:00.000-05:00

I am such a proud mama. Tonight Grace counted to 10.

Well, sort of. She was looking at the books on her book shelf and I heard her counting. She got to 6 and then skipped 7 and 8 and said 9, 10. I then counted with her and said 7, she followed with 8. So she knows them all and mostly in the right order.

Wow. My baby's not really a baby anymore.

Fear

2007-01-02T09:43:00.000-05:00

This morning when I came to work, I found out that Norma passed away on Saturday. She was one of our Insurance Assistants that was here before I started. I’m not sure when she was first diagnosed with kidney cancer, but I do know she had one kidney removed and seemed to be doing well for a while, before it came back. I watched her go to lots and lots of doctors appointments, we watched as she told us they found tumors in her bones, breasts, brain, spine, and eventually her lungs. She’s been off work since early summer. She always told us she’d come back. In July the doctors told her to contact hospice, but still she held on. She even drove herself downtown to come to our tailgate lunch for the OSU/Michigan game (11/17). She had such an inner beauty and strength. She had faith up until the very end that somehow God would heal her. And today she is gone.

Times like these remind me that cancer is real. It does kill people. People I know, people I like, people I care about. I feel selfish when I think, I just don’t want it to kill me.

Times like these make me sad and afraid. I’ll never be “over” my cancer. It’s not in my body now, but for the rest of my life I must be diligent to be sure it never comes back. The Young Survival Coilition sent me a letter. I don’t remember what it was about. I only remember this line. “The ten year survival rate for women diagnosed with breast cancer under the age of 40, is 50%.” That number scares me. I need to live longer than 10 years. I have plans. I want another baby. I want to finish school. I want to be a doctor. I want to watch my daughter graduate high school, college, and get married. I want to be a grandma. I want to live.

Only 7 days until my next mammogram. I take comfort in the fact that I have doctors checking on me constantly. No more cancer for me.

And A Happy New Year!

2007-01-01T20:18:00.000-05:00

Just returned from our New Year's travels. We drove to Danialle's on Saturday after Eric finished at work and then drove up on New Year's Eve to Erica's for a loy-key evening at home. Saturday Danialle made us meat-eaters some steaks along with mashed potatos and a big salad. After we put Grace to bed, we watched a movie and then hit the sack. Sunday morning we got up, Danialle made breakfast then I showered and dressed while one of Grace's moview was watched. Then we headed to Wal-Mart for a few items. By then it was about lunch time so we picked up lunch before heading home, packing up and heading up to E & E's. When we got there, the guys decided to go to BW3's for a bit and watch the first 1/2 of the Colt's game. Then they picked up some pizza for dinner on the way home. After dinner and putting Grace to bed, we played "Scene It", 3 games with Danialle and Chadd winning each time, followed by about 1/2 of a Trivial Pursuit game. By the time the clock struck midnight, we were all ready to head to bed.

This morning Grace slept until about 8:45 (heaven!), and then we got up packed the car and headed to IHOP for a group breakfast. Then we came home and have been hanging out ever since.

Now the real reason for the post. My 2007 Resolutions! I've included the resolutions from last year and how I did, and the new resolutions for 2007.

Health
1.) 2006: Lose 20 pounds
2007: Done! I actually lost closer to 30 if you count from my highest cancer weight. I'd like to lose another 10 this year.

2.) 2006: Plan meals weekly.
2007: Not so good at this last year. I'd like to give it a try again. It helps me eat better and save money!

3.) 2006: Exercise (by March 1, I'd like to be back up to the old BFL exercise plan)
2007: Not even close. Too busy with school. This year I'd like to try to do the Pilates DVD's 2 days per week.

4.) 2006: Drink 4 to 5 bottle of water daily - At first I'll still allow myself Coke as long as I get all my water in. Then we'll be phasing out those drinks.
2007: Not very good at this. Did switch from Coke to Diet Coke. New goal, only 1 Diet Coke per day until after I drink at least 4 bottles of water.

5.) 2006: Update Diet Blog weekly.
2007: Nope. Not going to continue this one. Too busy with school.

6.) 2006: Don't get any additional diseases or life-threatening illnesses.
2007: Done! More of the same.

7.) 2007: Cook a healthy meal at home on non-school week-nights (3 days per week).

8.) 2007: Get clearance from doctor to begin trying to get pregnant by end of the year.

Finances
1.) 2006: Stay within monthly budget
2007: Didn't even track it. I'd like to redo a 2007 budget and try again.

2.) 2006: Only eat lunch out once per week
2007: Nope. Have an agreement with the girls at work for 2 lunches out per week (client engagements don't count).

3.) 2006: Stop using credit cards
2007: No comment.

4. 2007: Reduce total debt (credit cards, student loans, etc.) by $10,000.

Intellectual
1.) 2006: Take 4 prerequisite courses for med school
2007: Done. Same for this year. Add, get A's in all!

2. 2006: Take 2 CPCU courses
2007: Done. This year, Take 1 CPCU course to complete requirement.

3. 2006: Read 4 books for fun.
2007: I can't remember, but probably not. Going to skip this one, school keeps me too busy.

4. 2007: Research various medical schools and requirements for admission.

5. 2007: Purchase study materials or sign up for a class to prepare to take the MCAT in April 2008.

Spirituality
1.) 2006: Do bible study daily
2007: Fell off after a couple of months. New goal, 3 days per week.

2.) 2006: Update and pray over prayer list daily
2007: Same as above, new goal 3 days per week.

3.) 2006: Memorize a verse each week
2007: Didn't do. Not going to keep as a 2007 goal.

4.) 2006: Tithe according to commitment made to church
2007: Done. Increased commitment for 2007.

5.) 2006: Get involved in some type of group study
2007: Not done. I'll keep my eyes open for a good time, but with school I have lots of conflicts.

Personal Development
1.) 2006: Get a new hair style (just joking!)
2007: Done! No need to renew.

2.) 2006: E-mail a friend each week that I don't already communicate with on a weekly basis
2007: Not done. Too hard to keep up at home with school commitments.

3.) 2006: Send birthday, anniversary and other cards
2007: Not as good as I hoped, so we'll try again.

4.) 2006: Join Young Survivor Coalition or other breast cancer group
2007: Officially yes, but I haven't attended any meetings.

5.) 2006: Review progress at 6 months
2007: Done, do it again.

6.) 2007: Be/feel more Sexy. Starting with shaving the legs twice a week and no cotton underwear except for 1 week per month.

7.) 2007: Update blog at least 1 time per week. I feel like I've been missing out lately, so I want to try harder to keep this updated.

I hope you all have a wonderful 2007 and try to make this year better than the last.

Merry Christmas!

2007-01-01T20:17:00.000-05:00

Santa's Helpers
Originally uploaded by Jenmomma.

So, I'm a little tardy, but I wanted to do our Christmas post. More pictures in Flickr.

We had a very nice Christmas and we aren't quite done. We still have Christmas with my parents when we go to Iowa for a 5 day visit in just 2 weeks.

Last Friday, my office closed early (1 pm) and Eric called to say he could get off work by 3 p.m. I hurried home, finished the laundry, packed our bags, loaded the car so when Eric and Grace came home, we could hit the road. We drove to Terre Haute and stayed with Eric's Mom. We got in early enough to visit for a bit, and also hung out Saturday morning. Grace even helped with some holiday baking (picture in Flickr). Donna left with Larry (her boyfriend) around noon to head to his families and we put Grace down for a nap. After naptime we drove over to Eric's Dad's to visit and have Christmas. Visiting was very good. Kyle, Leslie, Ashton, Logan and David came too.

Just a side note, I don't want to get into all the details because it isn't our story, but David is my nephew. He's Kyle's son from a previous relationship, although Kyle just learned about him recently. He's 14 years old and seems to be a great kid, so we're embracing him as a new part of the family.

Lots of presents were exchange. Grace got some clothes, a Little People Preschool, and 2 new movies. Eric got some work clothes and a leather Colt's jacket. I got a jewelry box, picture frame clock, and a Bath & Body Works gift card. After eating and exchanging presents, we left to drive to Kyle and Leslies to spend the night.

Donna met us there and after putting the littlest girls to bed, we visited some more and watched some TV. Sunday morning (Christmas Eve), we got up relatively early and opened more presents mostly from Donna. Grace got an American Girl Itty Bitty Twin from Kyle, Leslie, and the girls. Donna got her the matching outfit. It's adorable, so I think next week I'm going to get her 2 year pictures taken with the doll and in the outfit. Grace got some other toys, some clothes, and more candy than we knew what to do with. I got some golf accessories, balls, a ball retreiver, and a practice putting green. Eric got a Colts rug/floor mat and cash. After gifts, we headed to Cracker Barrel for breakfast. It was extremely busy, so we were there for a long time. We came home visited a bit more, Eric watched the Colt's game and then we had a light dinner before hitting the road. We ended up getting home around 8:30 p.m.

Monday morning, Christmas Day we got up when Grace woke up around 7:30 a.m. I think Grace had enough presents because after opening 2 presents, she started asking for cereal and Nemo. We tried to get her to eat her cereal on the coffee table by the tree, but no luck. So, we let her watch Nemo in the front room and Eric and I opened our gifts. I got a couple of sweaters, a pair of dress pants, a new bra and some underwear from Victoria's Secret, a beautiful jewelry box, and a hybrid back-3 club, and sand wedge (golf clubs). Eric got an I-Pod Nano including the "survival kit" that had various chargers and car accessories, dress pants, 2 dress shirts and 2 ties. After we finished opening we took Grace's presents in the front room and opened them while she watched TV. Grace got a small kitchen, a tea party kit, dress up shoes and a purse, the Little People circus, and Elmo Goes Potty DVD. Also some PJs and a sweater. Her big gift from Daddy was a fish tank (pictures in Flickr). We just set up the tank before Christmas and got the fishies the day after. She loves them.

This last week was extremely productive at work. So many people (including my clients) were on vacation, my phone hardly rang and I got lots of work done. It was awesome. Next week back to reality, including school. Organic Chemistry starts on Tuesday.

This is Going to be a long one

2006-12-19T21:21:00.000-05:00

Family Photo
Originally uploaded by Jenmomma.

Yes, I still exist. I've had a whirlwind of the last 6 weeks. I've got lot's to catch up on, so I even brought my calendar down to help me remember what's going on. Feel free to take a break and read when you get a chance. So where to start?

School
I spent most of November studying. Taking two classes at once was the hardest thing I've done (stress wise) in a long time. It was extremely difficult to stay focused an study every evening. It worked out ok, though. I completed the quarter December 4th and got A's in both classes. I think I worry about it, because I really want to make it through all these classes with a 4.0 GPA. I'm sort of afraid that I won't get in to med school with a B, especially if I'm only taking one class at a time. Next quarter, starting January 2nd, I'm going to be taking the first in the Organic Chemistry series.

Work
Work has been very crazy. Forty percent of my clients have January 1st renewals, so I've been scrambling trying to get the programs together and meetings, etc. They also laid off one of my good friends, so that leaves more work for the rest of us. I actually sent resumes out over Thanksgiving, but now I'm not so sure I'm in a huge hurry to leave. If all goes well, I'll be done in about 3 years. Also, I'm still hoping for a promotion this Spring. I also heard that the bonus pool for my department is decent this year (bonuses are given March 1). I also will be finishing my CPCU in Feb or March and will get a $3,000 bonus once I complete. Then there's the trip to Hawaii for Eric and I to get the CPCU designation this September. Suddenly the hours of work and being unappreciated seem tolerable. It's easier to look at it that way when I know long-term I'll be doing something I love and am meant for.

Thanksgiving
This year for Thanksgiving we continued our new tradition (3 years and running). We all headed to Will and Samara's in the morning and Samara and I cooked, the kids played, and the guys watched TV. Grace and Ava adore each other and it was so fun to see them play and picture the next years watching them grow up together. Eric went home in the evening, but Grace and I spent the night. Samara and I got up early and went shopping on Friday and Will watched the girls. Eric had to work. After a full day of shopping I picked up Grace and we came home and crashed. Unfortunately I didn't get all my shopping done, so I had to go out again (I didn't have many weekends available for that!)

Grace - Cleft Palate Clinic Annual Evaluation
December 5th was Grace's 2 year evaluation at the Cleft Palate Clinic. Again she saw the Plastic Surgeon, Dentist, ENT, and Speech Pathologist. The surgeon said everything looked good in her mouth and no problems. The Dentist also said no problems and that she had "beautiful dentiture." The ENT said her tubes were still in place, but were working themselves out.

I was most interested in talking to the Speech Pathologist. I told her I wasn't sure if Grace's speech issues are just her age and the stage she's in or cleft related. Grace has trouble with the "hard" consonants "d", "b", "p" sounds. She pronounces her d's like n's and her b's like m's. For example Daddy is Na-ee, her friend Danny is NeeNee, Bye-Bye is my-my, book is mook, etc. They asked about her vocabulary if she had 50 or 100 words and I was pleased to say she easily has over 100 words. She'll repeat almost anything you say. Even complicated words like "Alligator." She also puts words together. Go Bye-bye, more milk, no night-night. She even has some simple sentences. "I want to do it." "Can you help me." "Mommy, come here." Anyway, they want us to do a Speech and Language Evaluation to see if we need to help her out. That is scheduled for January.

Final Herceptin Appointment
That's right. On December 6th I had my final dose of Herceptin. I took a great nap in the chair and joked with the nurses that I'd miss my excuse to get out of the office and take a nap every couple of weeks. It's refreshing to know I'm done with the cancer treatment (ignoring the Tamoxifen pill for now). Dr. Y is going to have me do an "end of treatment" CT and Muga scan in February and at that time, I'm going to discuss when I can get my port out. The nurse said they usually recommend that they leave it in for a while. I asked what a while meant and she said a year. I asked why and while she was waffling had to fill in the blank, "just in case." I don't want to leave it in just in case. I have faith that I'm done with treatment. No more cancer. And, if I'm wrong, if it does come back...I've already decided I'll have a double mastectomy, so they can just put it back while they are in there. We'll see if Dr. Y agrees.

Grace Stitches
After my last Herceptin appointment, I picked Grace up from daycare and while at home she wanted to watch a movie. She went into the front room and tried to get into the entertainment center and pulled on the stockings I have hanging. The ceramic snowman stocking holder fell off the entertainment center and onto her head. Obviously she cried. When I looked at it, I could tell there was a bump and it broke the skin, but it hardly bled at all. When Eric got home he wanted to rush her to the hospital. I'm not quite as nervous as he is. I agreed to call my Mom for her opinion. She asked about Tetnus shots and I had no idea if Grace had ever had one. (FYI...Tetnus is the "T" in the DTAP shot, so yes, she was up to date.) So, after stopping at the McDonald's drive through we headed to Children's Hospital ER. Long story short, Grace got 2 stitches in her head. They were disolvable, so no need to get them removed. She didn't lose consciousness and was perfectly normal all evening, so no head scans needed. We were there from 7:00 p.m. to 1:30 a.m. Not fun at all.

Grace's 2nd Birthday Party
The weekend of 12/8 we had Grace's birthday party. I was a little nervous because we had tons of family coming in, but it went really well. Thursday night, my parents flew in. They were supposed to get in at 5:30 p.m, but their flight from Cinci to Columbus got cancelled. The airline put them in a cab, but there was a fatal accident on the interstate, so they didn't get in until 10:30 p.m. Friday, Eric and I both went to work (I had one of those meeting I mentioned), Grace stayed home with Grandma and Grandpa. Saturday morning we went to see Santa at the mall. Grace said she wanted to see Santa, but not sit on his lap. That's what happened. We did get a picture, but Grace is sitting on my lap and pouting next to Santa. My Grandparents (Grace's Great-Grandparents) came over for the first time. Eric's Mom and boyfriend came and Eric's brother and family came too. Saturday night we ordered in and visited. Sunday morning my Mom and Grandparents went to church with us. Grace came home and napped and then we had the party at Chuck E Cheese. It was so nice not to have to decorate or worry about entertaining. I think we had 5 kids and about 15 adults there. (Pictures in Flickr). After the party, Eric's family went home and my parents and Grandparents visited for a while before leaving Monday.

Colonoscopy
Last time I met with Dr. Y I mentioned to him that I'd had some bleeding and with my history and my friend Kim's recent Colon Cancer diagnosis, I wanted to be sure I mentioned it to a doctor. He recommended I get a colonoscopy. So I did. I left work Monday 12/11 at noon to come home and start the prep. I got the stuff to drink. It was so gross. I only got about 1/2 of it down and drank much slower than I was supposed to, but it still worked. Tuesday, 12/12 my appointment was at 9:30 a.m. We got in early and didn't have to wait long. They gave me the anesthesia, but I wasn't completely out of it. I remember watching the TV screen with the scope. Results were good. No problems found, not even a hemorrhoid. I was just advised to eat more fiber. Check that one off the list of things to worry about.

Grace's 2 Year Check Up
Wednesday, 12/13 we had Grace's 2 year check-up with her pediatrician. Her height was 33 3/4 inches and her weight was 34 pounds. She's about 50% for height and 95% for weight. We discussed that we're completely switching to 2% from whole milk. I also need to have her drink less milk (she drinks 4 to 5 sippy cups of milk a day). We should pay attention to what and how much she eats, but not necessarily put her on a diet. She's only 2 after all. I told Dr. H about the Speech appointment and she was fine with us going, but said if Grace didn't have any other health issues she wouldn't have referred us to a speech therapist at this point. Grace had a finger prick and we were done. She got a bandaid on her finger and the whole way to the car, she kept saying "moo-moo inger." Translation Boo-Boo on her Finger. It was so cute.

Holiday Program
Thursday night 12/14, Grace had her daycare Christmas program. Pictures aren't great, but they are in Flickr. Grace's class did Jingle Bells. They walked up on stage and Grace saw Eric and started pointing at him and saying Daddy. Then they handled out bells and started the music. Grace was fine for a minute and then realized all the people in the crowd were watching her. Her little lip started quivering, she kept saying "No" over and over and shaking her head. She even handed the bells back to her teacher. She then started crying and when the song was over, she got to come back and sit with us. I felt bad for her, but it was so cute. I even had several parents say later that she stole the show. Seriously, I think everyone thinks she's adorable. Although I may be slightly biased.

Sick Baby
Thursday night after the program, Grace woke up around 11:00 p.m. I checked on her and she felt really hot, so I took her temperature. It was 103 degrees. I gave her some Tylenol, but she was restless the rest of the night. I even let her sleep in bed with me from 4:30 a.m. to 6:00 a.m. I checked her temp again at 6:30 a.m. and it was still 103 degrees. Eric had an appointment, so I went into the office and got some work to bring home and then spent the day at home with Grace. I checked e-mails all day, participated in a conference call, spoke to a client on my cell phone, and revised a proposal, so it was a fairly productive sick/vacation day. After alternating Motrin and Tylenol all day, her fever finally broke around bedtime Friday night. I did call the doctor and they said it was probably viral. Saturday she was fine.

So that brings us up to the present. Here's what I have coming up
Upcoming Events
Christmas - We're traveling back to Indiana on Friday to do Christmas with Eric's family. We'll be back on Christmas Eve night to wake up at home on Christmas morning. We may go visit Will, Samara and Ava that afternoon to exchange gifts and have a nice Christmas dinner.

New Years - We'll again be traveling to Indiana. Saturday we'll stay with Danialle and Chadd and then Sunday (New Year's Eve) we'll all go up to Lafayette to celebrate with Eric and Erica.

January 2 - Classes begin again.

Iowa - January 12th through 16th we'll be flying to Iowa to see my parents and do a late Christmas with them.

I will do a Christmas update post. I also plan to do a New Year's recap of my goals from last year and then new one's for this year. I may have to make a resolution to update my blog more often!

Ok, I think I'm ready for bed. I'll try not to let this long pass again. I really feel like I missed a lot of my feelings in the post. I need to capture that as it happens.

Halloween Pictures

2006-10-31T22:44:00.000-05:00

Grace and Mommy on Halloween
Originally uploaded by Jenmomma.

Grace was a ladybug for Halloween. After some initial confrontation over the costume (I admit the red and black tights may have been a bit much), the evening went well.

We trick or treated for about 30 minutes. Grace got lots of candy and even said "Thank you" at the last 3 or 4 houses. Only one house was "scary" and she started to throw a fit when we got back home and she had to go inside. Grace did enjoy watching us hand out candy to Trick-Or-Treater's though and she ate plenty of her own goodies before passing out in a sugar coma and going to bed.

Check out the rest of the pictures in Flickr, they should be in order if you go to the "Grace" set.

Why I Wore Red Lipstick...

2006-10-29T20:54:00.000-05:00

A week or so ago, there was a Lifetime movie on called "Why I Wore Red Lipstick to My Mastectomy." I recorded it on the DVR and just got around to watching it tonight. I must say I was surprised at my response. To give you a brief overview of the story, a 27 year old woman on the brink of starting to try to have children, finds a lump in her breast. She's married to a doctor and after a flurry of testing they find out she has cancer. She spends some time researching and decides to have a masectomy rather than a lumpectomy and radiation. She then goes through chemo. The story has a nice wrap up including a tattoo to remind her of her fight, a photo shoot for Self magazine showing her scar, and finally a baby being born.

I'm over a year out from my diagnosis, my scars have healed, my chemo was finished 8 months ago, and I'm almost done with the Herceptin treatment. I've never found it difficult to discuss my cancer situation and have in general felt that I've been very positive and optimistic.

Tonight I started watching the movie while Grace was coloring before starting her bedtime routine. As the movie started and she started having all the tests done, I felt the tears coming and realized I couldn't watch it casually while playing with Grace. I turned it off until after bedtime where I could feel free to feel any emotion that came to me.

Watching this woman go through what I've just been through brought back so many memories. I forgot how scared I was those first couple of weeks when everything is so uncertain. I even briefly wondered if I should have considered a masectomy. I realized I never want to do it again. I watched her go through chemo and she looked so pale and frail and never cut her hair as it thinned. I was proud of the fact that I didn't ever get that sick and people always said I looked great (heck I even gained 20 pounds). I'm glad I shaved my hair off and wore my baldness like a badge of honor. I related to the discussions in the chemo room with other patients. I felt thankful that my relationship with my husband only got stronger while at first she struggled with hers. I loved that she got a tattoo to symbolize her journey. So did I, but she did it alone, and I did it with my girlfriends.

And I relized that maybe my scars haven't healed yet. This journey isn't over, it's something that will always be with me. A time in my life that I can reach back to and draw strength from. And I loved the ending where she had a baby (the after credits told about her second one). Cancer didn't steal my life or my future. It made me appreciate what I have and vow to make my life and my future something I can look back and be proud of. So many people don't make it through cancer. If I'm one of the lucky ones that do make it (which I fully intend to be), I want to make sure my life was worth being here for.

Speaking of...I've got a Chemistry book upstairs calling my name. If I ever want to get into medical school....

Some more Results

2006-10-26T19:19:00.000-05:00

Just a quick update. Things have been crazy busy around here. I even broke out in hives last week!

Yesterday I had a Herceptin/Doctor's appointment. Good news is that my MUGA result was back up to 69%, so since it went up and not down, I can finish my Herceptin treatment, which only actually is resulting in 2 more appointments! I'll be finished the first week of December. I also mentioned in this appointment that over the last couple of months, when I have a very "solid" BM, I tend to get a little blood. I assume it's just a small hemmroid or something, but with the recent news of my friend's colon cancer, I wanted to at least mention it to a doctor. Now Dr. Y wants me to have a colonoscopy. He made me an appt. with a GI Dr. in December. I really just thought he'd tell me it was nothing and I could file that away in the "nothing to worry about" category, but I think once you have a history of cancer they check everything out. I asked him if he thought this was going overboard, and he assured me that even though it's highly unlikely that I have a polyp (although he followed that up with a comment about the small chance of my breast cancer too), that at this point for me to have a high quality of life, he doesn't want me to worry. So if he can give me an answer and a reason not to worry, he would rather go ahead and do that rather than ignore it. I guess that's ok, but I'm not really looking forward to this procedure and it seems a little silly to me when I'm sure I just have a hemmroid or something. On the other hand I've also been getting consitpated more often than I used to and for the last couple of weeks I've had a little lower back pain, so maybe I should get checked out.

I also yesterday had my annual GYN appointment. No surprises or major events, but I did discuss a little with the Dr. regarding what happens when we finally get to start trying for #2. She suggested that after I stop the Tamoxifen that I use OPK's for a couple of months, just to be sure that I am actually ovulating. If not, she can try to help me out with that, if I am, then she'll have us try for 6 months or so before we start suspecting any problems and move to the next step, whatever that may be. The time will be here before we know it.

In other news, I had my first test in both my Biology and Chemistry classes last week. The Bio test had a curve and after the curve, I got a 97%. The Chem class didn't curve and I got an 80%. Not super happy about the 80, but it's still possible to finish strong and get an A in the class. I just have to keep trying!

Grace is growing like a weed and is such a joy. I absolutely adore this age. However, we're having a minor daycare delima. They sent home a note and starting in November rates go up. In our class room it's an increase of $20 per week. Now we'll be paying $5 more than when she was in the infant room. I'm guessing it's still reasonable for the area and we love her teachers and the facility, it just sucks that we're going to have to pay more.

Ok, my family is home and I'm going to dinner with Grace and some women that I used to work with, so I better get going. Just thought I'd pass along some information

The Cancer Blog

2006-10-14T14:22:00.000-05:00

I have a post about me on The Cancer Blog. October is breast cancer awarness month and one of my in-the-computer friends has posted a "Survivor Spotlight" about me. Go here to read it.